A Little Bit Of Humour # 70

ARE YOU WEARING A PARTY HAT?

Are you wearing a party hat?
As it’s a Thanksgiving hat
And the family is all together
I will give thanks for that

I HAVE A VERY POLITE DOCTOR

I have a very polite doctor,
Nice to the point of folly
He won’t tell me I’m obese
He says I’m morbidly jolly

WHEN THE WINE BOX IS EMPTY

When the wine box is empty
I am one of the thorough types
I rip open the cardboard
To reveal the Pinots tripe’s
And squeeze it dry as I play
The alcoholics bagpipes

I LIVE IN A SMALL WINDMILL

I live in a small windmill
I’ve never lived in one before
It’s in a little seaside town
On the promenade by the shore
It’s nice, apart from the golf balls
That keep coming thru the door

WE HAVE A NEW MARKET IN TOWN

We have a new market in town
And they do Korean street food
One customer ordered poodle noodles
Which I thought was quite rude

THERE WOULD BE MORE RESERVES

There would be more reserves
Remaining in the North Sea
If the Scots didn’t have
Such a deep frying tendency

WHEN I SAW MR MESSI PLAY

When I saw Mr Messi play
I was disappointed I must say
I had to take a second look
But he was nothing like in the book

EVERY WEEKEND IN ESSEX-LAND

Every weekend in Essex-land
Daddies precious little petal
Gets off her tits and tanked up
On gallons of Princess Petrol

WINE BOXES AREN’T FOR THE SNOBS

Wine boxes aren’t for the snobs
But what makes them unwhackable
Is unlike the odd shaped bottles
All the Wine boxes are stackable

I NEVER THOUGHT THE DAY WOULD COME

I never thought the day would come
In fact I would have thought it absurd
When the Football sense of “Brazilian”
Wasn’t the most popular use of the word

THE EBOLA CRISIS IS CAUSING CONCERN

The Ebola crisis is causing concern
And is causing the Americans to fret
And what the people want to know
Is why aren’t their troops there yet