WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 4
We went to Spain on Holiday
But we didn’t like it a bit
The local supermarket
Didn’t even sell a proper biscuit
WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 4
When we were on holiday
We went swimming in the sea
No-one said there would be fish
The kids found it very scary
DILF IS AN ACRONYM
DILF is an acronym for
“Dad I’d like to fuck”
I got one that says
“Who’s the daddy”, just my luck
WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
What is an Australian kiss?
Do you ever wonder?
Well it’s the same as a French kiss,
Only it’s down under.
THE PAPILLION AFFAIR
My friends happened to mention that
They didn’t particularly like butterflies
And my parents lost it completely,
Not caring for wherefores or whys
My friends became persona non grata
Treated as if they were evil Visigoths
It wasn’t as if they harmed butterflies
They just thought them arrogant Moths
THE BIG SALE STARTS TODAY
The big sale starts today,
30% Reduction Friday
Which comes the day after
50% increase Thursday
TURN ON COUNTDOWN
Last night I was watching Countdown
And Rachel Riley in a colourful gown
When I told my wife, where I am housed
That when watching Rachel I got Aroused
I could tell that I had let down my guard
Her instant response was to slap me, hard
She slapped me unconscious how absurd
And all I did was get a seven-letter word
POSTMAN LOSES SACK
“Postman loses sack”
The crossword-er said
How many letters?
A listener wondered
The former replied
About 500
THE HEAD OF GLOBAL SALES
The head of global sales
Bought a new kitten today
And when he took it home
He took it to the litter tray
And then he said “let’s not
Think outside the box, ok”
THE ONLY GOOD THING
The only good thing
About the end of Wimbledon
Is it means you’re two weeks
Closer to football season
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