A Little Bit Of Humour # 120

WHY DID THE ADULTERER CROSS THE ROAD?

Why did the adulterer cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was so he could get to another man’s bride

BONSAI GRANDAD

My grandfather became such
A successful bonsai grower
He had to move to a house
Where the garden was smaller

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 370

Diddledy, diddledy, dumpty
The cat ran up the plum-tree
But then so would you chum
If they were after your plums

THE PLURAL OF MOUSE

So if it is correct that
The plural of mouse is mice
Then why is the plural of house
Houses and not hice

IT IS A SAD FACT OF LIFE THAT IF # 3

It is a sad fact of life that if
Times are going well
You have overlooked something
And it will all go to hell

IF LAWYERS CAN BE DISBARRED # 2

If Lawyers can be disbarred
Can dustmen be well disposed?
Or can tour guides be detoured
And must models be deposed?

MY SON JOKES ABOUT MY AGE # 2

My son jokes about my age
He is always making light
He says when I was a boy
Rainbows were black and white

DR. PEPPER IS A DR.

Dr. Pepper is a Dr.
But that’s the twist
But what kind,
I guess he’s a fizzicist

A YOUNG MAN GOT MUGGED

A young man got mugged
By a magician last year
He took a wallet, a watch,
And the coin from behind his ear

THE AIRPLANE WAS INVENTED

The Airplane was invented
By an optimist
While the parachute was
Invented by a pessimist

I HAVE A PHOBIA ABOUT FLYING

I have a phobia about flying
And I won’t fly Virgin, no way
After all why use an airline
That doesn’t go all the way?

YOU SHOULD NEVER GET BACK

You should never get back
Together with an old flame
It’s like having a garage sale
And buying your stuff back again

NEW EVIDENCE INDICATES THAT WOMEN

New evidence indicates that women
Who carry a little extra weight
Will live considerably longer
Than the men who mention it mate

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SUBSTITUTION

There is absolutely no substitution
Or for that matter an easy solution
For a genuine lack of preparation

FRIEND’S FIRST, THEN SOUL MATES # 1

Friend’s first, then soul mates
Then we spoke of wedlock
Now are souls are intertwined
Since we joined in holy padlock