21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 358
Hey diddle diddle
Someone’s on the fiddle
It will probably be
Another celebrity
Not paying their tax
WE LEARNED ABOUT FOOD GROUPS TODAY AT SCHOOL
We learned about food groups today at school
Confections, vegetables, meat and protein
Dairy, fruits, grains, pulses and legumes
But what about Alcohol, Nicotine and Caffeine
ARE YOU WEARING ANY?
Are you wearing any?
Beneath your tartan gear
Because if your kilt flares up
There will be a raucous cheer
IF YOUR BLIND DATE IS DESCRIBED TO YOU # 6
If your blind date is described to you
As “a free spirit” you may fancy a frolic
But it will be far worse than it sounds
They’re either a drug addict or an alcoholic
LIFE’S VEXATIONS # 4
Is there anything more annoying?
Than when checking your tyre pressure
And you're trying to get a reading
Your pressure gauge lets out half the air
FOGHORN LEGHORN DIDN’T LIKE TO GO OUT
Foghorn Leghorn didn’t like to go out
It made his heartbeat quicken
So he wouldn’t even cross the road
Because he was a chicken
OVER CHRISTMAS THE AMBULANCE SERVICE
Over Christmas the ambulance service
Were “super busy”, meaning it was hectic
I’ve never heard that unit of measurement
So I’m not sure if it’s imperial or metric
WHEN WILLIAM JOINED THE ARMY
When William joined the army
He struggled with some of the drill
But the thing he hated the most
Was when they said “fire at will”
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS
When life gives you lemons
Making lemonade is the trick
When life gives you melons
You’re probably dyslexic
WHEN I GO AND PLAY GOLF
When I go and play golf, there
Is something I’ve always done
I take a second pair of Trousers
Just in case I get a hole in one
HERE IS AN INTERESTING FACT
Here is an interesting fact
Which should come as no surprise
The inventor of the humble
Door knocker won the No-bell prize
POETRY CAN BE VERY ROMANTIC
Poetry can be very romantic
But it doesn’t work for all
And it doesn’t really count if
You write it on a toilet wall
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