tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10435451014555000032024-03-17T19:59:29.322-07:0072 Miles From The SeaSee more of my writing at http://www.peculiar-poetry.com/Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.comBlogger11759125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-31493314670627283032023-12-08T05:57:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:57:03.825-08:00Uncanny Tales – (099) Heart of Oak<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">It’s 1660 and after the death of the puritan tyrant
Cromwell the monarchy has been restored under Charles the II.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In the south of England, the summer is fading as the
land is hastened into autumn.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Jay’s and squirrels compete in the oak forests for the
acorns both burying them in the rich earth in store for the winter ahead.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“It’s cold, very cold and wet” It said to itself “and
I can’t see anything.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">This went on for some time although how much time it
was unable to say as it had no means by which to measure.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">On some days it was impossible to move as the
penetrating cold held it vice like.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">On others it is awash and almost floating.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Then things felt different it was warmer and it was
changing, and a most peculiar feeling came over it.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">There was a tearing sensation, and it was moving
upwards, and it was getting warmer and warmer.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">All of a sudden it wasn’t dark anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The acorn had burst forth from the rich earth as a
seedling oak.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The seedling felt fantastic and the feelings it was
experiencing were like no others it had ever felt before.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Then came the time to survey its new surroundings it
was in an open space surrounded by huge oak trees one of which had produced the
acorn from which it emerged.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The ground was dappled with golden patches which moved
from place to place.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Beyond the huge oaks were more open spaces and more
mighty oaks as far as it could see.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In the other open spaces, there were more seedlings
also taking in their new situations.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But apart from the trees there were creatures of
various shapes and sizes from small things with lots of legs to large
four-legged creatures and other that flew in the air.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Some creatures actually ate the smaller ones.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The very big creatures occasionally trampled the tiny
seedlings, it was not looking forward to that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">On the whole the seedling thought its new situation
was very nice indeed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">However, it had not yet experienced rain, hail, wind,
fog, frost, and snow. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It’s now 1760 and mad King George III takes to the
throne where he remains for sixty years. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The seedling is now a strong young oak, young and in
it prime and does not fear the trampling beasts of the forest.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Its view is still restricted to the surrounding Oaks
and clearings although he now towers over the latest crop of seedlings.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Some of the once mighty oaks lay broken on the ground
brought down by a combination of age and wind or the weight of snow.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">These are now the habitat of the many legged
creatures.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">1860 and Queen Victoria rules the land and times they
are a changing a revolution is taking place, the industrial revolution and this
revolution is driven by great wood burning machines. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The oak is now middle aged and stout it is now among
the tallest trees in its part of the forest though its view is relatively
unchanged, for now.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The oak has noticed the air tastes different and there
is a sound in the distance that was not there before.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Everything else remains the same the creatures come
and go until one day a new creature arrives it is four legged but only uses two
the oak does not like this creature. it smells different, it smells of death.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The two legged one was the first of many, but they all
had the same smell.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">1960 Queen Elizabeth II is on the throne and again the
land stands on the brink of another revolution this time it’s the sexual
revolution where the world dives headlong into a spiral of depravity. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The oak stands in a small wood he is the largest and
grandest of the trees remaining.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The two-legged ones devoured the old forest for their
machines which drove their revolution and their wars.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">All those many years the oak craved to see beyond the
other oaks and clearings now craved only the old views.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">2005 Queen Elizabeth II still reigns the land, but it
is now a land where the people have learned the value of what nature is are
resolved to protect what they have left and if possible, add to it and are full
of optimism for the future. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Our oak now stands a full 70 feet tall and proudly
looks down upon a new forest, a young forest of seedlings and saplings.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Our oak is old and tired, but it is content that the
forest which it knows it will never see mature knows all the same that mature
it will.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">One day when it has been felled by the wind or the
weight of snow and it becomes the habitat for the many legged ones it will
return to the enrich the earth from whence it came those many years ago.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It may well be that once the Jays and squirrels have
competed for the crop of acorns it will again burst forth from the rich earth
as a seedling oak.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-65504330249145773322023-12-08T05:55:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:55:18.741-08:00Uncanny Tales – (098) Indecent Proposal <p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The Dulcets are a collection of villages and hamlets
comprising of Dulcet Meadow, Dulcet St Mary, Dulcet Green, and
Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of course Dulcet-on-Willow which was a
large sprawling village beside the gentle shallow River Willow, which ran
unhurriedly from the Pepperstock Hills to the more vibrant River Brooke.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Ryan Lansbury was a long-time resident of the village,
and he was popular with many of the other locals because Ryan was young, tall,
dark, and handsome, physically fit, well-toned and had a reputation as a
ladies’ man, which was very well warranted.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He was 28 years old, and his father owned half of the
Dulcets, and he was grooming him to one day take over the reins of his modest
real estate empire, unfortunately for his father Ryan had no interest in the
business as he was primarily interested in crumpet in all its forms. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Obviously, he didn’t restrict his conquests to just
the inhabitants of the Dulcets he also cast his net far and wide as he shagged
everything in sight.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But his father controlled the purse strings, so he was
often restricted to the villages, which he didn’t mind as he actually loved it,
it was a beautiful place, it was quiet and the air was clean and the women were
as attractive, friendly, and willing as any city girl, and there were more than
enough to keep him entertained, both new conquests and frequently flyers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Among the local villagers, lonely widows, desperate
singles, even more desperate divorcees, and the bored house frau’s he was manna
from heaven, and he was very indiscriminate in spreading himself around, but he
made an exception in the case of Goldie Vaghese.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">She was neither a widow, a divorcee, a frequent flyer,
or a local cougar, what she was, was the vicar’s daughter and she was only 17. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Goldie had been trying to get into Ryan’s bed since
the moment she turned 16 but he had resisted her allure.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The reason for that was not that she wasn’t
attractive, she was very, she was a petite blonde, with a beautiful face and
tidy body. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Nor was it her age, he had bedded plenty of 17- and
18-year-olds in his time and would doubtless have a good many more.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">His issue with her was the fact she was the vicar’s
innocent daughter and he thought it would be a step too far, so he kept dodging
her less than subtle advances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He managed to keep her at arm’s length for more than
six months without too much difficulty, but she became bolder and bolder until
one day when he had been for meal at the Pub in the village and walked over to
his car and found Goldie sitting in the passenger seat.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What are you doing here?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I was just passing” she replied.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You have to stop doing this” he said and got into the
driver’s seat.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But when he got in the car, he noticed she was wearing
a pale blue top but was completely naked from the waist down.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Can we go now?” she asked and put her left foot up on
the dashboard.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“For God’s sake Goldie cover yourself up”. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Why, don’t you like what you see?” <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“That’s not the problem” he said, “Someone will see”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Then take me somewhere else” Goldie said coyly.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“How many times do I have to say it, no” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Now cover yourself up and I’ll take you home”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I don’t want to go home” she replied “but you can
“take me”“<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Stop!” he snapped.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Why? What’s wrong with me?” she said angrily.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You have absolutely no morals whatsoever and you shag
anyone and everyone” she retorted “So why not me?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What do you mean?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You don’t need to get defensive; I know you’re
shagging half the women in the Dulcets” she said matter of fact-Ly “and so does
everyone else so don’t bother trying to deny it, I even know who a lot of them
are,”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I think someone has been spreading rumours” he said
defensively.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“If they were only rumours, I wouldn’t be interested
in letting you shag me” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Ryan went to speak but Goldie stopped him by asking.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“So why not me?” she said angrily.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You’re too young” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Rubbish I’m nearly 18 so it’s not illegal”. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“And I’m 28 so it may not be illegal but it’s
certainly immoral” he pointed out.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Why? It’s not as if I’m a virgin” she said, and he looked
shocked.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What? you thought because I’m a Vicars daughter that
I was all virginal and pure?” she scoffed. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Well yes” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Really? Well, I haven’t been a pure Christian maid
since I was 13” she confessed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“So now can we go somewhere and shag?” she asked and <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Ryan replied by starting the engine.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-2894358234873781832023-12-08T05:52:00.001-08:002023-12-08T05:52:52.388-08:00Uncanny Tales – (097) The Call of Duty – They’ve Got Us Surrounded<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Being a man of a certain age, I have always been a
great admirer of the generation ahead of me and there resoluteness in the face
of adversity.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Their resilience and fortitude during the Second World
War when ordinary men and women donned the many and various uniforms of the
armed forces and stood up to be counted.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In the beginning it was a voluntary system, and you
had some level of choice as to what arm of the forces you wanted to go into but
once you chose your preferred service there was no guarantee that you would get
it and once in you had no control as to what you would end up doing.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now obviously some roles were more dangerous than
others but nonetheless I still think they were very brave.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">There wasn’t really a cushy number to be had you were
all in the firing line to some degree.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And it wasn’t just those in military uniform who
risked their lives.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Police, Firemen, ARP, fire watchers, Observers and the
merchant marine were just as brave.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If it were me joining up back, then I’m not sure which
service I would have preferred. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But whatever service you ended up with or the role
within it there were some more hazardous than others.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Some so hazardous that it was like wearing a target
along with the uniform.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The peril that some of them placed themselves under
was truly astonishing and there are a number who deserve special mention, so I
have picked one example from each service and one civilian occupation to
illustrate the courage that was commonplace.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Paratroopers<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Finding a candidate from the Army was quite difficult
as it is such a broad church.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">With many suitable examples to choose from but after
some little thought I settled on the paratroopers who I once heard described as
the “umbrella danglers”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In army strategy one of the cardinal sins is to allow
your forces to become surrounded or cut off from the main body.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I remember reading about an American soldier from one
of their airborne divisions, it was after the Germans had broken through the
Allied lines in the heavily forested Ardennes region of Wallonia in Belgium
which is perhaps better known as the Battle of the Bulge.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The soldier was reporting to his officer on the
situation and said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“The Germans have us surrounded sir”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The officer looked directly at the young soldier and
replied.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“We’re paratrooper’s son, we’re supposed to be
surrounded”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And that kind of sums them up really.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-58133949182482119212023-12-08T05:52:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:52:01.829-08:00Uncanny Tales – (096) The Call of Duty – Above Us the Waves<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Being a man of a certain age, I have always been a
great admirer of the generation ahead of me and there resoluteness in the face
of adversity.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Their resilience and fortitude during the Second World
War when ordinary men and women donned the many and various uniforms of the
armed forces and stood up to be counted.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In the beginning it was a voluntary system, and you
had some level of choice as to what arm of the forces you wanted to go into but
once you chose your preferred service there was no guarantee that you would get
it and once in you had no control as to what you would end up doing.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now obviously some roles were more dangerous than
others but nonetheless I still think they were very brave.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">There wasn’t really a cushy number to be had you were
all in the firing line to some degree.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And it wasn’t just those in military uniform who
risked their lives.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Police, Firemen, ARP, fire watchers, Observers and the
merchant marine were just as brave.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If it were me joining up back, then I’m not sure which
service I would have preferred. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But whatever service you ended up with or the role
within it there were some more hazardous than others.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Some so hazardous that it was like wearing a target
along with the uniform.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The peril that some of them placed themselves under
was truly astonishing and there are a number who deserve special mention, so I
have picked one example from each service and one civilian occupation to
illustrate the courage that was commonplace.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Submariners<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Unlike the other branches my candidate for the Navy
was a no brainer there can be no braver section of the Senior Service than the
Submariners.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Most Navy men devote all their collective effort to
keep their vessel afloat, but the submariners deliberately submerge themselves.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Even sailing in a submerged boat during peacetime was
a dangerous occupation.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But in wartime it was necessary to spent prolonged
periods under water and for that you have to be a special type of person.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">At the dangers were many, Enemy Cruisers spewing depth
charges, Submarine hunting aircraft, strong currents, minefields, and submerged
hazards. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And should any one of those result in damage to the
sub no one was going to come and find you.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-26485037652555613122023-12-08T05:51:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:51:10.270-08:00Uncanny Tales – (095) The Call of Duty - On A Wing and A Prayer<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Being a man of a certain age, I have always been a
great admirer of the generation ahead of me and there resoluteness in the face
of adversity.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Their resilience and fortitude during the Second World
War when ordinary men and women donned the many and various uniforms of the
armed forces and stood up to be counted.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In the beginning it was a voluntary system, and you
had some level of choice as to what arm of the forces you wanted to go into but
once you chose your preferred service there was no guarantee that you would get
it and once in you had no control as to what you would end up doing.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now obviously some roles were more dangerous than
others but nonetheless I still think they were very brave.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">There wasn’t really a cushy number to be had you were
all in the firing line to some degree.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And it wasn’t just those in military uniform who
risked their lives.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Police, Firemen, ARP, fire watchers, Observers and the
merchant marine were just as brave.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If it were me joining up back, then I’m not sure which
service I would have preferred. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But whatever service you ended up with or the role
within it there were some more hazardous than others.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Some so hazardous that it was like wearing a target
along with the uniform.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The peril that some of them placed themselves under
was truly astonishing and there are a number who deserve special mention, so I
have picked one example from each service and one civilian occupation to
illustrate the courage that was commonplace.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Glider Pilots<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Finding a candidate from the air force was quite
difficult as I have always thought that military pilots in wartime were very
brave whether in fighters or bombers, on the attack or in defence and I hold them
in the highest esteem.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But my greatest admiration has to be reserved for the
glider pilots.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">As such you need to be every bit as competent at
flying powered aircraft and a bit more.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">These pilots had to fly into enemy territory normally
at night and land a fully laden aircraft of equipment or soldiers, and land on
a precise spot in the dark or at best half-light.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And if you manage to avoid being shot down on route by
enemy fighters or blown out of the sky by anti-aircraft fire or crash the
glider on impact.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">You then stop being a pilot and become a soldier and
fight with the men you were carrying. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">So, if you were carrying a glider full of Royal Marine
Commandos you had to join them to their objective and fight as a Commando, what
a daunting prospect.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-57784335018655096802023-12-08T05:50:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:50:17.110-08:00Uncanny Tales – (094) The Call of Duty - For Those in Peril on the Sea<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><a name="_Hlk149428017"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Being a man of a
certain age, I have always been a great admirer of the generation ahead of me
and there resoluteness in the face of adversity.</span></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Their
resilience and fortitude during the Second World War when ordinary men and
women donned the many and various uniforms of the armed forces and stood up to
be counted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In
the beginning it was a voluntary system, and you had some level of choice as to
what arm of the forces you wanted to go into but once you chose your preferred
service there was no guarantee that you would get it and once in you had no
control as to what you would end up doing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now
obviously some roles were more dangerous than others but nonetheless I still
think they were very brave.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">There
wasn’t really a cushy number to be had you were all in the firing line to some
degree.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And
it wasn’t just those in military uniform who risked their lives.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Police,
Firemen, ARP, fire watchers, Observers and the merchant marine were just as
brave.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If
it were me joining up back, then I’m not sure which service I would have
preferred. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But
whatever service you ended up with or the role within it there were some more
hazardous than others.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Some
so hazardous that it was like wearing a target along with the uniform.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The
peril that some of them placed themselves under was truly astonishing and there
are a number who deserve special mention, so I have picked one example from
each service and one civilian occupation to illustrate the courage that was
commonplace.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149428017;"></span>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The Merchant Navy<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I was spoilt for choice in the civilian occupation,
the mere fact that you are unarmed and for the most part non-combatants qualify
as brave in war time, but I think my candidates are beyond brave.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If you joined the Royal Navy in wartime, you could
rightly expect to face danger and discomfort no matter what sized vessel you
found yourself in.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Battling with enemy warships, risking submarine attack
or Dive bombing went with the territory.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In short, they were a highly trained body of men
manning state of the art vessels. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I certainly wouldn’t want to diminish the image of the
Senior Service and the life of a Sailor was certainly hazardous enough, but my
admiration is with the Merchant Seaman.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">These men were often ineligible to serve in the armed
forces either because of age of fitness yet they risked their lives on a
regular basis in order to deliver vital materials to our beleaguered island.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The Merchantmen consisted of vessels of every size
some as big as a heavily armed Battleship, physically and literary as big a
target as a warship, but without the means to defend yourself apart from light
antiaircraft defences.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Crossing a vast ocean like the Atlantic in a convoy,
carrying vital supplies for the home front in the foulest of conditions at the
mercy of the elements and the wolf packs of hunting U-boats. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">These were brave men indeed who frequently ran the
gauntlet on our behalf and when they had a ship sunk beneath them there first
thought was to sign on with another ship.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-80428565531157283522023-12-08T05:46:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:46:24.242-08:00Uncanny Tales – (093) Rewriting History One Fact at A Time # 3<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16pt; text-align: left;">If there is one thing that irritates me more than any
other, it has to be historical inaccuracies in film and TV scripts.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now I’m not talking about things like Braveheart or
The Battle of the Bulge or countless other attempts by the Americans to rewrite
history.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">No, the things that irritate me are the little things,
the small easy to verify things, the things that they just can’t be bothered to
do right.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">For example, take the 2006 movie “the Holiday” with
Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jack Black, and Eli Wallach, which. I
particularly liked.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It has all the ingredients required for a great
Christmas film, engaging characters, humour, pathos, romance, cute kids,
and a happy ending, or in this case a multiple happy ending.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">That aside the Grinch in me won’t forgive the
unpardonable sin of a glaring error and a failure to research correctly.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Eli Wallach’s character, Arthur, asks Iris played by
Kate Winslet <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What part of England are you from?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">To which she replies “Surrey”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Cary Grant was from Surrey” Arthur says.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“That’s right he was” Iris confirms.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">No, he bloody wasn’t from Surrey he was from Bristol.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">How did they not get that right, why did they not
check a simple fact like that?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If they wanted to keep the Cary Grant reference, Iris
could have answered Arthur’s question.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What part of England are you from?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">By saying, “Bristol”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Or if they wanted her to be from Surrey, why didn’t
they pick another internationally known actor from Surrey such as Bill Nighy, Colin
Firth, Edward Woodward, Julia Ormond, Julie
Andrews, Laurence Olivier, Peggy Ashcroft, Peter Cushing, or Ronald
Colman.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">How simple would that have been “Laurence Olivier was
from Surrey” Arthur could have said, but no they had to ruin an otherwise
perfectly good film.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-63327795939010494072023-12-08T05:45:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:45:28.659-08:00Uncanny Tales – (092) Rewriting History One Fact at A Time # 2<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">If there is one thing that irritates me more than any
other, it has to be historical inaccuracies in film and TV scripts.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now I’m not talking about things like Braveheart or
The Battle of the Bulge or countless other attempts by the Americans to rewrite
history.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">No, the things that irritate me are the little things,
the small easy to verify things, the things that they just can’t be bothered to
do right.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">For example, in the American hit TV series NCIS there
is a character, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo played by Michael Weatherly, who,
apart from being a special agent also considers himself to be a bit of film buff.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">DiNozzo is constantly either quoting from movies or is
making endless film references to accompany any given situation he is in or
indeed crime scene he is at.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In one episode he is drawing a parallel between his
own situation and that of the characters in the 1938 classic “Angels with Dirty
Faces” with James Cagney, Pat O'Brien and Humphrey Bogart.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And the afore mentioned parallel would have been quite
apt, had he not made a serious faux pas, well I think it was serious.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He referenced to the fact that Rocky Sullivan and
Jerry Connolly grew up as tough kids in Hell's Kitchen, the toughest part of
New York, and their destinies were set when Rocky got sent to reform school and
Jerry escaped the law and went on to becomes a priest.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">So far so good, but where DiNozzo went wrong was to
say that the Father Connolly character was played by Bogey (Humphrey Bogart),
who was in the film, when he was in fact played by Pat O'Brien.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Quite unforgivable when DiNozzo is supposed to be an
aficionado of film.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-36398248477873742542023-12-08T05:44:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:44:42.417-08:00Uncanny Tales – (091) Rewriting History One Fact at A Time # 1<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><a name="_Hlk149427445"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If there is one thing
that irritates me more than any other, it has to be historical inaccuracies in
film and TV scripts.</span></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149427445;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now
I’m not talking about things like Braveheart or The Battle of the Bulge or
countless other attempts by the Americans to rewrite history.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149427445;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">No,
the things that irritate me are the little things, the small easy to verify
things, the things that they just can’t be bothered to do right.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk149427445;"></span>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">For example, there was an American sci-fi series in
the 90’s called “Babylon 5” which I much enjoyed, and if truth be told I liked
it more than the Star Trek equivalent of “Deep Space 9”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">However, in one episode, “Comes the Inquisitor”, there
was a character called Sebastian, who it transpired as the story unfolded was
in reality Jack the Ripper.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">When his true identity came to light during the story
it was announced that in the late 1800’s Jack the Ripper plagued London’s West
End.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">No! No! No! Jack the Ripper did not stalk the theatre
district he was too busy amusing himself killing prostitutes in the East End.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It was a simple mistake that just shouldn’t have
happened, but it did and there really is no excuse for it this day and age when
research is such a simple matter.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I find it difficult to comprehend that such a basic
error made it to the airing.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Surely one of the writing team or production staff or
even one of the cast, would have asked “Are you sure it was the West End?” but
apparently not. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Last Christmas my wife bought me the boxed set and
when we were watching the relevant episode, we both braced ourselves for the
fateful moment and then laughed when we discovered it had been rather
amateurishly dubbed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-60399871055384800642023-12-08T05:42:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:42:53.520-08:00Uncanny Tales – (090) There’s More to Life Than Being Young and Fit<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Now I’ve left middle age behind me in the distance I
occasionally hark back to my youth when I really was as young as I felt, to the
days before my six pack became victim to too many six packs, I suppose my
current physique I have to confess is not so much a six pack but rather more a
party seven.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">(If you don’t know what a party seven is then this
ramble probably doesn’t apply to you).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The thought of my girlfriends of the day with their
firm buttocks, flat stomachs and gravity defying breasts stir my loins with
more than a sense of nostalgia, and part of me wants to return to those
carefree days of youth but I have grave reservations about being a teenager again
or worse being myself amongst teenagers.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Having shared a train carriage with four teenage girls
only a day ago and having endured the incessant and inane jabbering for two
long soul-destroying hours, when they had exhausted their limited vocabulary
within the first 10 minutes, the thought of repetitious teenage pillow talk
fills me with dread.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">How is it that with all the many means of
communication at their disposal they still have nothing meaningful to say?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">There is a lot to be said for being with a woman who
is wrinkle free and supple and of limited sexual experience, carnal knowledge
was so much fun to learn, and all this reminiscing leaves me with a certain
longing.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But the price is too high to pay, it is so much better
being with someone with life experience, someone you can have a proper
conversation with in between the love making or indeed instead of it.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It doesn’t have to be deep and meaningful converse
just a bit more than he said/she said init.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It can be as simple as a common history or shared
knowledge, someone who knows the name of the dragon in Ivor the Engine, or
someone who watched Brief Encounter and didn’t think it was funny.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Someone who remembers being able to play music at the
wrong speed and who remembers having to wait for the black and white TV set to
warm up.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Just someone who understands what you are saying and
doesn’t stare vacantly at you when you mention an event that happened pre-1990.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-1082112131791477552023-12-08T05:41:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:41:53.810-08:00Uncanny Tales – (089) Its Official, I’m An Old Man<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">I was sitting in my car, which was parked in a side
road behind the church where I was waiting for my wife.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It was a “no through road” and its primary function
was as an access road to the shops and its double yellow lines were designed to
deter men from waiting for their wives but at six o’clock in the evening, we
were there in numbers without fear of causing an obstruction.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It was a warm late afternoon/early evening in June and
the bright sun beat down on the car and subsequently we were all sat with our
windows down to benefit from the light breeze.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I was leant back in my seat, eyes closed against the
sun, listening to the world cup chatter on the radio when I heard a car horn.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">This was not an uncommon occurrence, there was always
someone honking for something, I myself was no stranger to the use of the horn,
so I didn’t open my eyes and continued to listen to the radio.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Then came a prolonged blast which did open my eyes and
caused me to turn to see where it was coming from.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I had to crane my neck to see the source of the noise
which was behind me and to the right.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">A woman in a large salon car who was trying to exit a
car park was waving her hand in an exaggerated gesture which I took to mean
“can you move the car back”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I arrived at this interpretation mainly because she
shouted rather forcefully out of her open window.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Move back, move back”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Despite the fact I was not level with the entrance nor
was I blocking it in anyway and had she got her positioning right she would
have made the manoeuvre effortlessly, <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I pointed out to her quite politely that she was only
driving a saloon car and not a tank, but this fell on deaf ears, so she
repeated her demand. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Move back, move back”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I acceded to her request and reversed back out of
harm’s way but as she was making the turn she stopped and shouted to me through
the passenger window.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I was expecting a thank you but instead she shouted in
a voice somewhere between Caroline Langrishe and Margot Ledbetter.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“If I didn’t have my daughter in the car, I would have
something to say to you, you silly old man”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I was so taken aback by the superciliousness of her
comment that I laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">This was not the response she was expecting which
seemed to fluster her and she missed her gear.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Are you not even a little bit embarrassed that you
can’t manoeuvre yourself out of a car park”?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">She eventually managed to find first gear and lurched
forward but then found herself tight up behind the car that was parked in front
of me before I moved.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I couldn’t resist the temptation and leant out of my
window.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Would you like me to ask him to move as well”?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">She reversed back quickly then lurched forward again
only to find she still couldn’t clear the parked car, so she threw it into
reverse again and quickly shot forward.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">To my shame the child in me applauded as did the
driver of the car in front. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Then a jewelled hand appeared from the drivers’ window
and extended a single digit and from the passenger side a smaller hand appeared
and gave a thumbs up.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Then the brake lights came on as she violently braked
sharply, at first, I thought she was going to engage us in some witty repartee
or that she had noticed her daughters’ supportive gesture but no, it was just
that she nearly ran down some poor unsuspecting pedestrian.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The driver of the other car and myself exchanged
knowing looks and I chuckled to myself and was still chuckling when my wife
arrived and got in the car.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-1225937888856458482023-12-08T05:40:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:40:46.751-08:00Uncanny Tales – (088) On the Way to Maybury Hill<p><span style="font-size: 16pt;">As a young man, H.G. Wells had spent an unhappy time
living with an aunt in Horsell which was then close to Woking and is now part
of the overall sprawl.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">So, when he wrote his great science fiction novel, The
War of the Worlds, he had the Martians land on Horsell common, in sight of
where Wells had once lived.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">This enabled him to have that area of Woking become
the first to fall victim to the terrifying invaders weaponry.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In the novel the hero of the tale, having witnessed
the first meteor fall to earth, was pursued by the merciless tripods from the
common and along Maybury hill.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Were the invaders to land today they would have to
negotiate a huge six-way roundabout, dissect a one-way system, a no left turn,
a no right turn, two traffic light junctions, three pelican crossings and two
quite appallingly designed mini roundabouts.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I think faced with the product of 21st century traffic
management and in particular Woking Borough Councils ill-judged town planning,
that the Martians would have given up and returned home long before they were
exposed to the pathogenic bacteria that eventually saw them off.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">The world saved by the ineptitude of local government, what Irony.</span>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-43191456822096860422023-12-08T05:39:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:39:02.484-08:00Uncanny Tales – (087) The Lady Mondergreen<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Everything nowadays has a name every illness, every
condition has a pigeonhole, every hobby or pastime, every job and occupation
and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, after all that is one of the
functions of language.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Names and definitions enable us to know what someone
else is talking about as well as feeding the habit of those interested in
trivia.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I like trivia myself all those interesting facts about
just about anything, the origins of surnames, inventors, adventurers, sporting
events, who did what to who and when.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In fact, my head is absolutely full of useless bits of
trivia from irrelevant facts to complete rubbish I even know the origin of the
word trivia.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">All of which brings us neatly to the purpose of my
rambling, namely that all of us at one time or another have listened to a song
and got it wrong and completely misheard the lyric, sometimes just the first
hearing and sometimes every time you hear it.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I’m sure that everyone has a list of their own that
they can recite but one that always sticks in my mind is from the Queen classic
“Bohemian Rhapsody” the correct line is “spare him his life from this
monstrosity” but I always hear “spare him his life from his Walls sausages”, I
know it makes no sense but that’s what I hear.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I once heard Billy Connolly telling one of his tales
many years ago, which happened when he was working in America, it was about a
little girl in church who instead of singing “Gladly the cross I bare” sang
“Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now I’m sure that you all have far better examples
than the two that I have mentioned.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">All this leads me neatly to the point where I impart
my little piece of boring trivia, a little gem of trivia which just happens to
be the name to describe a misheard lyric, that word being ‘Mondergreen’.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The word “Mondergreen” is derived from an old folk
song that was released on a record in the early 1950’s which contained the line
“They laid him on the green” but this was misheard and was thus misinterpreted
as “The Lady Mondergreen.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now wasn’t that an interesting bit of rubbish.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I would be interested to hear your own examples of
Mondergreens.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-47075781694582245262023-12-08T05:37:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:37:50.163-08:00Uncanny Tales – (086) I Don’t Like Mondays<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Cooper Black", serif; font-size: 14pt;">Journal week ending
23rd May 2008</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In the words of the Boomtown Rats classic song title,
I don’t like Mondays.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now I know I’m not alone in that dislike and I hate
Mondays on several levels, and I know I’m probably not alone in that either.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">There are some Mondays I like more than others such as
any Monday that falls during my holiday leave, providing I’m not at home, and
Bank Holiday Mondays for example are on the whole quite painless and in a week
which boasts a Bank Holiday Monday I don’t like Tuesdays, but I don’t think there
is a song about that.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The reason that I dislike Mondays so much, apart from
the obvious one’s, is that Mondays are our designated refuse collection day in
other words it’s when the bins are emptied.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now I am well aware that the collection of household
waste is an essential part of life, and I certainly wouldn’t want the practise
to stop after all I do pay handsomely for the privilege.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I should point out that I do have an issue with the
manner and means of collections that have been imposed on us.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Which is this, although we do have bins emptied
weekly, we do have to suffer fortnightly collection, so general rubbish is
collected one week and recycling the next and so on.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If you have the same arrangement in your area, then
you know what I mean and if you don’t then you will have firsthand experience
soon enough. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">However, my chief gripe about collection day stems
from a need to get from A to B without hindrance.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">In other words, being able to get about without having
to wait an indeterminate period of time for the dust cart to reach a point
whereby the immeasurable queue of cars can continue their short journey.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">You may think me petty or prone to exaggeration or
both, but this is a reoccurring problem.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It’s bad enough when it happens on a main thoroughfare
but at least they only block on side of the road under those circumstances and
the traffic can still flow albeit in a restricted form.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But when it happens on the access roads to a housing
estate, they block the whole road and make no attempt to find a spot where cars
might be able to pass.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Take this Monday for example I was on my way home
having been to the shops in town and turned onto my estate to find a dust cart
blocking the road. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The road had cars parked down one side with hardly any
spaces to pull in so fearing a protracted wait on this particular stretch of
road I did a u turn back out onto the main road and drove another mile to enter
the estate from the opposite end.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">As I did so my heart sank as I could see 100 yards
ahead another dust cart blocking the only other access road to my destination.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw two other
cars that had made the same discovery as I had.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I drove on as far as I could, about thirty yards from
the obstruction, and tucked into a gap between two parked cars and waited.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I looked down the road at the driverless vehicle with
its busy orange flashing lights which are supposed to warn of some kind of
activity apparently not in this case.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I turned on the radio and amused myself by listening
to Ken Bruce’s “Pop Master” quiz on<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Radio 2, shouting out the answers and berating the contestant when they
got it wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Five minutes passed and nothing changed apart from the
additional cars taking positions in the available gaps behind me.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The second combatant took her turn on the quiz and
just as they were about to choose their bonus subject, I saw activity ahead. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">A man in protective clothing moved towards the truck
and opened the door.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The protective clothing consisted of safety footwear
so they can kick your bins without hurting themselves, a Hi-visibility yellow
coat so we can see them not moving very fast and Gloves to stop them getting
chapped hands in the winter,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He climbed into the cabin after a few moments the
truck started to move slowly in my direction.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">As it did so the driver started making exaggerated
hand and arm movement for which I could give no explanation.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">As he got closer to me, he became even more animated
and then he leant out of his window.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Still unaware of what the problem was but realising he
was looking at me I wound down my window,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You’re in the way” he shouted and pointed beyond my
car “I need to get to those bins”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Now although I find collection day to be a huge
inconvenience, I put up with it, I don’t really have a choice but for him to
start having a go at me rather pissed me off.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What do want me to do about?” I responded.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Where exactly do you expect me to go?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You should have hung back further up the road” He
shouted again.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I didn’t point out to him that if I had stopped
further up the road one of the cars behind me would be parked in the space now
occupied by me instead, I said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“So, I should have to park half a mile up the road
because you’re inconsiderate”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Inconsiderate” He bellowed “Inconsiderate you’re the
inconsiderate one mate”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">I took a deep breath before saying “One of us is
blocking the road and it isn’t me, should I draw you a picture or do you get it
now”?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You’re the one blocking the bloody bins” he retorted
his face a rather unattractive purple which did not go well with his yellow
coat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“God forbid you actually have to wheel the bins an
extra six feet” I replied “Mate”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">At this point a woman stepped off the curb and walked
over to truck and looking up at the funny purple man made some enquiry about
collection times for the coming holiday weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“For god’s sake don’t distract the dustman now we’ll
be here all day” I shouted to her.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The driver bristled visibly at the mention of the word
“dustman” and ignoring the woman he drove slowly off followed by seven cars and
there disgruntled drivers.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Only then could I continue my journey and although I
had missed the end of “Pop Master” I felt I had acquitted myself well and
struck a blow for the common man, figuratively speaking of course as he was
younger and fitter than me and more purple.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-45785425392327118232023-12-08T05:36:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:36:09.262-08:00Uncanny Tales – (085) An Unsuitable Candidate<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">It was a beautiful June evening when Ian Livesey was
sat by the river in the beer garden of the Mulberry Tree in the village of Brocklington,
about six miles downstream of the River Deighton when Angie Faulkner, who
carried a torch for him, joined him at the table.</span><span style="font-size: 16pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Hi Ian” she said, “I’m looking for a date for the
Summer Ball”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You’re leaving it late” he said, “I can’t believe
you’re struggling to find someone”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I was hoping it would be you” she said and smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“That’s a terrible idea” Ian retorted.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Why is it?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I never take a date to the Ball, I always go Stag,
for obvious reasons” he pointed out. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“But you wouldn’t need to pick up a woman if you took
me as your date, and then you could have me” Angie said. “So be my date”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“No” <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Why not?” she asked.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Because I am not dating material” Ian replied.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“But you’re my kind of material” she pleaded “You’ve
always been the one for me”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I am not a suitable candidate for you”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Your perfect to me” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I’m a womanizer Angie”, Ian said “I’m not the
boyfriend type”. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“But I’d be really happy if you were my boyfriend and
wouldn’t care about your infidelity as long as you never touched my sisters, or
my mother.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And then almost as an afterthought she added, “Or my
Aunt Agnes.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Isn’t she the one with the moustache?” he asked, and
she laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Yes, but she has great tits” she pointed out.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Fair Comment” he agreed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Her sisters were six years old so were far too young
to be candidates for his lust, but he hadn’t considered her mother or moustache
Pete for that matter, although her mum was still quite fit, so under the right
circumstance he might. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He was just digesting what she had said when he caught
sight of one of the barmaids, collecting glasses and at that precise moment she
bent over to pick up an empty glass and he could see up her skirt to her
thonged womanhood.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“All I would want is your undivided attention when we
were together” she said and punched him.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Sorry” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“That’s ok, you can look at her nonny” she said, “as
long as when you got an erection, you’d give it to me.” <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Well, I’ll give it to someone” Ian said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Why not me?” she said angrily “Why can’t I be a notch
in your headboard?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Because you’re better than that, you can do better
than that”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“But I want you” she said urgently. “I love you”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You might be happy to put up with my peccadilloes in
the beginning, but a time would come, probably sooner rather than later, when
you wouldn’t be” he said, “And then love will turn to hate”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“But…” she began.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I would just make you unhappy” Ian Said <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Save your love for someone who will cherish it, who
will cherish you”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-88666094781958086982023-12-08T05:35:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:35:04.162-08:00Uncanny Tales – (084) Code Named Epping<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">I had
occasioned this week to visit a close friend in hospital and while there I ran
into another friend, Sheila who I hadn’t seen for about a year, who is a nurse.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">She
was on her way to get a coffee and as I had finished my visit and was on my way
home, she suggested that I joined her so we could catch up.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">So,
half an hour and two cups of coffee later and having filled in the blanks of
the previous twelve months we were joined by Karen, another nurse.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">As we
sat their chatting over another cup of coffee I was intrigued as to why Karen
kept referring to a third party as “Epping” for example “Epping did this” or
“Epping did that”.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Finally,
my curiosity got the better of me and I asked who Epping was and they both
laughed, Karen almost hysterically, then Sheila explained that “Epping” was
what another nursing colleague called Su Monks.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">I
thought for a moment what the reason for calling her Epping might be, aware as
I was that medical staff were famous for putting codes on patient notes such as
NAB which translates to “needs a bath” or PITA “pain in the arse” I tried to
decode Epping, the girls looked at me in amusement as I struggled, I even tried
to find a link between Epping and the girls name but try as I may I could not
translate Epping into anything so I had to ask.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">“Alright
I give in, what does Epping mean”?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">They
both laughed again and then Sheila said, “We call her Epping because she’s just
past Barking.”<o:p></o:p></span></p><br /><p></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-69888915850882112342023-12-08T05:33:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:33:41.095-08:00Uncanny Tales – (083) A Blank Canvas<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">In the southern town of Abbottsford, the biggest in
Downshire, the administrative capital, seat of the Downshire government is the
location of the Abbotsford Regents Hotel, where twice divorced Vicky Wey was
staying, and she had just celebrated her 40th Birthday and as a special
Birthday present to herself she seduced 19-year-old virgin Hotel Employee Jamie
Pullen.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He wasn’t her usual kind of prey, but he was good
looking, physically fit and she could bend him to her will.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">She saw Jamie as a blank canvas for her to paint with
lust, so she lured him to her suite and took him to paradise. <o:p></o:p></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-17102468092000220772023-12-08T05:32:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:32:27.837-08:00Uncanny Tales – (082) Rejecting the Nanny State<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The
town of Shallowfield sat on the southern edge of the Finchbottom Vale and it
had always relied largely upon forestry and agriculture for its prosperity,
sitting as it was sandwiched between fertile farmland and the Dancingdean
Forest.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">This
was reflected in Addison’s Cafe where Forester Paul Dyer was having breakfast
with his farm labourer girlfriend Ellie Dyke.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Paul
had just started tucking into his full English breakfast when Ellie finished
her second bowl of muesli.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">She
had her phone on the table in front of her propped up against the flower vase and
she was reading an article. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Apparently
today is “Eat What You Want Day”” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“That’s
good, because that’s just what I’m doing” he retorted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Yes,
but you do that every day” Ellie pointed out.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Quite
right” he agreed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Shouldn’t
everyone’s day be like that?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I
don’t think it’s about prohibition” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“It’s
more about awareness.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Well,
I’m aware it’s about the Nanny state” he retorted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I
think it’s more about getting people to think about their health and wellbeing”
Ellie said in her best patronizing tone as she patted his hand.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Well,
my health and wellbeing would be served by not trying to make me feel guilty
about food all the sodding time?” he replied and laughed out loud.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I’ll
get you some more toast, shall I?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749982;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Yes
please” he replied with a grin.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-12693754771617634202023-12-08T05:31:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:31:40.153-08:00Uncanny Tales – (081) Anger Management<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Wayne
Evans was up before the Beak at the Magistrates Court in the southern town of
Abbottsford facing public order charges following a road rage incident while
his brother Matt waited outside.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749937;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“How
did you get on?” Matt asked when his brother left the court building and walked
down the steps.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749937;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“A
£400 fine” he replied, “and the judge said I need to go on a bloody anger
management course”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749937;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Well,
that’s not so bad then” Matt replied.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749937;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Anger
bloody management! I ask you” he ranted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749937;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What
you need is a good woman in your life” Matt suggested.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749937;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“As
a calming influence”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749937;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Are
you mad?” Wayne exploded.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749937;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“It’s
having a bloody woman in my life that got me so angry in the first place.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-18193430293657904712023-12-08T05:29:00.001-08:002023-12-08T05:29:51.875-08:00Uncanny Tales – (080) Traffic Exclamation<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><a name="_Hlk99533433"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">On the west side of Downshire is Eastchapel. a quiet
medieval village living in the shadow of its noisy neighbour, the Industrial
powerhouse of Northchapel and </span></a><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Lily
Rayner was driving his six-year-old daughter Kasia to School, which was on the
other side of the village, when the traffic slowed to a crawl because of a
cyclist before it came to a complete standstill.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749893;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I
think we’re going to be late sweetie” she said and Kasia tutted audibly and
retorted. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749893;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Bloody
traffic”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749893;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Kasia,
has Uncle Ray been dropping you at school?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749893;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Yes
mummy” she replied and giggled.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-11349451601264108772023-12-08T05:29:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:29:02.655-08:00Uncanny Tales – (079) Calming Rage<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">On
the west side of Downshire is Eastchapel. a quiet medieval village living in
the shadow of its noisy neighbour, the Industrial powerhouse of Northchapel and
William Rayner was driving his fourteen-year-old son Liam to School, which was
on the other side of the village, when the traffic slowed to a crawl because of
a cyclist so he turned the radio on which was tuned to Classic FM.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749834;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Why
do you listen to classical music dad when you’re driving?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749834;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Because
it helps me with the stress of driving, it keeps me calm” he replied as he
wound the window down.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749834;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Get
out of the fucking road you Lycra clad twat!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-57911629396383979312023-12-08T05:27:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:27:40.990-08:00Uncanny Tales – (078) The Ultimatum<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The
Dulcets are a collection of villages and hamlets comprising of Dulcet Meadow,
Dulcet-on-Willow, Dulcet Green, and Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of
course Dulcet St Mary which where Amelia Allford and her boyfriend Steve Moore</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">were
sat in his lounge and had greedily dispatched their Chinese takeaway and were
cuddled up on the sofa, halfway through the credits of a Sandra Bullock movie
called “The Lake House,” he definitely would, by the way, when Amelia suddenly
said. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Do
you remember a few months ago when I said I didn’t mind you shagging other
women?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Yes”
He said cautiously “but…”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“And
I know you still are so don’t bother trying to deny it” she said sternly, and
he went to speak but she stopped him with a look.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I
don’t know who, though I have my suspicions,” she said flatly. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“And
I don’t think I want to know but I know you’re sleeping with other women” she
paused.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“And
as I said last time I don’t mind.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">She
paused again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“For
now, but there will come a time in the not-too-distant future when I will.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I
love you and I’m certain sure of that, and I know you say you love me but I’m
not so sure of that.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“But
I do love you” he said taking her hand.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“But
you don’t love me as completely as I love you” she retorted taking her hand
away “you are enough for me, but clearly, I’m not enough for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He
tried to speak again but again she stopped him, so he got up and paced the
room.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“So,
you have until February to sow your wild oats or to curb your appetites or
whatever it is you do.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“But
by my 21st birthday I need to feel your commitment”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Steve
went to speak.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“And
no that’s not a euphemism” she said without humour “you need to want me and me
alone.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“And
that’s all I have to say” she said, he was cleared to speak now but he didn’t
know what to say he wanted to say don’t be silly you’re the only one for me,
but he knew he was a dog. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Steve
knew that he was getting plenty, and he was liking that, but if he wanted to
keep the girl, he loved it was obvious he would have to change.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Is
that why you don’t use the door key?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Amelia
was on her knees removing the DVD and Steve perched on the arm of the sofa just
watching her almost in a daze.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Yes”
she replied without turning around.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Because…”
she began but couldn’t finish.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“You
don’t want to catch me with another woman” he said finishing her sentence and
she carried on what she was doing slowly and deliberately.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Steve
was a little shocked, firstly because and it never occurred to him for a moment
that he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too, and secondly although he knew he
loved Amelia more than he had ever loved anyone he didn’t realise quite how
much that was until that moment when he realised, he could lose her.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The
prospect of losing her stunned him and he knew he had to make changes in his
life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Amelia
finished putting the DVD in its box and switched off the TV. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Don’t
look so glum” she said as she stood up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I’m
not giving up on you yet.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“We’ve
dealt with the serious bit,” she said slipping off her cardigan. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Now
we get to do the fun stuff.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749791;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">And
she walked towards him unbuttoning her blouse as she did so until by the time,
she was stood in front of him her pert unfettered breasts were in his face.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-37935027973495223952023-12-08T05:26:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:26:57.549-08:00Uncanny Tales – (077) Conditional Lust<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><a name="_Hlk146824538"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The Dulcets are a collection of villages and
hamlets comprising of Dulcet Meadow, Dulcet-on-Willow, Dulcet Green, and
Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of course Dulcet St Mary which where
Amelia Allford and her boyfriend Steve Moore</span></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk146824538;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">were sat in the Cross Key’s beer garden
discussing the previous week and Amelia raised an eyebrow when he told her
about the meeting with a proper cougar in a hotel.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p>
<span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk146824538;"></span>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Well,
that’s just the perfect scenario for a lothario” she said tongue in cheek.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What
do you mean a lothario?” he protested.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“It’s
alright I don’t mind you shagging other women” she said, and it was his turn to
raise an eyebrow.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I
know you do, so don’t bother trying to deny it” she said sternly.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I
don’t know who they are, and I don’t need to know who they are,”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He
went to speak but she stopped him with a look.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“However,
I have the following conditions, first you never touch my sisters” she said
before adding.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Or
my mother”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Her
sisters were far too young to be candidates for his lust, but he hadn’t
considered her mother, and she was still an attractive woman.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“And
as long as when you’re with me I have your undivided attention” she continued.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Can
I look at other women when were together?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Yes”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“And
can I have lustful thoughts about them?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Only
if I get the benefit of any resulting erection” she replied, and he was just
digesting what she had said when he caught sight of the barmaid Molly collecting
glasses and at that precise moment, she bent over to pick up an empty glass and
flashed her thonged nether’s to all the customers in the garden.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“So,
if the sight of Molly’s knickers wakes up the one-eyed beast, I get to tame
it.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749726;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Well,
that seems clear enough” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-1999386859698726002023-12-08T05:25:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:25:36.053-08:00Uncanny Tales – (076) A Roving Eye<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The
Dulcets are a collection of villages and hamlets comprising of Dulcet Meadow,
Dulcet-on-Willow, Dulcet Green and Dulcet-on-Brooke, to name but a few, and of
course Dulcet St Mary which where Amelia Allford and her boyfriend Steve Moore
were sat in the Cross Key’s beer garden discussing the previous week and Amelia
raised an eyebrow when he told her about the a meeting with a proper cougar in
a Hotel, and his phone buzzed, he picked it up and saw that he had a voice
mail, he selected listen now.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749673;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Hi
Steve, Kelly here, I just wanted to touch base with you, I thought it was a
very fruitful meeting yesterday and I feel it might be mutually beneficial if
we were to meet again, soon. Call me on...”<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749673;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I
don’t think so” he said and deleted it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749673;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Who
was that”? Amelia asked.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749673;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“It’s
just one of those “Have you been miss sold PPI? We can help” calls.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1043545101455500003.post-62696936560552626882023-12-08T05:23:00.000-08:002023-12-08T05:24:45.584-08:00Uncanny Tales – (075) Consolation<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">It
was 1.30pm when Gary woke up and decided to take himself into the bathroom and
have a shower and he had just finished drying off when the doorbell rang.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He
slipped on his robe and made his way downstairs and the doorbell rang again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“Ok
I’m coming” Gary called.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He
got to the front door as quickly as possible and on opening it he discovered
Evelyn standing the other side of it in tears.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“What’s
happened?” he asked as he pulled her into the house.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He
quickly closed the door, and she immediately threw herself into his arms.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">It
was some minutes before she had composed herself sufficiently to be able to
speak. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I’ve
just come from the hospital,” she sobbed and then broke down again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">So,
he chivalrously stepped into action, offering himself up to comfort her with
arms open wide.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">“I’m
sorry” Evelyn said gratefully accepting his open arms and burying her
tearstained face in his neck.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">He
made encouraging noises and stroked her back, but being a shoulder to cry on
was the full extent of his expertise.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">They
held that position for some time until Evelyn’s sobs began to get shallower and
shallower and eventually abated.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">But
still she held on to him tightly and began to nuzzle his neck and he could feel
her breath on his skin, and while still nuzzling his neck her hands began to
caress up and down his back and her nuzzles turned to kisses.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk147749620;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">So,
it appeared the Gary could do more than offer a shoulder to cry on as he ended
up consoling her on the sofa, before consoling her some more later in his bed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Biggushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10078819379104547843noreply@blogger.com0