21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 383
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
When he got a telephone call
“Hump Me Dumpty” Bo said
And he fainted and fell off the wall
FAIRY TALE’S RESPUN # 9
New mattresses were ordered
For the bed of Princess Kayleigh
As they were changing the beds
For The Princess And The Pee
I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 4
I went into hospital for minor surgery
And the surgeon thought he was a riot
He held up the x-ray and said “Wait a minute,
If this is his spleen, then what the hell is that?”
THE LORD AND GENTLEMAN OF THE HOUSE
The Lord and gentleman of the house
Eloped with the under cook, Elaine
But his wife was quite sanguine, because
She could have the maid to herself again
CHEMISTS AND ALCHEMISTS
Chemists and alchemists
Are both of feminine gender
Because one is a Charlotte Ann
And the other is an Ann Eliza
LIFE IS A FOUR LETTER WORD
Life is short, a four letter word
It’s quite absurd, and here’s why
It’s because half of it is just an 'if
And three quarters of it is a 'lie'
LIP-SALVE
Lip-salve is a very useful product
But it’s not a good chaperon, in anyway
Even though it lives up to its boast
Of always keeping the chaps away
FOR MANY YEARS HE HADN’T DONE MUCH
For many years he hadn’t done much
In the way of work at all
Not that he was physically incapable
He just worked at county hall
IT WILL NORMALLY INVOKE A SENSE OF SHAME
It will normally invoke a sense of shame
When a young lady to loses her good name
However her position is not an untenable one
When a young man gives her a better one
NICOLA STURGEON, THE SCOTTISH FIRST MINISTER
Nicola Sturgeon, the Scottish First Minister
Says she want’s independence from Westminster
But it’s illogical, she’s just flexing her muscles
As Scotland will become dependent on Brussels
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