Tuesday 8 July 2014

A Little Bit Of Humour # 66

I DON’T THINK OF YOU AS OLD

I don’t think of you as old
And what I say to everybody
Is you're just a young girl
Trapped in an old ladies body

YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL

You should be more careful
I’ve told you before
Sitting in candlelight
Makes you look like Skeletor

LIFE BEGINS AT 40 # 2

Don’t be scared of being Forty
Meet the milestone with defiance
You’re no really forty, but eighteen
With twenty two years of experience!

THE PROBLEM WITH LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE

The problem with lying about your age
It’s not the deception you deplore
It’s when they all believe you and
You regret not knocking off some more

THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 2

At the age of fifty you're officially
Over the hill, but worse than that
You are partway down the other side
Sorry if that leaves you flat

THE BIG FIVE ZERO # 3

Happy fiftieth birthday
I’m sorry but it has to be said
If they were dog years
You’d already be dead

WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS A BIT OF A LAD

When I was young I was a bit of a lad
But now life has caught up with me
It used to be wine, women and song
Now it's beer, the old lady and TV

WHY IS IT WHEN TWO PEOPLE MARRY?

Why is it when two people marry?
It is predestined for him
To never remember birthdays
And for her to never forget them

THE BEST YEARS OF A WOMAN'S LIFE

The best years of a woman's life
Are the ones she feels naughty
And it’s those ten special years
Between thirty nine and forty

MILESTONE 60 # 3

I know it’s a big one
But remember this please
Age really isn't important
Unless you are cheese

I’M QUITE A PHILOSOPHICAL PERSON

I’m quite a philosophical person
So I don’t get phased and accept what life gives
So I think Birthdays are good for you;
Because the more you have the longer you live

DON’T FRET ABOUT GETTING OLD

Don’t fret about getting old
Be philosophical instead
Age is really just a number
Old is only in your head

I GOT A DUAL PURPOSE BIRTHDAY CARD

I got a dual purpose birthday card
The intention was well meant
For a person of your advancing years
With its very high fibre content

WELL YOU’VE REACHED AN AGE

Well you’ve reached an age
So have a happy birthday
So now really spoil yourself
And take two naps today

THINK ABOUT GLOBAL WARNING

Think about global warning
When you look at your cake
Lighting all those candles
Would be a very big mistake

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