ARE YOU WEARING A MAGICIAN’S HAT?
Are you wearing a magician’s hat?
Are you in the magic circle sphere?
But I have been wondering why
You made your clothes disappear
ARE YOU WEARING DANCING PUMPS?
Are you wearing dancing pumps?
Just like the great Darcy Bussle
But with your unusual body shape
Take care you don’t pull a muscle
ARE YOU WEARING A CORSAGE? # 2
Are you wearing a corsage?
On your elegant wrist
As you stand in the moonlight
And are sweetly kissed
ARE YOU WEARING AN ORCHID?
Are you wearing an orchid?
What a beautiful creation
Almost as beautiful as you
I would say without hesitation
ARE YOU WEARING A ROSEBUD?
Are you wearing a rosebud?
All delicate and pink
You’re allergic to flowers?
In which case I think
A wardrobe malfunction
Has revealed something pink
ARE YOU WEARING A BALL GOWN?
Are you wearing a ball gown?
And its a designer one too
Well you’re a bit over dressed
For feeding time at the zoo
ARE YOU WEARING PATENT LEATHER SHOES?
Are you wearing patent leather shoes?
Do I think they suit you? In truth no
As you’re a thirty four stone woman
Who is never going to look like Poirot
ARE YOU WEARING FISHNETS?
Are you wearing fishnets?
I’m glad they’re back in vogue
It’s the simple things in life
That appeal to this old rogue
ARE YOU WEARING A BABY DOLL DRESS?
Are you wearing a baby doll dress?
Well I don’t want to cause any distress
But are you sure that look is alright
When you’ve got that much cellulite
ARE YOU WEARING PATENT LEATHER?
Are you wearing patent leather?
Well at least it will never weather
But I would have to say honesty
On you it looks like PVC
ARE YOU WEARING FALSE PAINTED TOE NAILS?
Are you wearing false painted toe nails?
No I don’t think that they look sweet
And I think it’s a waste of money
Simple because you have Shrek feet
ARE YOU WEARING SEXY GARB?
Are you wearing sexy garb?
Well bless your heart I’m glad
But you wasted your time
Trying to look sexy is mad
You were sexy already, there
Was nothing you had to add
ARE YOU WEARING SEDUCTIVE GARB?
Are you wearing seductive garb?
Well I have to admire you style
But in order to seduce me
You need only wear a smile
ARE YOU WEARING PROVOCATIVE GARB?
Are you wearing provocative garb?
Well you might well cause some disquiet
But you are not really achieving you aim
But you might well provoke a riot
ARE YOU WEARING SEXUAL GARB?
Are you wearing sexual garb?
Well I can only offer you this barb
Wearing a codpiece and a condom
Is not going to turn anyone on
ARE YOU WEARING SLUTTY GARB?
Are you wearing slutty garb?
And are you trying to talk smut
Well I admire your endeavour, but
You’re wearing too much for a slut