ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHRISTMAS OUTFIT?
Are you wearing a red Christmas outfit?
You look very beautiful in it
In fact you look very cute
In your Santa’s little helper suit
A Christmas hat sits atop your curls
In a way only suited to girls
A beautiful red velvet dress
And white fur trim to impress
Striped woollen legs of red and white
Are they stocking or tights?
Stockings would be in reason
More in keeping with the season
But I would not disparage woolly tights
They too have their own delights
Come and help me trim the tree
And say you dressed this way for me?
ARE YOU WEARING XMAS STOCKINGS?
Are you wearing Xmas stockings?
With a holly wreath motif
Along those long festive garlands
How I wish to trace each leaf
Along each luscious limber leg
An ascent exquisitely brief
To reach the Christmas gift
Beyond the holly wreath motif
ARE YOU WEARING ELFISH EARS?
Are you wearing elfish ears?
It’s a very interesting feature
Though more appropriate
On a woodland creature
And not really suitable
For one in your position
You are let me remind you
The leader of the opposition
ARE YOU WEARING IT FOR A REASON?
Are you wearing it for a reason?
That outfit for the Christmas season
Yes it does come around very soon
But you do realise that it’s only June
ARE YOU WEARING A SANTA SUIT?
Are you wearing a Santa Suit?
I have to say you do look cute
I wonder if there might just be
A little room in there for me
ARE YOU WEARING A SPRIG OF MISTLETOE?
Are you wearing a sprig of mistletoe?
Are you hoping to meet a beau?
And kiss him passionately in the snow
An embrace to leave you all aglow
Is that why you wear the mistletoe?
ARE YOU WEARING CHRISTMAS HOSIERY?
Are you wearing Christmas hosiery?
Phwor are you going to let me see
Oh how they cling to the shape of you
I would like to cling to them too
Oh yes I like them very much
Perhaps I might have a touch
Oh you are a proper tease
Would you let me if I said please?
ARE YOU WEARING TINSEL?
Are you wearing tinsel?
Draped about your figure
Like a festive feather boa
Just covering your treasure
How seductive you appear
A little package of pleasure
You dance and prance
So full of vim and vigour
Now let me pull the tinsel
Then you can pull my trigger
ARE YOU WEARING ANY CLOTHES?
Are you wearing any clothes?
My little Christmas elf
You’re supposed to dress the tree!
Not undress yourself