Showing posts with label Dirty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dirty. Show all posts

Saturday 11 February 2017

Love and Lust

HEAD TURNER

Every time she turns her head
All heads turn to her and she is viewed
But I am pleased to say she sees only me
And each time my desire is renewed

LOOKING VERY GOOD IN BLACK

I thought of how good she looked in black
When I saw her approaching
And anticipated the removal of the Green dress
At the end of the evening
IN HER WEDDING DRESS

In her wedding dress
His eyes watched as the sun
Danced on the silver thread.
The pattern was pure, unadulterated
Like the precious contents,
But that night his eyes alighted
On the pattern of another dress
One of shimmering silk
Whose pristine flimsiness
Stood momentarily between
Him and his expectant bride

BEAUTEOUS FLOWER

There is a great beauty
And hers was revealed
As it unfurled before me
Like the petals of a flower
Opening to the sun’s rays.
In a moment, embers,
Which had smouldered unseen
Ignited into burning fire
And that fire burned for her
And amidst that passion
Was a flaming desire
To see the petals of her
Own sweet flower
As yet unseen

WALKING HAND IN HAND

Walking hand in hand
Desire burned slow
And then a moonlight kiss
Ignites passions glow
And Nerves tingle
In baited anticipation
But he holds his roaring lust
In silence suppression
Though erotic thoughts
Bring Images of sin
And mouth-watering joys
That would soon begin



ARE YOU WEARING THAT TONIGHT?

Are you wearing that tonight?
I can’t say I’m not disappointed
You don’t normally have a hair out of place
And you are always perfumed and anointed
You haven’t bothered to get glammed up
So tonight you look like a plain Jane
I certainly don’t want to be seen with you
And you only have yourself to blame
You’ve done something out of place
And I really didn’t want to see “the girl below”
Yes I do think that it’s all over between us
But I don’t agree that I’m being shallow

Wednesday 21 May 2014

Erotica

CLICKETY CLACK

Clickety clack
Was the talk from the track
As Across the compartment
She sat down seductively
And the first seed of
Awakening arousal, germinated
I gave her the benefit
Of my silent appraisal
Clickety clack
Was the talk from the track
She adjusted her posture
Under my intense gaze
And re-crossed her legs
Exposing a tantalising
A hint of stocking top
And with each mile
Arousal grew
Like a blooming flower
Clickety clack,
Was the talk from the track
The sun streamed into the carriage
And illuminated her
The Dark nipples proud,
Showed through the
White Shimmering silk
Of her blouse
And the flower of arousal
Had blossomed
Clickety clack,
Was the talk from the track
Until we arrived
Shuddering and juddering
In the climax of journeys end

THROUGH THE OPEN FRENCH WINDOW

Through the open French window,
The sun streamed into the room,
Spreading across her
Semi recumbent form
Bathing her pale porcelain skin
In its yellow glow
I look on with delight
At her sensual beauty
Marvelling at the sight
Loins filled with lust
And an indestructible desire
Forged of steel and fire
As my hungry eyes
Consumed her treasures
Then I covered her smooth skin
With kisses soft and feather light
Before I could finally enjoy
The previously hinted at joy

YOU ARE WELL ENDOWED

You are well endowed
Is it all you?
Or is it padded up there
I won’t care
If you let me in up there
And what about below stairs
Just let me get in under there
Into your under wear
And I will find your derriere
Among your treasures
And some mutual pleasures

LIKE A HUMID AFTERNOON

Like a humid afternoon
She was left breathless
Passions bloom
Lingering on her cheek
Contentment’s smile
Playing about her lips

HER RED HAIR FALLS

As she quietly sleeps
Her red hair falls
In a crimson cascade
Across the fresh
Milk white skin
Of her naked flesh
And as I take in
The breath-taking vista
I sigh to myself, in
Contented admiration

Friday 10 January 2014

A Little Bit Dirty

RED SILK

Red silk clinging,
Accentuating
Each contour
Each curve
And when she moved
It moved with her
Like a soft caress

RED SATIN

Sexy red satin
Soft as the skin
Contained within
Smooth red satin

RED FACED

You never look as lovely, you know?
As you lay beside me in the afterglow
And the reason for that I must confess
Is that I love you red faced and breathless

I WAS AT THE END OF MY WITS

I couldn’t understand
I was at the end of my wits
I couldn’t undo her bra
I couldn’t get to her tits
The device was preventing
My reaching her bits
Then I thought that I should
Remove my woolen mits

I PULLED A CRACKER

I pulled a cracker
At the Christmas Party
And by way of a novelty
She wasn’t even tarty

Not at all my type
But I began to weaken
And thought to myself
Well tis the season

When the pagan symbol
We were stood below
Took effect, we kissed
Beneath the Mistletoe

Though not my usual morsel
I’m not one who dawdles
And I soon had my hands
On her Christmas baubles

ON THE VINE

My husband and I were
Visiting a vineyard
We were on holiday
To rekindle our passion
Which due to the side effects
Of his obesity
Sex was restricted
To only a special occasion

I’d lost sight of him briefly
Amidst the vines
When I found him
With an erection and at play
I looked at the vines
As he said Sémillon, Sémillon
I replied “I think you’ll find
They’re Chardonnay”

I SAW HER ACROSS THE OFFICE

I saw her across the office
She had tinsel in her locks
And a gleam in her eyes
She wore red striped socks
Way up to her thighs
My thoughts were not of her locks
As I devoured her with my eyes
I thought she was quite a fox
But then to my surprise
She offered me her Christmas box
As she undid my flies


Monday 3 June 2013

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 84) Love On The Orient Express (Part Two)

After breakfast we washed and dressed and made our way to spend the morning in the Bar Car and met some of our fellow travellers and chatted over coffee and enjoyed the beautiful scenery of the Alps.

Shortly before midday the train arrived at the Hauptbahnhof in Innsbruck, Georgia and I decided to get off the train to stretch our legs and enjoy the mountain air and the lovely spring sunshine.

It was about half an hour later when the train pulled out of the station.
We had re-boarded the train in the Lalique car, which was where the on-board boutique was located, because I wanted to buy Georgie something that would be a lasting memento of the trip.
“You don’t have to buy me anything” she said, “I’m never going to forget this trip”
But I insisted that we should buy something that would be both a memento and the first thing for our home together.
We settled on a piece of hand blown French crystal in the form of an angel.

After I had purchased the crystal, Georgia suggested we go back to our cabin rather than returning to the bar car.
“She’s horny again,” I thought to myself
So I concurred with her suggestion but within moments of getting back to the cabin the Stewart knocked to say lunch was now being served.
So instead of enjoying a decadent shag we followed him to the dining car instead and enjoyed a delicious though leisurely three-course lunch.
As I watched a glowing Georgia sipping her wine I was overcome with love for her.
I was so lucky to have her in my life, and I couldn’t bear the thought that I might lose her.
But I knew that I risked losing her with every flirtation and every tryst, but I couldn’t stop.
If a woman offered herself on a plate then it would be rude not to accept her hospitality.
So I was just being polite.
But it wouldn’t be forever after all as I got older those offers would decrease exponentially.
And if they stopped tomorrow and I never fucked another woman for the rest of my life I would be more than content to just shag Georgia.
I smiled at her and said
“I love you”
“I love you too,” she said “but now I need to pee”

While she was in the toilet I gazed out the window at the beautiful scenery of spring.
I loved the spring when it arrived; it was such a long time between the last glimpse of thigh in the autumn and the first sign of cleavage in the spring
When all the girls cast off their winter vests and exposed their pallid flesh.
Of course when I thought back to the previous spring and that terrible writers block and how close I was to having to leave the village.
But then that wonderful May afternoon when the flirty virgins lit the blue touch paper and Georgia felt the explosion.
And the floodgates opened and the block evaporated away and I had no shortage of ideas or scenarios and my biggest headache was a struggle to get them onto the page in time.
My sexual activity since that May afternoon apart from being exceedingly pleasurable had also proved to be a means to an end as whatever lustful exploits I participated in fuelled my Erotic stories, which I published under the pen name of Julianna Molesworth and I had profited very well indeed.
My life had changed inexorable and it had been touched by some wonderful people, some of whom touched me in some very intimate places.
I loved Georgia and I would have preferred when I pledged myself to her to have done so to her alone.
There was no reason why I should not commit to her after all some of the recent recipients of my carnal attentions had moved on.
Judith had a new man in her life, Frankie was pregnant, the ex-flirty virgins had boyfriends who were benefiting from my tutelage, Maisie and India were an item, Shula was being serviced by her fiancé Alois.
Andrea was away with the missions, Tilly was to marry Robert Hunter and Dakota was involved with Tilly's brother Tristan.
Even Pandora had a new man in her life; Harry of the Beautiful hill was now exploring Pandora’s beautiful hills.
That was in part why I proposed to Georgie my ex-lovers were happy and I thought I wanted that and decided I could have that.
And I was very happy with Georgia but alas I had underestimated Cousin Molly and Dr Claire Andrews, it appears that in the case of the former we were destined to be forever fuck buddies and the latter of course I was to be her long term respite carer.
On top of which there were the ongoing negotiations with Agnes Snipe and the payments in kind for organizer extraordinaire Olivia Adamson but I also found it almost impossible to give up Pandora my special older woman.

After Georgie returned to the restaurant car and lunch was over we returned to our cabin.
The bunks had been stowed away and the banquette sofa had been restored and I thought we might while away the afternoon in mutual gratification.
Georgia clearly had a similar idea, as the moment we were back in the cabin she wriggled out of her skirt and was naked beneath it I stood briefly admiring her fluffy bush and then as she pulled her top off over her head I inched forward and ran my fingers through her lush growth.
“I think trains make me horny” she said as I worked my fingers towards her minge.
“Everything makes you horny” I said as my digits progressed through her damp whiskers and tentatively probed at her gash.
She leant back against the door and I kissed her as I fingered her slippery slit.
“Mmmm” she moaned in my mouth and opened her thighs wider allowing me to slip two fingers into her creamy cunny.
As I frigged her and Georgia came loudly she closed her thighs on my hand.
I freed myself and carried her to the banquette where she climbed onto the sofa on all fours and presented me with her pink moist pussy so I knelt behind Georgia’s lovely naked body and slipped into her syrupy quim.
"Oh that feels so good Simon” Georgia said “So hot and so dirty"
Georgia had her face pressed against the glass admiring the spectacular scenery as the train travelled through the Italian Dolomites as I banged her wriggling squirming form.
Her hot panting breath huffed up the glass as I brought her to climax and Georgia screamed, a second later I erupted inside her.
When I withdrew my sticky shaft from her quim she rolled onto her back
"That was so good" she purred,
We had finished in a timely fashion as a few minutes later our afternoon tea was served in our cabin.

After tea Georgia wanted to play some more and I thought to myself
“Trains do make her horny” as she knelt on the floor sucking my cock.
And as the train pulled into Verona’s Porta Nuova station I pulled out of her.

Georgia freshened up and redressed while the train was in the station and I was happy to see her dressed in her matching yellow bra and panties and as she slipped on her yellow dress the train slowly departed and we knew it was time to prepare to disembark and I held her in my arms as we crossed the Venetian Lagoon and pulled into Santa Lucia station and so began our remarkable life together.




An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 83) Love On The Orient Express (Part One)

On Thursday morning I packed my suitcase for the trip and then as a result of an interesting few days I found myself in a rich vein of creativity, I spent the rest of the day writing until I took myself off to bed.

9 o’clock the next morning my lift to the airport arrived, I picked up my bags and opened the door to find, not Claire Andrews but Olivia Adamson.
“Taxi for Fisher” she said
“What’s going on?” I asked “I wasn’t expecting to see you today, what happened to Claire”
“She’s still out on a call” she replied “so she asked me to do it instead”
“Ok then lead on” I said and closed the door behind me
As she drove me to the airport I said
“This is very kind of you, I owe you one”
“Good” she replied, “The usual payment terms will be applied”

Marly-le-Roi was situated on the Seine River near Versailles and quite a taxi ride from Charles De Gaulle Airport.
When I reached the Auberge I checked in and went up to the room and after freshening up I went down to the bar to wait for the others.
As I sat in the bar waiting I reflected on how much I was looking forward to seeing Georgia, I had missed her terribly even though she had been gone for less than a week and I had busied myself in my normal way.
It may also have been the fact that we were going away together on our first proper holiday.
I was so lucky to have her in my life; there was a point when I thought I would lose her when she gave me an ultimatum to change my lascivious ways.
But she had never again questioned my behavior in regard to other women, which I must admit I then took as tacit approval.
I had tried to change but in the end I saw no harm in taking whatever opportunities presented themselves providing I was discreet.
But I did miss Georgie when we were apart.
They arrived about an hour later and the twins excitedly regaled me of tales of their trip while the others had a well-earned rest and a stiff drink and then after lunch I took the twins swimming while the other three had a siesta.

That night we let the twins chose the venue and we went to a Chinese buffet restaurant.
Then thankfully about 9 o’clock they finally ran out of steam and it was grownup time and when her parents retired for the night and I finally got to express my happiness at having her back.

The next morning we all got on a sightseeing boat up the Seine into the city and then the girls all went off shopping while Geoff and I did the cultural stuff.
Then we all met up again after lunch and did the touristy stuff together, the Eiffel tower, Notre Dame, Montmartre then we caught the boat back to Marly.
That evening we ate at a more grown up establishment, a 3 Michelin starred foodie’s heaven.
Wasted on the twins it has to be said but for the rest of us it was divine.

On Sunday morning we all went to the local Church and I must admit I rather enjoyed the experience despite the fact we didn’t understand a word being said.
We did happen to meet up with some fellow Brits who were equally confused so we joined them for a coffee.

After lunch Geoff and Laura went off to pack while we took the twins to the local park.
When we returned Geoff had the car loaded so we said our goodbyes and waved them off.
Georgia and I then spent the afternoon very decadently in our room.

Having spent the afternoon working up an appetite Georgia demanded to be fed and wanted to go to a local bistro and pig out.
I told her no but she could have a sandwich to keep her going until suppertime.
“Where are we eating supper?” she asked
“It’s a surprise” I replied
“I don’t like surprises” she said sulkily
All weekend Georgia had pestered me to tell her where we were going.
And I refused to tell her or give her any clues and it was driving her mad.
“Will I like it?” she asked
“Yes” I said
“Oh please tell me,” she begged
“Right let’s get packed” I said and got up
Getting packed distracted her for a while but she started again the minute we got in the taxi.
“Gare de l'Est s'il vous plait” I said
“Oui monsieur” the driver replied
“What was that?” she said “where did you say?”

We disembarked outside the grand façade and the driver unloaded the bags.
“Merci” I said as I settled the fare.
“Where are we?” Georgia asked staring up at the magnificent frontage.
I signaled to a porter
“L’Orient-Express s'il vous plait” I said
“Oui monsieur” the porter replied and loaded the bags onto his trolley.
“What?” Georgia said, “What did you say?”
“Come on this way, follow the porter” I instructed and took hold of her arm.
When we got to the gate I handed the guard my tickets and our passports.
When I turned around Georgia was standing open mouthed, staring at the sign.

“We’re going on The Orient-Express?” she asked in a faltering voice.
“Yes” I replied and she started crying
“I’m sorry,” she said wiping her eyes
“It’s such a wonderful surprise”
“I thought you didn’t like surprises?” I asked
“I lied” she replied and hugged me and whispered “Can we do it on the train?”
“Oh yes” I replied

As we followed the porter along the platform we got our first sight of “the train against which all other luxury trains are measured” It was a magnificent sight and was like stepping back in time to the heyday of Art Deco and a more gracious elegant age of travel.
The porter loaded our bags onto the train and the steward helped us to our vintage double cabin.
While I was settling with the porter and the steward Georgia excitedly explored our cabin.
It was set up, as a lounge area with a banquette sofa and a small table and in one corner she found hidden behind a door was a luxurious wash station, a washbasin with hot and cold water, plump fluffy towels and a selection of toiletries.
The only thing we didn’t have was our own toilet as that was situated at the end of the carriage.
We started to get ourselves settled in when Georgia said urgently
“Have you got your tablet with you?”
“Yes” I replied, “it’s in my bag”
“Great” she said “I want to Skype mum and dad”
She rummaged in my bag and hurried outside and down to the platform.
“We depart in 5 minutes Mam’selle” the steward called after her
I followed her out along the corridor
“5 minutes only monsieur” the steward said to me
“No problem” I said “she’s just a bit excited”
“Look where we are mum” she shouted as she aimed the tablet at the train and panned along the full length of the beautifully liveried rolling stock.
The steward came to the door and tapped his watch so I guided her back towards the train.
“We’re going on the train now” she shouted to her mum

Georgia gave her mum and dad the full tour of the cabin up until the train departed and then she said
“I’m so excited I need to pee”
She would have taken the tablet with her if I hadn’t taken it from her
“Your mum doesn’t need to watch you pee,” I said
I turned the screen towards me and said
“Hi Laura”
“Hello Simon, I’ve never seen her so excited” Laura said
“I know” I said, “I don’t know how I’m going to calm her down”
“She was so excited she didn’t say where you were going,” she said
“Well I haven’t told her yet,” I told her and quickly checked Georgia was out of earshot
“We’re going to Venice first, staying for three nights and then we’ll take the train back via Prague where we’ll stay for two nights”
“How wonderful “Laura said, “And Georgia doesn’t know?”
“Not a thing” I replied I heard a sound from the corridor and stuck my head out the door just in time to see Georgie closing the toilet door.
“That’s Georgia coming back”
“Ok well I’m ready for my bed,” she said just as Georgie arrived back
“Oh are you going?” Georgia asked
“Yes it’s my bed time” Laura said
“Bye bye darling have a lovely time and take lots of pictures, love you both”
“Bye mum” Georgie said, “I love you too”
“Does she know where we’re going?” she asked me suspiciously
“How would she know?” I asked and was spared any further interrogation by a knock on the door
When I opened it, it was the steward
“Dinner is being served in the dining car whenever you are ready” he said
“Thank you Pierre” I said and closed the door
“Right let’s get dressed” I said

Half an hour later we made our way to the “L'Oriental” Dining Car a Birmingham build Pullman car beautifully decorated in the Art Deco style, where we were wined and dined on a sumptuous four-course dinner.
When we sat down in the elegant carriage Georgia said
“I don’t want much I’m far too excited to eat”
Well four courses and a lot of wine later we waddled our way back to our cabin, which in our absence had been transformed, into a cosy bedroom with the banquette sofa now having given way to two single bunks.
We were both too tired, too full of gourmet food and too drunk to christen the bunks in the manner in which we would have liked so I helped her up into the top bunk and within ten minutes we were both asleep.

The next morning just after first light I had to get up to the toilet, I didn’t bother dressing and I trotted down the corridor in my pants.
When I returned to the cabin I quietly closed the door and was just tiptoeing across the room when I spied in the early morning light Georgia’s naked buttock protruding from beneath her blanket.
I dallied by the bunk as I felt myself rising in unison with the sun and I leant in and kissed her plump cheek and the stirring continued.
I caressed her bare cheek and then followed the contours towards her crevice and probed gently between her lips.
At my first touch she was no more than moist but she lathered up very nicely as I stroked her and she began moaning softly into her pillow.
As she warmed to my rhythmic touch and her muffled moans emanated from her pillow I penetrated her with two fingers and frigged her quickly until she came.
After I had withdrawn my wet fingers from her hot pussy she swung her legs over the side and slid off her bunk so I could dispatch her on the lower bunk.
But as she slithered downwards with her legs flailing I took the initiative, I wrapped an arm around her waist and impatiently speared her before her feet could hit the floor.
I supported her weight with my left arm wrapped around her middle while my right hand grasped the edge of the bunk to give me some purchase while I fucked her.
But after a couple of strokes Georgie planted her feet on the bottom bunk and held tightly onto the top one and moaned uncontrollably as I pummelled her.
Her gorgeous little cheeks were slapping against my belly like waves lapping against the side of a boat.
She was so hot, so tight and so juicy and with every penetration she let out little high-pitched grunts.
I could feel myself on the threshold as Georgia bobbed up and down on me like a monkey on a stick.
And then with a scream of satisfaction she went rigid, but I pressed on with the assault until I too climaxed and exploded inside her sweet cunny.

While we sat in the post coital afterglow cuddling on my bunk we looked out at the magnificent scenery of the Swiss Alps, then a few minutes later there was a knock on the door when I opened it, it was our breakfast being delivered to the cabin.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 82) Payment In Kind

In the early evening as the flowing waters lapped against the side of barge I lapped at Pandy’s flowing waters and we made love again with the spring sunlight shining through the window, flooding the cabin in an orange glow.

It was getting dark as we left the barge and returned to the car.
“That was a very pleasant afternoon,” I said
“Wasn’t it” Pandora said with a grin.
“I’m not so sure that your sister in law won’t know that someone’s been there,” I said
“I know, we certainly left our mark on the bed linen” Pandora said with a chuckle

Pandora drove back along the same country lanes we had negotiated early, though with considerably less urgency on the homeward bound leg.
We journeyed in silence, lost in our own thoughts and I watched her as she drove, with a serene expression on her face until we reached the outskirts of the village when she said
“I love Harry”
The Harry she was referring to was Harry Beaumont, brother of Mortimer, who she had been seeing romantically since January.
“Good” I replied, “He’s a good man”
“But I don’t want to stop” she continued
“Stop what?” I asked although I knew what she meant
“You know what” she replied
“Harry is gentle thoughtful lover”
“But?” I interrupted
“But I want my eyes to roll back in my head and have toe curling orgasms once in a while” Pandora admitted
“I don’t want to stop either,” I said
“Why didn’t you say so before” she responded and slapped me
“Because I wanted to hear you say how much you wanted me,” I answered
Pandora blushed slightly and she smiled and took hold of my hand.

Pandora drove me back to the Golf club and dropped me in the car park.
“Are you coming in for a drink?” I asked
“I can’t darling” she said, “I’m desperately late as it is”
“Not even a quick one?” I asked
“I know your idea of a quick one” she laughed “Anyway you’ve monopolized my time all day”
“Time well spent though,” I said
“Definitely” she said
“Well if I can’t tempt you I’ll have to quench your thirst another time then” I said
“You normally do” Pandora shouted as she drove away and then I went in for a drink.

When I walked into the club lounge I found Geoff and Laura sitting at a table in the corner.
“Hello you two” I said leaning in to kiss her
“Hello Simon” Laura said
After shaking hands with Geoff I bought some drinks and sat down.
“We don’t often see you in here” I said
“We came in to chat with Georgia on her break” Geoff said
“Last minute details for the holiday”
This did not surprise me, as Geoff was a meticulous planner.
However on this occasion his problem was that and his plans had been interfered with.
On Sunday he was driving Laura and the girls to France where they were going to visit Euro Disney among other things before returning to the UK on Friday in time for Georgia and me to go away together.
Now when I say Geoff had planned the trip I mean he planned it to the nth degree.
Where they would go, where they would eat, duration of each visit etc.
However Laura and Georgia had thrown a spanner in the works because they wanted to spend a day in Paris doing some girlie shopping and this did not fit in Geoff’s literary in any way shape or form.
Just then Georgia appeared.
“Hi Hon” she said “I wasn’t expecting to see you here”
“I’ve been on the course all day” I said “I just came in for a quick one before going home”
I kissed her and went to get her a drink, when I returned to the table Georgia and Laura had ganged up on Geoff to get him to give in.
“Come on play fare you two,” I said
“But we really want to go shopping” Georgia said in a sulky teenager voice.
“Can we delay our trip by a day?”
“No” I replied, “it’s all booked”
“So that’s that then,” Georgia said sulkily
“Well not necessarily” I mused, “there is a compromise solution”
“What’s that?” Laura asked
“Well you can still do Geoff’s meticulously planned trip” I suggested “but instead of coming home on Friday go into Paris”
“But we have to get Georgia back on Friday” Geoff said
“Not if I meet up with you in Paris on Friday” I said
“We can stay at an Auberge”
“But what about your holiday?” Laura asked
“Well we stay in Paris for two night, the girls can spend Saturday shopping while Geoff and I can go and look at paintings of naked women in the Louvre” I paused “then on Sunday you Geoff and the twins come home and Georgia and I can leave for our holiday from Paris”
“We can leave from Paris?” Georgia “Where are we going then?”
“It’s a secret” I replied
There was silence for a short while as the three of them pondered my suggestion, looking for flaws in the plan.
Georgia’s expression changed as she had clearly thought of something and opened her mouth to speak but I interrupted her.
“You will need to pack for both trips, but don’t forget you can always treat yourself to some new clothes in Paris”
“It’s a sound plan as far as I can see” Geoff said which, was high praise indeed.
“I think it will be great,” Laura said
“Me too” Georgia said and then kissed me and then whispered
“I’ll by new underwear too”
“That’s a plan then?” I asked and everyone concurred
“Ok I’ll book the Auberge tomorrow” I said “my treat and no arguments”

Although I’d only had two pints at the club I felt a bit pissed when I got home, but then I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and I’d expended a lot of energy one way and another.
So I made myself beans on toast and then went to bed.

On Saturday morning I was starving hungry so I made myself a full English breakfast.
After which I set about making the changes to the holiday arrangements.
First of all I went on line to find a suitable place for everyone to stay.
I finally settled on an Auberge in Marly-le-Roi in the
Western suburbs of Paris.
So I made the booking and emailed all the details to Geoff so he could integrate it into his holiday pack.
Georgia worked on Saturday at the club and then spent the night with me but she left early on Sunday morning so she could finish her packing.
She would have left earlier had she not insisted on farewell shag.
After she had gone I showered, breakfasted and went down to St Lucy’s for some spiritual refreshment.
After the service I walked around to the Gregory’s just in time to wave them off.
Then I went home and settled down to work.
I had quite a bit to catch up with so I slowly plodded on through my emails, when I reached one from my agent Lionel Bloom.
There was a document attached so I clicked on it and I couldn’t believe my eyes.
I picked up the phone and selected his number.
“Lionel Bloom” the voice said
“Lionel” I said “Sorry to disturb you on a Sunday”
“You’ve seen the email then” he said
“I have” I replied “are those figures correct?”
“Absolutely kosher” he answered
“Then the decimal point isn’t in the wrong place?” I asked
“No its not” I said and laughed
The subject matter of the email was the first set of revenue figures for the Overend recordings, and the numbers were incredible.
Easy street incredible.
My royalties for the previous year were quite substantial and more than enough to live comfortably on but this other money was in a league of its own and it was only for the first few months of the year.
I had to do something with it and thinking what course of action to take occupied me for the rest of the day.

On Monday I needed to make the change to the time and location of departure for mine and Georgia’s holiday and for that, as the itinerary was quite complicated, I contacted my travel agent, also known as Olivia Adamson, Practice manager of the village surgery and organizational genius.
There was a small surcharge levied for the changes to the itinerary, which involved me helping Olivia out of her underwear and into a state of disgrace.
As Georgia was away in France I chose to spread the charges over a few days paying once in her office out of surgery hours, the second on the floor in my lounge and a third in the back of her car in the little secluded car park by the river that Pandora drove me to.
I thought that asking favours of Olivia was a much more enjoyable way of making reservation than doing it myself online.

I spoke to Lionel again on Tuesday and asked him to recommend an accountant of a solicitor or both to help me set up a trust fund or something like it.
He knew just the person his younger brother Emmanuelle he set up a meeting for me for the following day.

I was thrilled that Gerald Overend’s tapes and transcriptions were returning such a great sum of revenue but I felt a bit guilty, as they weren’t mine to benefit from.
So I decided that I wanted someone more deserving than me to benefit from it.
After meeting with Manny Bloom he confirmed there would be a sufficient stream of royalties to fund what I had in mind, namely two scholarship funds for pupils from St Lucy’s, one was the Gerald Overend Literary Scholarship and the other was the Katy Oliver Theology Scholarship.
That evening I phoned Eleanor Overend and gave her the news and she broke down in tears.

On Wednesday I arranged a meeting with the Vicar, Robert Hunter and the Headmistress of St Lucy’s, Donna Dauphinais, to discuss my proposal which was well received by them, but I asked that they put my offer forward at the next Governors meeting and would await their response.
The remainder of the day was spent completing my correspondence and typing up my notes onto my laptop.
This left just enough time for me to give Olivia the final installment of her surcharge in the back of her car.
“Come on then Olivia if you want me to pay” I said clambering into the back of the car.
We had already had a significant period of foreplay in the front and I was sitting in the middle of the back seat trouser-less and sporting a large erection still wet with her saliva as she opened the door and climbed in.
Olivia was not a big unit but she was a tall girl and she was sidling between me and the front seats like a cinema latecomer trying to get to her seat.
For some reason she wanted to be on the other side of me before we continued, I didn’t know nor understand her rationale and to be honest I didn’t really care.
But when she was at the zenith above my lap I lifted her skirt to expose her tidy buttocks and gripping her hips I pulled her downwards until her tight pussy enveloped me and she was squatting on my shaft.
Olivia gripped the headrests as she rose and fell on me, rising to the very tip of me on the up stroke and using every inch of my shaft on the down and the wonderfully dirty noises echoed around the car.
But despite her obvious ecstasy she lost none of her rhythm and her stamina showed no signs of wavering as she rode me right up to the point my aching balls were fit to burst and I gripped her boney hips until she milked me dry.
She finally relaxed breathless onto my lap and leaned back against me.
“Do I get a receipt for that” I asked

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 81) Randy Pandy

After a vigorous session of negotiations with Agnes Snipe in her office I crossed the fairway towards home thinking that it would be very interesting to see how the negotiations with “The Wicked Witch of the West” would develop over the coming months.
Dawn was breaking as I reached my back door and I smiled as I recalled how I left Agnes draped on her leather couch naked and despoiled breathing hard with her shaven Minge moist and bejeweled on full display.
I smiled to myself at the sight of the dragon slain in her lair by the good knight and his lance.
Though in truth she wasn’t the Witch or Dragon that she liked people to think she was.

I went inside and made coffee while the bath filled then I took my drink into the bathroom and had a long soak. After which I took myself off to bed.
When I got up it was after lunch and I felt fresh and revived until an hour later when Georgia came home and wore me out again.

First thing on Monday morning I dropped into the surgery to see Olivia.
I spoke to the receptionist and then waited by the desk.
After 5 minutes Olivia appeared.
“Good morning Mr Fisher” she said coldly
“Olivia” I said, “How are you”
“How can I help Mr Fisher?”
“That’s very formal from someone with an intimate knowledge of my kitchen floor” I whispered.
“Come into my office” she said
Once inside she closed the door
“You mustn’t talk about what happened after the funeral,” she said
“Why? Didn’t you enjoy it?” I asked
“You know I did, that’s not the point,” she said
“The warm Olivia was wonderful” I said “don’t let the cold one take over again”
There were a few moments of silence before she said
“I won’t”
“Good, now Claire left these things in my car on Friday” I said “Can you look after them for me?”
“Claire’s not in today” she said
“I know and I’m going with her,” I said
“Why couldn’t you give it to her yourself?” she asked
“Because I’m meeting her in Guildford, so tongues wont wag” I said “and I didn’t want to take all this on the train”
Olivia nodded
“Plus I wanted to touch base with you” I said and she blushed.

Until it was time to catch the train to meet Claire I busied myself writing and catching up with correspondence.
About 10.30am Georgia phoned me in a state of great excitement to tell me that Agnes Snipe had told her that we could have our first choice for the wedding reception, the date and the main ballroom because of a sudden cancellation.
“I don’t know what caused the sudden cancellation” she said “and I don’t care”
I think you might have cared had she known that I had to skewer Snipe on her desk to free up the date.

I met Claire in the car park at Guildford station and she drove to the to the specialists surgery.
I stayed with her throughout the procedure and then drove her home afterwards, which left me stranded, I hadn’t really thought it through, but in the end I got a cab to the station and got the train home.

When I got back to the village I went straight to the Vicarage, it was well into the afternoon by them and I met with the Vicar Robert Hunter to book St Lucy’s Church for the wedding.
“I think were booked up,” he said perusing the diary.
“Oh no” I said, “Georgia will be so disappointed”
“Don’t worry only kidding,” he said, “I’d already penciled it in”
“How did you know?” I asked
“I overheard Laura Gregory discussing it with Mrs. Beamish” he replied
“It was Tally’s idea to tell you it was taken” he said “isn’t she a wicked girl”
“If only you knew just how wicked,” I thought.
Later that afternoon I met Georgia from work and took her to the pictures.

The rest of the week Georgia was working double shifts so I found myself largely left in my own company, which I had to admit I had finally come to enjoy again.
On Thursday however my peace and tranquility was shattered by a visit from my cleaner Beryl Beamish.
“I’ll be spring cleaning tomorrow Mr. Fisher” she stated “All day”
“All day?” I responded
“It hasn’t had a thorough going over since the dear Vicar moved in,” she said quietly
“I had best make myself scarce for the day then” I said
“Thank you dear” she said using a term of endearment she had never used to me before Katy took up residence.

As luck would have it just as Beryl was leaving I saw Judith pull up on her drive.
So I stood on the path as she disembarked.
“Hi Simon” she said brightly “Everything ok?”
“Hi Judith” I replied “Mrs. B just told me I need to vacate the premises tomorrow”
Judith raised her eyebrows
“Spring cleaning” I said replying to her unasked question.
“Ah” she said sagely
“Are you and the girls playing tomorrow?” I asked
“Well Mortimer and I are” she replied and “Pandora and Harry were going to make up a foursome but Harry has to work so Pandy dropped out”
Mortimer and Harry were the Beaumont brothers and the romantic partners of the two ladies.
“If you phone Pandora you two could make up the four” she suggested
“Good idea, thanks Judith” I said and went back inside and phoned Pandora.

It was a pleasant morning as I stood waiting on the terrace for my party to arrive.
I only had to walk from the back of my house and across the 18th fairway so I normally arrived ahead of everyone else.
I looked at the sky and hoped it would stay fine as Claire still had my waterproofs in her car.
It was warmer than it had been over the previous week, with the skies a mainly blue expanse broken only by the occasional passing cloud of fluffy white.
The wind was very light and I thought unlikely to affect anyone’s game adversely that day so I was expecting a pleasant round.
Considering the beautiful weather the course wasn’t overly busy.
Judith and Mortimer arrived about ten minutes ahead of Pandora who appeared in typical Pandora style on time to the minute.
She was looking as lovely as the weather, immaculately turned out as usual.
She was wearing her trademark large peaked white cap with her shortish blonde hair scraped into a ponytail sticking out the back.
The rest of her outfit was all matching, predominately white with jade trim, Polo shirt, short flared skirt and ankle socks.
Her ensemble was then finished off with white Golf shoes and a Jade green glove.
And I knew from past experience that her sports bra and knickers would continue the colour theme.
Now I had noticed that ever since I had started writing bodice rippers, which are according to my mother effectively soft porn,
I seemed to be permanently horny and I looked at every woman with a renewed appreciation.
When I first started I did exclude certain women from the gaze of my pornographer’s eye.
But shagging Victoria Braithwaite, Olivia Adamson and Agnes Snipe had taught me not to be too judgmental.
We tee-ed off at 8.30am and we expected it to be a leisurely round as there was no one waiting behind us.
I smiled as Pandora bent down to tee her ball as I noticed that as I suspected she was wearing white knickers with jade green piping.
I thought to myself that even if I didn’t live in a perpetual state of horniness, and I hadn’t enjoyed Pandora on a number of occasions I would still consider her to be a very attractive woman.
I’m not sure if it was because I was a scribbler of slutty romances that I studied and appreciated her finer points or that I was just a dog.
The way her hips moved when she struck the ball or the way her tits kept moving long after the ball had gone.
The way she wiggled as she walked down the fairway or the way her buttocks clenched when she was preparing to putt.
I think it was probably because I was a man and she was fit.

We were playing match play and it was Pandora and I against Mortimer and Judith.
After we had all hit our tee shots we set off, Pandy and I on foot and Morty and Jude in a buggy.
Well despite my horniness and the distraction of Pandora bending over and flashing her draws I managed to card a pretty fair score and Pandora was having a good round as well so by the time we reached the 7th tee we were two holes up on the others.

On the seventh fairway all four of us had hit to the same part of the fairway and our balls finished up about 20 yards apart.
Up to that point Pandora and I had walked and the other two had ridden but as all our balls were so close Mortimer suggested we all climb aboard.
Mortimer was driving, Judith was riding shotgun, and I shared the back seat with the golf bags so Pandora sat on my lap.

Now all morning I had been in my usual state of semi arousal as I often was when around Pandora but as she climbed onto the cart to sit on my lap her perfume engulfed me my arousal escalated.
Once she had climbed aboard my lap she was positioned, either by accident or design, right over my cock.
“Is everyone aboard?” Morti asked
“Yes” Pandora and I said in unison.
Mortimer took it quite steady but after about 10 yards we went over a bump and the whole buggy lurched and the lump in my shorts hit Pandora right on the money and she let out a yelp.
“Ok back there” Judith asked
“Yes all fine” Pandora said relaxing herself on my lap.
For the rest of the short journey I flexed the ravenous beast in my baggy shorts and tapped it repeatedly on her flange.

We all hit our second shots just short of the green and climbed back aboard the buggy and Pandora once again parked her pussy in prime position and insured a rose once more.
When we reached the apron Pandora lingered on my lap and when she finally dismounted she slithered off me and dragged her skirt right up off her arse.
She stood next to the buggy with her white knickered arse exposed and she appeared to be in no hurry to cover it again, so while Mortimer and Judith played their shots from a safe distance away I helped myself to a generous handful of plump buttock until it was time for us to play.

Unsurprisingly we halved that hole but over the next few holes we increased our lead over our opponents to 5, despite the fact Pandy’s game had gone to shit.
She sliced her tee shots into the trees and hit every ditch and pond in sight.
I took every opportunity to grope her as the game went on,
Every time she bent over I stroked her arse, or put my hand up her skirt and caressed her plump buttock.
But as we stood on the 13th fairway and I casually brushed her breast she snapped at me
“For God’s sake stop it Simon, stop pawing at me. Unless you’re going to back up the foreplay and shag me senseless”
“Well the sooner we finish this round then the sooner I’ll have these drawers round your ankles” I retorted pinging the elastic of her knickers
“And that happy end result won’t come to fruition if you keep hitting the ball like a novice”

After our little pep talk the old Pandora was back with a vengeance and we won every hole.
Even on the 17th, a tricky blind par three, she hit a birdie.
Despite it being the scene of her first debauchment at my hands she still held her nerve.
My game held together despite the fact I was handicapped by a permanent hard on, which never dwindle as Pandora was then either flaunting herself or actually grabbing my cock.
“This isn’t stroke play you know,” I said as she tugged my cock through shorts.
Pandora just carried on until Judith almost caught her at it and she walked away giggling.

That left just the par 5, 18th to complete the round.
Judith, Mortimer and I had all hit decent drives but as I stood watching Pandora’s pre swing wiggle I was so lost in my thoughts of sexual gratification with her that I almost failed to appreciate just how good a drive she subsequently hit.
“My God Pand you spanked that one good and proper” I said
“Hold that thought Simon” she replied with a leer and then strode off down the fairway with real purpose.
When she reached her ball, which had kicked on round the dogleg, we paced out the distance to 310 yards, the longest drive she had ever hit in her life.
“It’s amazing what being on a promise can do,” I said
Her second shot was equally impressive finishing on the front apron from where she chipped in for an eagle.
“Well that’s me done” She said then she whispered, “now hurry up”
The three of us all had to chip onto the green and then Judith putted out, shortly followed by Morty and then finally me, all of us finishing on par.
As we all walked towards where Pandora was waiting impatiently by the buggy Judith said
“Wow Pandora you were on fire on the back nine”
“I know, I don’t know what got into me,” she said
I knew that it wasn’t a case of what had got into her but the anticipation of what was going to.
There followed the usual post round banter and leg pulling as we headed towards the car park and we reached it Judith said
“We’re going skip lunch and go back to mine”
“Ok” Pandora said
“Do you want us to take your clubs for you Simon?” Judith asked while Mortimer was returning the buggy.
“Yes please” I replied, “that would be lovely”
And I loaded my clubs and shoes into the boot as Pandora was changing her footwear and then Mortimer returned.
“Thanks very much for the game” he said and kissed Pandora
“Hopefully next time Pandora won’t be so hot” he added and shook my hand
She’ll always be hot I thought releasing his hand and kissing Judith.

As we watched them drive out of the car park I said
“So what would you like to do?”
“I want to skip lunch as well” she replied “but what if they see us going into yours?”
“We can’t go to mine” I said, “Mrs. B has taken over the house”
“Shit” she retorted, “we can’t go to mine either, my sister is staying”
“So lunch after all then,” I said
“No chance” she said, “get in the car”
“Why?” I asked
“Just get in the car,” she ordered
I did what she said and got in car and buckled up tight as I knew it was going to be a white-knuckle ride.
Pandora raced out of the car park and headed off away from the village and also away from where she lived.
We went at speed into the country racing along narrow lanes that I was unfamiliar with.
We drove for about 15 nerve-jangling minutes until she suddenly turned off into a little car park by the river and came sharply to a halt.
“We have arrived,” she said
“Where are we?” I asked genuinely not knowing where the hell we were.
“Come on” she instructed and got out the car.
“But where are we?” I asked following her
“Shut up and keep walking” she retorted
I did as I was told but we only went about 20 yards along the riverbank before she climbed aboard a narrow boat.
“Hey what are you doing?” I said alarmed looking around to see if anyone was looking.
“Don’t panic” Pandora said mockingly as she picked up a plant pot and recovered a key that was hidden underneath it. “It’s my sister in law’s boat”
“Come on” she said brandishing the key like a trophy.
“Are we allowed?” I asked feebly
“They’re away in Florida” she answered and went down the companionway then she popped her head back up and added
“They’ll never know we were here”
“Oh, ok” I said and climbed aboard.
By the time I’d climbed down the companionway and closed the hatch behind me Pandora already had her skirt off and was pulling her polo off over her head.
She threw the polo onto the floor and stood in the middle of the cabin wearing her sports bra, matching pants and ankle socks.
“Your turn” she said
“No problem” I said and a minute later I was stripped down to my socks.
Pandora had slipped her hand down the front of her pristine white pants while I was stripping and when I was naked I grabbed my cock and tugged on it as I walked towards her.
“Now Mrs. Parkinson-Brown, I seem to remember some mention of a spanking,” I said
“Yes” she said “me too” and turned her back on me before slipping her drawers down and bending over the folding table.
Pandora had a beautiful bum and when I playfully slapped her it produced a delightful quiver of her buttock.
“Oh Simon” she said softly “Again”
I obliged her by alternating my handiwork distributing my strokes evenly across her cheeks.
She continued to make appreciative noises but my attention was now drawn to her glistening Minge.
“I think I want to play with this now” I said as my fingers entered her damp crack, when I say damp she would be best described as dripping.
“Mm” she responded
I continued fingering her and she moaned rhythmically to my touch and the tone of her moaning was as syrupy as her pussy.
Then I brought her to climax and it was time to fuck her.
I rubbed my knob along her wet slit and her juice bejeweled my knob before I pushed my shaft into her and she let out the loudest moan of pleasure as I entered, her velvet juices immersed my member like warm honey and she moaned audibly with pleasure.
When I was comfortable inside her I reached up and unceremoniously scooped up the front of her sports bra to release her ripe fruits, which I greedily groped and squeezed.
Her moans gave way to yelps and squeals growing ever more intense as my rhythm increased and then she screamed as her body shuddered in orgasm as I shot into her.

We continued our afternoon delight when Randy Pandy got me into the bed where she exacted more from my cock until we were completely spent and we slept.

Sunday 19 May 2013

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 80) Return To The Dragons Lair

On Saturday Morning I was lying in bed, while Claire was getting clean in the shower, waiting impatiently for her to finish so I could get her dirty again.
Bored with waiting I had decided to go and shower in the other bathroom when there was a knock on the front door.
I slipped on my dressing gown and went downstairs and opened the door.
It was the same guy who had woken me the previous Monday when he came to pick up the hire car before I’d finished with it.
This week however I had, so I handed over the keys.
I went back upstairs and Claire still hadn’t appeared so I went and showered myself.

Showered and shaved I went back into the bedroom where I found Claire sitting on the bed loosely wearing a dressing gown
Which gaped from neck to thigh.
She was talking on her mobile.
“Really?” she said
I couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation
“Yes of course I will” Claire said
Again I couldn’t hear anything and to be honest my attention was drawn to what she was doing rather than what she was hearing.
She was sitting on my bed and absentmindedly toying with her freshly laundered pubic hair.
“Yes I’ll let you know” she said “Good bye”
“You’ll never guess what that was about” she said
“You’ll have to tell me then” I replied
“When we were seen by my car last night it was reported to the police” Claire said still twiddling tufts of her pubes in her fingers.
“Are you listening?” she asked and then she realised firstly what she was doing and secondly that I was watching
Which was when she began rubbing herself quite brazenly before my libidinous eyes and my impatience was finally rewarded which was when the fun really started.
What a wonderful start to the day that was.

I would have happily spent the whole day making love to Claire but alas she had to go.
However the problem was how to get her out of my house in broad daylight without being seen.
We decided to have a coffee while we made a plan, and two mugs of coffee later as if in answer to a prayer.
It started to rain, but not just rain, an absolute deluge.
“Oh shitty bloody weather” Claire cursed
“Excellent” I said
“What?” she asked, “It’s horrible”
I went into the utility and came out with a set of waterproofs and a Golfing umbrella.
“If anyone sees you in the woods they’ll think you’re a Golfer” I said “Ditto when you emerge into the lane”
“Perfect” she said “but what if I’m seen getting in the car?”
“Then you say you’re going to the club,” I said
“You’re a very devious man,” Claire said
“I know but the rewards are well worth it” I stated and Claire blushed crimson red.

But having provided Claire with the appropriate clothing we immediately hit upon a snag, the trousers didn’t fit over her skirt, it bunched up under the waterproofs and made it look like she had a bustle.
So she removed the trouser and then had to take her skirt off.
“Don’t get any ideas,” she said when she noticed me looking at her in her knickers and tights.
“Well you could stay a bit longer,” I suggested
“Don’t temp me,” she said quickly pulling on the waterproof trousers they were a little on the large side and the waistband sat just below her bust line.
Then she pulled on the top over her head before slipping on her shoes.
“That’s not going to work,” I said
“Why?” she asked
“No one would wear footwear like that on a golf course,” I told her
“They are a bit of a giveaway, aren’t they?” she admitted
“Indeed” I agreed
“What can I wear then?” she asked
“Molly’s trainers” I said
“What about all my stuff?” she queried
“I’ll drop then into the surgery on Monday, I’ll tell Olivia that you left them in my car yesterday” I said
“God you’re good at this stuff,” Claire said

After I had kissed her goodbye I let her out into the rain.
“Text me when you reach your car” I said
“Will do” she responded and off she went

Meanwhile I gathered her stuff together and put it in her backpack and put it and her overcoat by the front door.
Which was when I got a text
“Made it,” it read
After which I tidied up, changed the bedding on my bed in preparation for Georgia’s demands the next day, washed the soiled set and had an early lunch.
I spent the rest of the day resting because that night I had other fish to fry.
I slept away most of the afternoon in front of the TV and after dinner I spent most of the evening re-watching the DVDS I fell asleep in front of earlier in the day.
I ate supper of cheese and biscuits about 11.30pm and then fell asleep during Match of the Day.

When I woke up it was 2.45am.
I got up from my chair, went for a pee and headed for the clubhouse.
On arriving I checked around the building looking through the windows making sure everyone had left for the night, well almost everyone.
When I was happy the coast was clear I walked round to Snipes office and I saw her sitting at her desk with her back to the window.
She was counting the night’s takings and I smiled to myself as I thought how much she looked like Scrooge in his counting house.
The last time I spied on Agnes I caught her stuffing bank notes into her handbag and punished her accordingly.
Now I was under no illusion that Agnes Snipe “The Wicked Witch of the West” wasn’t still fiddling the books.
But if she was I didn’t care as long as Georgia was looked after.
Now on this occasion I wanted to speak to Agnes in regard to a wedding reception booking, namely that of Simon Fisher and Georgia Gregory.
Agnes had told Georgie that the dates we wanted were no longer available, however Miss Snipe and I knew differently.
Agnes merely wanted to enter into negotiations with me over the dates.
Or to put it another way she wanted me to enter her and negotiate her arse off.
On the night I caught her with her fingers in the till I had let myself in the staff entrance using Georgia’s code.
However since I sullied both Shula Mahajak and the Billiard table on New Year’s Day, they had tightened up on security and now employed a biometric system requiring the staff member’s thumbprint.
So on this occasion as I was expected I just tapped on her office window.

Despite the fact that my visit was not a surprise I nonetheless startled her because she almost jumped out of her chair, which she then swung around so she could check out the source of the tapping.
When she saw it was me she relaxed into a smile and began to fuss with her hair.
I pointed in the direction of the staff entrance and she nodded her understanding.
As I stood outside the door I looked through the glass panel as Agnes appeared in the corridor.
She clearly wasn’t aware I could see her because she began straightening her clothes and when she was about ten yards from the door she hitched up her skirt and adjusted her stocking tops.
I stepped away from the door as she opened it and once inside I said
“Good morning Miss Snipe and how are you”
“I’m well Mr Fisher what a pleasant surprise?” she said
“Well I thought we had things to discuss” I replied
“Perhaps you should come to my office then” Agnes suggested
“I think you know the way”
As we walked down the corridor I said
“I hope you are prepared for some vigorous negotiation Agnes”
“Always” she replied
When we arrived at her office she said
“Take a seat while I prepare the negotiating table”
The desk was already considerably clearer than normal so it didn’t take her long to scoop the remaining clutter into the drawers.
I sat back and watched her as she moved, stretching and bending and judged by the stirring in my pants that preceding’s had made a promising start.
Just as she dropped the last items into her top draw I stood up and as she bent down to place her telephone on the floor I walked up behind her and grabbed her arse with both hands.
Agnes straightened up immediately and said
“Oh no, not from behind Mr Fisher, I want to see it coming this time”
“Whatever you say Miss Snipe” I said and unzipped her skirt before turning her around to face me.
She smiled her thin-lipped smile as I unbuttoned her silk blouse and cast it aside and then she kissed me after which I sank to my knees and dragged her skirt down over her narrow hips.
“Let the negotiations begin Mr Fisher” Agnes said as she stepped out of her skirt and I slipped my hands up her stocking clad legs.
As I undressed her I noticed her skirt and blouse were good quality garments, Agnes did not by from a catalogue.
Her underwear was also of good quality, the stockings were sheer and the teddy was expensive silk.
I had to say that whatever else people might say of her she was she always exquisitely dressed.
Agnes was standing with her bony buttocks resting on the end of the desk with her hands resting on the polished wood as my hands reached her stocking tops and as my fingers began to un-pop the crotch of her Teddy, her hands gripped the edge of the desk.
I pulled the front of her Teddy aside to expose her hairless pussy and as I knelt before her shaven pussy I leant forward and kissed her hairless lips and she murmured in approval.
I parted her lips with my tongue and tasted her umami tang and noshed on her juicy cunt.
As wet as she was it was obvious she had been simmering all day in anticipation of our meeting so it didn’t take long for me to take her to climax.
When I stood up in front of her she was still sitting on the edge of the desk, I quickly pulled the Teddy off over her head and just as swiftly she un-trousered my cock and gripping it firmly she plugged me into her hot cunny.
As my balls reached her labia she wrapped her skinny legs around me and hooked her ankles behind my arse and her arms locked around my neck as I fucked her hard, which is after all what she wanted from me, a good hard fucking.
Agnes was no stranger to cock and she was moaning delightfully as she received one stroke after another appreciating every inch, and the noises she made were not what you would have expected from the prudish well-dressed Miss Snipe that everybody knew.
And as she released her grip from around my neck and lay back on the desk the tone of her moaning became wonderfully dirty.
She had thrown her head back and arched her back displaying her ribs as she neared the end.
And the surprisingly satisfying shag came to an end as I emptied my lot inside her.
I withdrew my dripping stork from her tidy pussy and pulled my trousers up while she was still panting and sighing
“Time for a drink I think” I said as I left Agnes Snipe spread-eagled across her desk oozing onto the blotter.
“I’ll be back for round two in ten minutes”

When I returned to her office from the bar after a well-deserved pint I found Agnes was now completely naked and sitting in her leather chair.
“I think you are a bit over dressed,” she said
I nodded agreement and promptly undressed before walking towards her and sat on the edge of her desk.
Agnes looked at me with a leer before leaning forward and taking my cock in her mouth.

After round two of the negotiations I was redressed and just being let out of the staff entrance when I said.
“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you Miss Snipe”
“Likewise” She said
“But I hope that you understand that tonight’s summit has indeed secured the date you wanted for the reception, but not the venue”
“I do,” I said and then Agnes added
“If you want the ballroom then further meetings will be required”
“I never expected anything less” I said, “however another location next time perhaps”
“Yes” she agreed
“I’ll leave the details to you” I said and closed the door behind me.

I had thought before that night that shagging Agnes Snipe in order to get the club for the wedding reception was merely
“Taking one for the team”
But I found it much more enjoyable than I had expected which is why we were to continue our negotiation right up until the week before the wedding


An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 79) Good News Week (Part Three)

After breakfasting on Georgia on the kitchen table in Roehampton I checked my watch and then quickly redressed myself as I had to get back to Bushy Down and I was now late.
When Georgia finally rose from the scene of her disgrace I was amused to see she had left a rather magnificent snail trail on the kitchen table.
Georgia made a rather half-hearted effort to redress as she donned a T-shirt, which covered her top half, though her nipples still protruded and the fabric defined her breasts as if she was still naked.
Her bottom half however was still naked as the shirt was too inadequate to preserve her modesty, stopping just above her luxuriant bush and her cute ass.
She walked me to the door.
“I want more of that on Sunday” she said and kissed me
“Don’t worry you’ll be getting more” and I kissed her back.
Then after we had said our goodbyes on the doorstep I battled the rush hour traffic back to the village so I could drive Anne to Heathrow.

I parked in the short stay and took Anne into the terminal.
After she’d checked in and dropped her bags I walked her as far as the security gate.
“Thank you for everything” she said and kissed me warmly
“Katy thought the world of you”
“I’m afraid Katy thought me a better man than I actually am” I responded
“She was a very good judge of character,” Anne said
“Goodbye” and she kissed me again before going through the gate.

After paying for the parking I returned to the car and was very soon on the way back to the village.
It was eleven o’clock when I parked in the surgery car park.
I knew I was early but I didn’t know exactly when Claire was leaving so I was happy to wait as long as necessary.
I had a good view of her car from where I was parked and as I waited I jotted down some outline notes for a rather sordid tales of domestic lust, about a horny girl in a utility room, an accommodating nurse bent over a kitchen worktop and another one about the table manners of a student.

It was twelve thirty when I saw Claire emerge from the surgery.
I didn’t mind the fact I had been waiting for an hour and a half I was just pleased I had managed to produce some very salacious material and an accompanying erection while I was waiting, but most of all I was pleased I hadn’t missed her.

I got out of the car and intercepted her.
“Hi Claire” I said
“Hello Simon” she answered without looking at me “I can’t stop”
“I know” I said, “You have somewhere important to be”
“Yes, Yes” she replied
“Which is why I’m coming with you” I stated
“But...” she started “How did yo…?”
“Come on we’ll go in mine” I insisted before she had chance to think about it and she got in the car without protest.
She sat quietly for a moment and I took her hand and said
“You don’t have to do this on your own”
And Claire began to cry.

When we got underway Claire was still dabbing at her eyes with a hankie.
“I asked Olivia not to tell anyone” she said, “She’s never broken a confidence before”
“She didn’t this time,” I said
Claire looked puzzled
“I was suspicious of absence at the lunch yesterday” I told her “So I got her pissed”

We drove into the driveway of a big private house, which was the home and office of an eminent specialist in all things mammary.
“I’m a bit of a breast specialist myself you know,” I said
“You’re just a tit man, there’s a difference” Claire responded accompanied by a weak smile.

I parked the car and we sat quietly in the car and it was Claire who broke the silence.
“I’m scared Simon” she blurted out “I’m scared I’ve got cancer, I’m scared I’m going to die”
“Aren’t you getting a bit ahead of yourself?” I queried
“I’m not brave like Katy, she was so calm, so serene” Claire said “But I’m terrified,
And what will happen to Brian if I die”
Brian was her disabled husband who needed perpetual care.
“We will cross each and every bridge as and when we reach them” I said holding her hand “I will be with you every step of the way”
Then she hugged me and completely broke down

After several minutes she calmed herself down and said
“Thank you Simon, I’m ready now”
We got out of the car and walked into the doctors and seated ourselves in the lavish reception
“Why did you do it privately?” I asked
“I wanted discretion” she replied, “So many health professionals know me, know my name”
“So why this one in particular?” I said
“Gerald is a friend, I trained with him when I was an S 1” she replied
“I see” I said I wasn’t really interested in the whys and wherefores I just wanted to keep her mind busy while we were waiting.
I didn’t need to think of another question, as there was a buzz from behind the receptionist’s desk.
“Doctor will see you now” she announced
I gave Claire’s hand a squeeze and she said
“Come in with me?”
So we stood up and walked into the doctor’s office.

Twenty minutes later we were sat in the car and Claire was sobbing uncontrollably in my arms.
But they were tears of relief.
The lump turned out to be a cyst, which could be easily removed with a rather large needle.
An appointment was made for Monday morning and the same private hospital she went for the scan.
“Do you want me to come with you?” I asked
“Yes please” she replied

She phoned Olivia and gave her the good news and the relief in Claire’s voice as she spoke was palpable.
“Oh and there’s no need to phone Simon he already knows”
Claire smiled as she listened to Olivia squirming in response.
“He got me drunk,” said the tinny voice
“I know he did” Claire said sympathetically
I couldn’t hear her response but Claire said
“Yes he is a rotten swine”

As we were driving back to Bushy Down in the bright evening sunshine Claire suddenly asked
“Do you have any visitors at the moment?”
“No just me on my lonesome” I replied
“What about Georgia?” she asked
“She’s gone back to Roehampton for a couple of days” I answered and then there was a long silence.
“Do you want some company?” Claire asked coyly
“Are you offering?” I asked her
“I am” she replied
Then after a few moments she continue
“I know I’m a terrible woman, but once in a while it’s nice to feel like I’m part of a proper couple, and I feel that with you and…”
“And today you need that more than ever” I continued for her
“Yes”

It was dark when we got back to the village and I parked the car on the drive.
Although it was Claire’s desire to come to spend the night with me she was conscious of the risk to her reputation if she was seen going through my front door after dark.
So I got out of the car and opened the door while Claire put on one of Georgie’s hats that she found in the door pocket, which disguised her sufficiently to the untrained eye while she dashed in through the door.
We would have to employ a similar subterfuge later on that evening but that was only after we had spent the evening together.
When I had safely smuggled her inside the hall she said
“Is this any kind of way for grownups to behave?” and we both burst out laughing.
But then inevitably we started kissing and began a kind of shuffle along the hall until I picked her up and carried her to the lounge when at the height of passion her stomach started gurgling and it got louder and louder until it culminated in foul tasting belch in my mouth.
“Oh god I’m so sorry” Claire said mortified by her unintentional gastric eruption.
“I haven’t eaten for two days,” she said in her defense
All I could do was laugh, which in turn set her off, and once the giggles set in there is nothing to be done.
So I got the takeaway menus and ten minutes later I was ordering an Indian.
We still had the giggles so I opened a bottle of wine and poured two large glasses.
“I can’t have that much” she said when she saw the size of the glass “I’m driving remember”
“I thought you were staying the night,” I said
“Is that ok?” she asked
“Of course it is, so get that down your neck” I replied
While we waited for dinner to arrive Claire made some phone calls, in between the giggles, just to make sure everything was ok at home.
But every time we thought about renewing our amorous intentions we dissolved into giggles again.
By the time the food arrived we were a little bit pissed and after we’d eaten we were too stuffed for passion so we drank some more instead.
So by the time midnight came around we were quite merry and all of a sudden Claire sat upright and said
“I don’t have a change of clothes”
“That’s ok we’re not going anywhere” I reassured her
“But I’ve got no spare knickers” she emphasized
“You could borrow some of Georgie’s,” I suggested
“No that is wrong on so many levels” she chastised
I was just about to make another suggestion where Claire said
“And commando is not an option”
“Nothing could have been further from my mind,” I said innocently
“Nothing is precisely what was on your mind” she corrected me “and me wearing it” and laughed.
After a few minutes of giggles Claire suddenly announced
“I have an overnight bag in my car for when I’m on call”
“Well lets go and get it then” I said
“But what if someone sees me come in here with my overnight bag” she said anxiously
“They won’t” I said and went out into the hall
“Why not?” she asked
“Because we will be in disguise” I replied and handed her a hoody
She stood up and slipped it on and put the hood up.
“What do you think?” Claire asked as she did her catwalk strut.
I looked her up and down from head to toe.
“You look like a professional woman wearing a hoody” I said frankly “Hold on”
I went upstairs and went to the airing cupboard and then the spare room and returned downstairs.
“Change into these” I said and handed her a pair of joggers, a sweatshirt and a pair of trainers.
“Georgia’s?” she asked
“Molly’s” I replied
“That’s ok then” she said and began undressing but then stopped “Some privacy would be nice”
“I won’t look honest” I lied
Claire gave me a look so I got up and went into the hall, where I could have spied through the crack in the door, which I didn’t, well not much.

Ten minutes later we slipped out the back door into the darkness of the garden like we had just accepted a “Mission Impossible” and then ran giggling into the woods that separated the end of the garden from the 18th fairway.
We skulked our way along the wooded path, like a couple of kids playing soldiers, all the way to the Church Lane where we hugged the shrubbery until we reached the surgery car park.
We gave a long furtive look to make sure there was no one around and then we approached Claire’s car.
She fished the keys from her pocket and unlocked it and it responded with a loud bleep made all the louder by the silence and a flash of the light all the brighter in the darkness.
Startled by the sound of the immobilizer we quickly opened the tailgate and Claire grabbed her backpack, then she reset the alarm and we headed back to the lane.
“Oi you” a voice shouted, “What are you doing there?”
“Come on” I urged her and we ran laughing back into the woods periodically looking over our shoulders to see if we were being pursued.
Once we were in the woods we ran on and on until we crashed in a heap in the undergrowth laughing.
“Shhh” she said, “Someone will hear”
But I couldn’t stop giggling so she decided the only way to shut me up was to kiss me, but what began as a means of suppressing my giggles ended with her tongue darting in and out of my mouth like a viper.
So I returned the kiss to her hot panting mouth.
“This is very nice,” she panted as I rummaged inside her hoody and had just managed to uncup her breasts.
So I can’t express how surprised I was when she suddenly leapt up and said
“Oh no you don’t” and ran off down the path.
I scramble to me feet as quickly as possible and ran after and although she had a good head start it didn’t take long for me to close the ground on her and I grabbed hold of her back pack and pull her back.
But her progress was only halted momentarily as she wriggled free of the straps and I ended up sitting on my arse holding the bag.
And to add insult onto injury she flashed her Charlie’s at me and ran off laughing.
“That’s dirty fighting” I called after her and quickly got back to my feet.
But she managed to show me a clean pair of heels all the way back to the house.
“Well that was quite an adventure wasn’t it?” she said as she kicked off her shoes.
“It’s a shame you couldn’t keep up”
“I don’t think you truly appreciated the difficulty in running whilst sporting an erection,” I said somewhat pompously as I slipped my shoes off
“You have an erection?” she asked smiling “let’s have a look”
“You do realise that, like a samurai, if I draw my weapon I have to use it?” I responded
“Ok” she said and stood biting her lip as I dropped my pants and trousers.
Claire studied my hard on intently for a few moments and then said
“I don’t think I’ll bother after all”
“You cheeky cow” I said affronted as she turned on her heels and ran out of the kitchen giggling like a schoolgirl.
I kicked away the pants and trousers that were restricting my ankles and sprinted after her.
And I caught her halfway up the stairs and she screamed as I grabbed her by the waist.
“Got yer,” I said
“I thought you couldn’t run fast with a stiffy,” she said
“Not when it’s unrestricted,” I said as I tugged her clothes down and exposed her gorgeous buttocks and the moist pink gash between them.
I moved my hands up under her hoody and cupped her luscious fruits as my cock plunged into her wetness and she exclaimed a delicious moan of pleasure.
I withdrew and repeated the action and elicited another moan before withdrawing again but this time as my helmet began its penetration to my great surprise Claire scrambled up the stairs.
I reached out to grab her and got a good hold of her joggers but she continued to wriggle away and I was left holding her empty joggers.
Once free of my clutches she scrambled to the top of the stairs with her knickers around her knees, she quickly slipped them off and bent down to retrieve them.
Claire was giggling as she wiped her moist minge with the pink panties and then threw them in my face.
I picked them up and held them to my nose and watched her giggling on the landing.
“You dirty little doctor” I said and began slowly ascending the stairs.
Claire screamed and bolted in to my bedroom as I pulled my hoody off over my head.
She was kneeling naked in the middle of the bed as I walked into the room, my cock having momentarily preceded my entrance.
Claire was licking her lips as I approached, then as I kneelt on the bed she turned her back on me, I thought she was going to make me chase her again but instead she bent over and offered her pink pussy to me and said.
“Come on then Samurai it’s time to use your weapon”
Always willing to oblige I tucked in behind her and slipped comfortably inside her hot cunny.
Claire moaned whorishly with each penetration and I grunted in my turn.
It was not a long drawn out affair as both of us were at a heightened state of horniness due to our adventurous foreplay.
Almost in record time we grunted and moaned our way to a satisfying climax and collapsed in a sweaty heap.

Our encore however was a much more methodical act of passionate expression and mutual satisfaction.


An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 78) Good News Week (Part Two)

After a glorious celebratory shag with Molly in the Kitchen, always a delight to engage with her shaven haven, I only had time for a quick sandwich before driving to High Wycombe to pick up Anne who had been staying with a succession of friends before she had to return to Khartoum.
Courtesy of the SatNav I found the address with ease and after a quick cuppa we were soon on our way.
As I drove I realized it was the same route from High Wycombe I had taken with
Pandora after our St Andrews Day adventure but apart from the obvious trouser tickle I got from the reminiscence of Pandora that weekend.
I was then struck with the realization of how thankful I was that the house would have a visitor again even if it was just for a couple of days.
Anne and I ate together on Wednesday evening and then she enthusiastically reviewed her sojourn and spared no detail in the telling.

On Thursday I spent the morning with Georgia, well for a few hours anyway before she had to get back to work.
But she was a bit down, at first I thought she must have the painters in but she was as horny as hell and I had to shag her in the utility room while Anne was watching Loose Women on TV in the lounge.
It was while she was putting her knickers back on that she told me what the problem was.
“Snipe says the ballroom is booked on the Saturday either side of our anniversary date” she said and started to sob. “She said we could have it if there’s a cancelation, but that’s not likely is it”
The Snipe she was referring to was the commercial manager at the Golf Club Agnes Snipe.
I comforted her the best I could but I couldn’t tell her how, but I knew precisely how to ensure a cancellation and subsequently secure the booking.
Which I thought I might try and accomplish at the weekend while she was away.
“It’ll be ok,” I said

I walked Georgia to work and I made sure that I made eye contact with her boss who smiled knowingly at me.
When I had kissed Georgia goodbye I went in search of Snipe and I found her headed towards her office.
“Hello Agnes” I said
“Oh hello Simon” she replied a little flustered.
“Are you keeping busy?” I asked
“Yes very busy” Snipe replied
“Do you still burn the midnight oil?” I asked her
“Yes I do” she replied with a blush “Especially on a Saturday night”
“I’ll bear that in mind Agnes” I said
Then I walked back across the course on my way to Mahajaks to see Shula as instructed.
I had to admit I was a little intrigued, but when I got to the shop it was obvious to see that Shula and Alois had something to share.
“Simon” she said excitedly and ran towards me.
“Simon” she said again “Alois darling Simon’s here”
“Simon” Alois said as he offered his hand
“We wanted you to be the first to know” Shula said and then danced excitedly on the spot, then after a quick glance at Alois they said together
“We are engaged”
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Aunt Anjuli said
And not for the first time that week I found myself saying
“Congratulations”

When I left the happy group in the shop I walked home and freshened up before driving Anne to the Golf Club where Pandora and Judith had arranged a farewell lunch for her before she flew back to Khartoum on the next day.
When we walked into the club the other guests were already there.
They were all people whom she had come to know as a result of her sister Katy’s illness and passing, the Vicar, Robert Hunter and his faience Tilly, Molly who organized all the nursing care, Pandora, Judith and the practice manager Olivia Adamson.
There was however one notable absentee, Dr Claire Andrews who was not only the clinical lead on Katy’s care but was also her friend.
Once we were all settled at the table and the wine was flowing I asked Olivia where Claire was.
“Something came up” she replied which to me felt very much like a brush off.
I didn’t say anything though I just bided my time and kept her wine glass topped up.
By the time the coffee arrived she was totally bladdered and she dropped her guard.
“So where did you say Claire was?” I asked her casually
“She’s seeing a specialist” she replied
“Really?” I asked “Why?”
“Because of the lump” Olivia answered
“What lump?” I asked her directly
“Oh god I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone” Olivia said and put her head in her hands.
“Everything ok over there?” Pandora asked
“Too much wine” I replied and laughed
“I’ll take her outside for some fresh air”
Once outside I sat her at one of the tables and said sharply
“Now tell me everything”

After Olivier had spilled the beans completely I told her to call me as soon as she knew what was happening.
But just as we were returning to the meal her mobile rang.
She took it out of her bag and looked at the screen.
“It’s Claire,” she said
I nodded to her to answer it, which she did.
When she had finished she put her phone away and too my unasked question she said
“She’s at the breast clinic”
“And?” I asked
“She’s having a scan” Olivia said “She’s seeing the specialist again tomorrow lunchtime for the results”
“Ok” I said and we went back to the table.

The next morning I was up very early so I could drive a very sleepy headed Georgia to Roehampton.
I had risen early in both senses of the term thinking I might start the day by skewering my girlfriend.
But she rebuffed my advances
“I’m too sleepy Simon,” she said
She was going to a gig on Saturday night with her housemates; it was a kind of end of term celebration.
The house was empty when we got there; I took her bags up to her room while Georgia went into the kitchen to make coffee.
I put the cases on her bed and went back downstairs.
As I got to the bottom I called out to her
“I don’t think I’m going to have time for coffee”
“Oh ok” Georgia called from the kitchen “You’d better come and say goodbye then”
“Where are you?” I shouted
“I’m in the kitchen” she called back so I walked down the hall and into the kitchen and found Georgia lying draped across the kitchen table like an erotic buffet completely naked casually teasing a large pink nipple with one hand and fingering herself with the other.
“Do you have enough time for some of this?” she asked
“Always” I replied as I un-trousered my stirring beast.
“I thought you were too sleepy for a shag,” I said
“I’ve woken up now” she replied
“So I can see,” I said as I watched her busy fingers vigorously frigging herself.
And I stood there looking down on her, keenly watching her small fingers, wet with her juice, slipping and sliding her to orgasm as I tugged on my cock.
When she had writhed and wriggled herself to orgasm and then she lustily sucked the tangy grease from her fingers I grabbed her by the knees and dragged her horny carcass towards my waiting cock.
Having pulled her pussy to the edge of the table Georgia’s cunny was presented to me at perfect cock height so I wasted no time at all in spearing her.
“Oh God Simon” She moaned, “That feels so good”
I withdrew but so impatient was she that Georgia wrapped her long legs around me and pulled me back into her.
She moaned loudly and smiled smugly at how clever she had been in making me skewer her again.
Then I gave her another one and her hands gripped the sides of the table to brace herself.
Georgie gave great panting moans with each stroke and her head rolled from side to side as the frenetic pace quickened.
The table legs began to screech on the tiled floor and her knuckles showed white as gripped the table harder with each thrust.
I had to grip the table myself to try and halt its progress across the kitchen floor.
Her chest was heaving up and down as she neared the end and her moans had long since merged into one continuous whorish wail until her face contorted into an orgasmic grimace as her back arched and her whole body shuddered in a climactic crescendo and I lost control and in short pumping spasms I shot.
When I looked down at the sweaty panting wreck I thought the erotic buffet now looked like it had been well and truly enjoyed.
As it most certainly had been and by the time I had put the last length into her pussy the table had moved two feet from its original position.

When we had finally stopped panting she said
“Now you may go about your business” and released me from the grip of her legs and I withdrew from her.
“Cheeky mare” I said and lifted her legs and spanked her arse.
She let out a yelp as my hand slapped a red handprint on her cheek but then she chuckled.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 77) Good News Week (Part One)

After entertaining Emily in an Artistic manner in the courtyard outside the Art Gallery it was after two o’clock when I reached The Bell, and under normal circumstances they wouldn’t let anyone else in at that time but as I was an Angel the doormen all knew me, they let me in.
It was very busy and took me a while to find Tristan but I eventually tracked him down.
He was hidden in a corner and greeted me with a warm smile and a cheer although it was so noisy that I didn’t hear the cheer but I still knew it happened anyway.
We had a beer together and stayed until closing time.
Conversation was difficult in the pub due to a combination of the music and everyone shouting to make themselves heard.
It wasn’t until we emerged on to the street that we had a proper conversation that is to say “a proper conversation” when one party is pissed and the other one isn’t.
He was gushing about the love of his life, Dakota Browning, and how wonderful she was.
“Wait until she shags you” I thought to myself “Then you’ll know how wonderful she is”
“Things are going well then?” I asked
“Oh yes” he said, “I think so”
He then proceeded to give me all the minutiae of their burgeoning relationships.
Despite the very real risk that he might bore me to death I offered to drive him home, but my worst fears weren’t realized as he rewarded me by promptly falling asleep.
When I got back to the village I stopped the car on his driveway and shook him awake.
He got out of the car rather ungainly and took a few unsteady steps to his front door; he fumbled briefly in his pocket for his door key, which he waved at me with a flourish before inserting it into the lock at the third attempt.
When he had the door open he turned and waved before stumbling inside and closing the door.

On Sunday morning I woke annoyingly early and couldn’t get back to sleep so I got up and was greeted by a quiet empty house again.
I made coffee and sat in the kitchen feeling rather lonely and pondered how I was going to fill my day.
Georgie was working all day and I wouldn’t see her until the next day.
As I stared into my coffee cup I heard a familiar voice.
“For goodness sake pull yourself together,” it said, “it’s a good news week”
The voice belonged to Katy Oliver, though she wasn’t really there.
“Ok Katy” I replied and instead of feeling sorry for myself I got up and got myself ready for church.

As I walked to St Lucy’s I tried to think what Katy meant by saying “its a good news week”, but the only thing I could think of was a song from the 1960’s by a one hit wonder group of RAF men, Hedgehoppers Anonymous.
And the reason I was so familiar with it was because it was a favourite of my Dads and it was on one of the tapes he always played in the car.
And the song just went round and around inside my head even during the service.

It's good news week
Someone's dropped a bomb somewhere
Contaminating atmosphere
And blackening the sky

It's good news week
Someone's found a way to give
The rotting dead a will to live
Go on and never die

Have you heard the news
What did it say?
Who's won that race?
What's the weather like today?

It's good news week
Families shake the need for gold
By stimulating birth control
We're wanting less to eat

It's good news week
Doctors finding many ways
Of wrapping brains on metal trays
To keep us from the heat

Now although I wasn’t sure exactly what Katy’s disembodied voice meant, I was pretty sure it wasn’t that.
But with my head stuck in a constant loop of Hedgehoppers I decided there was no point in beating myself up over it.
And the moment I stopped trying to divine the meaning the sound tract stopped and I was able to enjoy the rest of the service in peace.

After the service ended most of the congregation spilled out through the doors and the milled around chatting and spreading the word along with a little gossip.
Which I did in my turn, there were many familiar faces in the crowd and I spoke to most of them in the spring sunshine.
Just as the crowd had visibly thinned and I was about to amble away myself I felt a tug on my arm.
“Simon” the voice said
I turned around to face the source of the voice.
“Hi Tilly” I said
“You can’t go yet,” she said in a hushed whisper.
“Why not?” I asked, “I’m hungry, and I missed breakfast”
“Because you can’t” she insisted “come into the church”
“What for?” I asked as she steered me unceremoniously through the door, smiling and the remaining parishioners as we went.
“What is going on?” I asked again as we reached the transept, where a very green looking Tristan was slouched in the nearest pew.
“Have you kidnapped him as well?”
“Sit down and stop your fussing and wait until Robert gets here,” Tilly said forcefully, so I sat down next to Tristan.
“What’s this about?” I asked him
“Don’t know,” he answered “she just came to the house this morning and dragged me out of my sick bed and forced me to come here”
“You aren’t sick you’re just hung over” Tilly snapped “So stopped whining”
“Harsh” He replied
“Very” I added
Just then we heard Roberts distinctive footsteps coming down the aisle, which turned out to be quite appropriate in light of what we were about to hear.
Robert joined Tilly and stood holding her hand
“Well” he said slowly and deliberately “we have an announcement to make”
Tilly was fidgeting and shuffling her feet as he spoke and it was clear he wasn’t speaking fast enough for her
“We have finalised, at least decided, or perhaps chosen…” he faltered
“We’ve set a date for the wedding” Tilly blurted out
“Great” Tristan said unenthusiastically
“That is good news” I said more sympathetically “and when is it?”
“August the 10th” they said in unison
“Great” Tristan said again
Then Robert cleared his throat and said
“And I want you to be my best man Tristan”
“What?” he queried “Me?”
Robert nodded and Tristan jumped to his feet and shook Roberts hand and then kissed his sister.
“I’ve never been a best man before” he said proudly
“Well done” I said and slapped him on the back.
“And as for you” Tilly said looking at me “I want you to give me away”
“Seriously?” I asked
“Yes” she replied
“Wow” I exclaimed
“Is that a yes?” she asked
“Of course it is you silly woman” I said and kissed her.

Tris and I then headed to the Cross Keys to celebrate, Tilly and Robert declined our offer to wine and dine them as they had other people to give the news to, now that they had spoken to us.
So we had a roast dinner and then got bladdered.
The next thing I knew it was Monday.

About 10.30am I was rudely awakened by a persistent banging on the front door, which was in turn banging inside my head.
I staggered clumsily downstairs and opened the door.
“Good morning sir” a man said brightly
“That’s a matter of opinion” I replied
“Ah well” he exclaimed, “I’ve come to pick up the car”
He nodded in the direction of the hire car and I was just about to hand him the keys when I suddenly remembered.
“I extended the hire until Saturday” I said
“Oh dear” he responded, “I have no record of that”
“I spoke to Amanda” I said “on Friday”
“Oh dear” he repeated, “I’ll give her a call”
I waited at the door feeling quite unwell while he phoned the office and confirmed with Amanda, and then he apologised for disturbing me and I closed the door and was heading back to my bed when the phone rang.
I looked at the caller ID and saw it was Lionel and was going to ignore it but then I thought I should speak to him, as I hadn’t touched base with him for a while.
“Hi Lionel” I said
“Simon dear boy” he replied
Now when Lionel called me dear boy it was either exceptionally good news or I was about to be admonished.
“I have great news,” he continued
Well it transpired that the great news was in relation to the sales of the Overend tapes that had taken off in a big way, due mainly it seems to YouTube on which some clips had gone viral, whatever that means.
There was a tiny note of admonishment before he hung up just pointing out that I was overdue with my submissions to the publisher.
I promised I would rectify the situation that week and then I return to my bed and stayed there until Tuesday.

On Tuesday morning I was up at 5am having slept the clock around and I found myself in a doing mood.
After putting on some washing I got to grips with my Laptop and spent two hours clearing my inbox.
It was at about 10 o’clock when I walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see Frankie in the back garden, she didn’t normally come until Friday, and so I opened the back door.
“Hi Frankie” I called
“Hello Simon” she called back
I walked across the patio towards her and asked
“How come you’re here on a Tuesday?”
“I had to rearrange things,” she said as she put down her rake and walked towards me
“I’m pregnant”
And then she grinned at me quite soppily
“I take it you’re pleased?” I asked “Congratulations”
And I hugged her as Maisie came around the corner
“Oi” she called “you sex maniac, put my partner down”
“Partner?” I asked releasing Frankie
“Yes” Frankie said, “Your gardening needs will now be met by Carpenter and Stewart”
“That’s fantastic news” I said “now it’s your turn for a hug”
When all the hugging was done with and congratulations were gratefully received the girls went back to work and I headed back into the house.
“Oh Simon” Maisie Called “I almost forgot”
“What?” I said and turned around
“Shula wants you to pop into the shop, sooner rather than later,” she said
“Ok”

The rest of Wednesday was spent writing and I was in such a rich vein of creativity that I didn’t stop until midnight.

On Wednesday I got up and emailed my latest output to my publisher Gordon and then had breakfast.
It was just before 10 o’clock when Molly walked through the front door
“Hi cuz” she called
“Hi Moll” I responded, “I’m in the kitchen”
When she walked in the kitchen she was dressed in a dark blue uniform that I hadn’t seen before.
“What’s this then, new uniform?” I asked
“New job” she replied and gave me a twirl “Ward sister at Kiddingstone”
“Well done” I said and hugged her,
Her uniform was all crisp and new and still had that fresh laundered smell.
“Do you have time for Celebration shag?” I asked
“Why do you think I’m here?” she replied and then kissed me
“Where would you like it Sister?” I asked between kisses
“Here will suffice” she replied, “I don’t want to be late for my new job” as she rubbed her mound against the bulge in my jeans.
“Just don’t spaff on my uniform”
Then she returned her attention to my mouth and her tongue darted in and out of my mouth as her hands undid my trousers and before long she was tugging on my cock.
After a moment or two she disengaged her mouth from mine and turned around and bent over resting her elbows on the counter top and wiggled her round arse at me.
Apparently she was ready so I shuffled up behind her like a horny penguin and began tugging her uniform up over her arse, which was naked.
“Where are your drawers?” I asked
“In the car” she replied
“Nuff said” I responded and undid the zip of her uniform
And slipped my hands inside and roughly groped at her tits.
While she rubbed her hind quarters against my cock.
But every time she was about to engulf me I withdrew and teased her until the fourth time when she looked over her shoulder at me as she rested on her elbows and pleaded with her eyes so I grabbed her hips and in one easy movement I penetrated her tight hairless fanny and judging by her vocal response it was very much to her satisfaction.
I took hold of her tits and cupped them as I pounded on her creamy pussy, the sound of her arse cheeks slapping against my belly was like applause and the coarse moans were like encores.
So I pounded on her harder and faster.
The applause grew.
Her vocalizing grew
The electric pace grew
The wobble of her tits grew
Until to rapturous applause and what sounded like baying wolf calls we both came.
And there she was my kissing cousin spent and disgraced bent over my kitchen counter with my twitching cock inside her.