A Little Bit Of Humour # 90

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 364

King and Queen of Cantelon,
How many miles to Babylon?
Well that would depend upon
Where you are starting from

ARE YOU WEARING A SHELL SUIT?

Are you wearing a shell suit?
Well don’t you just look cute
But I know where you are heading
And it’s not suitable for a wedding

EIGHT OUT OF TEN INNER CITY MALES

Eight out of ten inner city males
Have had sex in the shower, they admit
However the other twenty percent
It would seem haven't been to prison yet

BUSINESS CONVENTIONS ARE IMPORTANT

Business conventions are important
They demonstrate without a doubt
Exactly how many employees that
A company can operate without

YOU HAVE THIRTY PAIRS

You have thirty pairs
Of shoes, more or less
And standing in the room
In obvious distress
Won’t make me choose
No matter how much you press
The appropriate pair
To go with that dress

MY WIFE AND I ARE SEPARATED

My wife and I are separated
And the reason why we parted
She started all conversations
After the programs had started

NUMBERS OF TORTOISES AND TERRAPINS

Numbers of Tortoises and Terrapins
In the wild are falling faster and faster
Biologists and Environmentalists
Are all predicting a Turtle disaster

THE RECRUITMENT CONSULTANT ASKED ME

The recruitment consultant asked me
“What do you think of voluntary work”?
“To be honest with you I wouldn't do it
If you paid me” I replied with a smirk

NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS YOUR WAY

No matter what life throws your way
The future is the cure for all sorrow
And nicest thing about the future is
That it will always start tomorrow

THE POLICE ARE BEING ISSUED WITH PENCILS

The police are being issued with pencils and
Very thin sheets of paper, all very low tech
It’s a new initiative being rolled out so that
When crimes occur they can trace a suspect

THE BLIZZARD OF OZ

The Blizzard of Oz
Continued to blow
Until the yellow brick road
Was covered in snow

MY DOCTOR IS A LOCUM

My doctor is a Locum
Who replaced Dr Slocombe
And all I get is Hokum
With a sprinkling of bunkum
But I have my heath so Ho hum