HIS LATE GRACE
When my uncle
Passed away last night
He was given
The last rites
By a Bishop, who
Missed it very nearly
As he could only
Move diagonally
MATHS PROBLEMS
The American’s must
Suffer from innumeracy
As they only have one math
As far as I can see
MY BROTHER TEACHES
My brother teaches
Year nine history
Which in itself
Is a bit of a mystery
As there are more
Interesting years surely
SUPER HEROES COME
Super heroes come
In all shapes and forms
Which is fair enough
But what kind of hero
Is Iron Man,
Ironing isn’t even tough
I TOLD PEOPLE THAT MY UNCLE
I told people that my uncle
Worked for the United Nations
And it was an illusion I enjoyed
That was not strictly the truth
But it was close enough
After all he was UNemployed
I SIGNED UP FOR BOTANY
When I was at school
I signed up for Botany
I thought any class about “bots”
Is the one for me
FESTIVAL TOILETS
At the festival toilets
There was a bit of a queue
Which got a bit out of hand
To my view
But we all survived
The Battle of Portaloo
MY UNCLE MICHAEL
My Uncle Michael
Was a schizophrenic
But he was good people
Was Uncle Mick
I LOST MY BOOMERANG
I lost my boomerang
I can’t remember where or how
Oh wait a minute
It’s coming back to me now
MY POOR UNCLE TURNED TO CRIME
My poor uncle turned to crime
Him and an incompetent friend
They got caught with a shotgun
And he sawed off the wrong end
WHITE SHOES
Stiletto healed white shoes
Being worn out to a party
Well in my personal view
They make you look tarty
RED SKY IN THE MORNING
Red sky in the morning
As the day is dawning
Is a sailors warning they say
But really it’s just another day
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