WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 2
When my girlfriend suggested
We play hospitals
I thought phwor
But she gave me an enema
And now I don’t want
To play anymore
ARE YOU WEARING A SPACESUIT?
Are you wearing a spacesuit?
Good that makes two of us
Because I'm an astronaut and
My mission is to explore Uranus
I’M THINKING ABOUT TAKING A HOLIDAY # 2
I’m thinking about taking a holiday
But I don’t know where to go
I would like to go to Conclusions
But you have to jump there, so
As I can’t do much physical activity
I would have to reluctantly say no
HEALING HANDS
Jesus cured all the sick and the lame
Apart from one scruffy man at the back
Jesus gestured him to come forward
“No way” he said “I'm on disability wack”
I LOVE CELEBRATING FATHER'S DAY
I love celebrating Father's day
With my sons and daughters
Though I do realize it can cause
Confusion in certain quarters
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 301
Hickory dickory dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the others escaped unscathed
EATING WITH THE INLAWS
An evening spent
With my wife’s family
Is good food and wine
And gracious hostility
I WENT TO THE MOVIES LAST NIGHT
I went to the movies last night
And watched a really good thriller
About a man poisoning the Cornflakes
Who turned out to be a cereal killer
YOU SHOULD NEVER RAISE YOUR HANDS TO YOUR KIDS
You should never raise
Your hands to your children
And for that, there
Is a very good reason
Not that I’m saying
They shouldn’t be corrected
But you must never
Leave your nuts unprotected
SURPRISE YOUR DAD ON FATHER’S DAY
Surprise your dad on Father’s Day
Asking him for advice should do it
And if you really want to surprise him
You should actually accept it
MUM KNITTED ME A JUMPER
Mum knitted me a jumper
I hate wearing I as I look silly
But I’m a kid so I have to
Especially when mum feels chilly
IT’S JUST AS WELL THAT JESUS
It’s just as well that Jesus
Wasn’t born today to be fair
As there aren’t 3 wise men
And a virgin anywhere
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