ON HOLIDAY IN THE WEST COUNTRY
On holiday in the West Country,
During a recreational pursuit
I discovered that Plymouth Hoe
Was not a Devonian Prostitute
PLAYING "LA CUCARACHA"
Playing "La Cucaracha"
I hear the chimes call
Come get our hot food
Come one and come all
It’s the cockroach song
Is no one concerned at all?
IT’S YOUR OWN TIME YOU’RE WASTING
“It’s your own time you’re wasting”
But no one listens to the teacher
So when option time came around
I went and signed up for media
IN THE CORRIDORS AT MY SCHOOL
In the corridors at my school
We were allowed to run
There was a simple explanation,
We didn’t have a gymnasium
SOMETHING HAPPENED AT SCHOOL TODAY
Something happened at school today
Which has shaken us up a bit
We had an issue with the register
As two of our teachers were on it
I CAN SAY FROM EXPERIENCE
I can say from experience
Marriage is in no way like prison
And the reason I say that
Is you get far more sex in prison
DON’T EAT ANYTHING FATTY
My doctor said to me
Don’t eat anything fatty
What he meant by that was
Don’t eat anything, fatty
MY DAD THINKS HE’S A CHOCOLATE ORANGE
My dad thinks he’s a chocolate orange
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned
And we have come to the decision
That we should have him sectioned
IF YOU WANT TO SCORE AT SCHOOL
If you want to score at school
Then the person to see
To fulfil all your needs
Is the supply teacher obviously
HAVE YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT?
Have you had an accident?
That you have not recovered from
And has changed your life?
Well next time use a condom
MARRIED FOR TWELVE YEARS
When I said I’d been married for twelve years
My best mate laughed himself in to tears
“You’d have got less for murder” He said flat
“No I wouldn’t” I said “I already thought of that”
No comments:
Post a Comment