Thursday, 26 July 2012

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 16) Georgian Bathroom

I felt suitably refreshed after having two showers in fairly close order either side of the lovely Miss Gomez’s display of versatility by giving a fine oral performance on my instrument.
Despite the rather lengthy ablutions and the felatio I got to the Gregory house about ten minutes ahead of schedule to find Geoffrey, Georgie’s dad, had started loading the car without me and Georgia hadn’t arrived home from work yet.
“Hold on Geoff, you should have waited for me”
"Hello Simon" he said "I just thought I’d make a start as Georgia’s running late"
"Come on then I'll give you a hand"
We had it all loaded and were sitting in the kitchen by the time Georgia got home.
"Sorry I’m late" She said "The Snipe was being a right pain in the arse"
"The Snipe" she was referring to was Agnes Snipe, Georgia’s boss at the Golf club.
"Don’t worry darling" Geoff said "Simon and I have the car loaded"
"Really?" She said "my heroes" and kissed us both.
She then joined us in a cuppa before going to get changed she was only gone about half an hour and when she came back she was wearing a short denim skirt and a pale blue short sleeved shirt, low cut to show off her lovely tits, and not forgetting blue and white ankle socks.
Her bobbed brunette hair was still wet from the shower and left damp splodges on the shoulders of her top.
"Do you want something to eat" Laura asked, Laura was Georgia’s mum
"No thanks mum" she answered "We're eating there"
She looked up at the clock then turned to me and said
"We need to get going"

The fact we were an hour late leaving didn’t hamper us in any way in fact because the traffic was lighter we got to the house only ten minutes later than we had originally planned.
They were just taking dinner orders as we arrived so I let Georgia choose and I started unloading the car.
It was slightly harder work getting it out of the car and into her room than it was getting it loaded back at her house.
Still a couple of the other lads lent a hand and it was soon done and with perfect timing just as I closed the boot down the pizzas arrived.
Georgia and I took the last two remaining places in the lounge, which were in the window.

There were nineteen people sitting in the lounge drinking wine and eating pizza, not my favourite fast food I have to say, of which I was the oldest by almost a decade
There were the six housemates and partners plus an assortment of friends,
It wasn’t a bad sized room with three large sofas in it but it was never intended to accommodate nineteen people.
Georgia and I were seated on the deep windowsill in the bay window.
With a gap of about two feet between us and the back of one of the sofas.
This afforded me a great view down the tops of two girls seated on the sofa one of the was a skinny braless girl with tits like roof tillers nail bags while the other had a fine pair contained in a green lacy number about two sizes two small and definitely not up to the job.
The cups were so small that both areolas were clearly visible above the line of green lace.
Georgia suddenly slapped my thigh
“Are you looking at my friends tits?”
She whispered in my ear, I’m not sure why she whispered it; the room was so noisy she could have used a bullhorn and no one would have overheard her.
“Yes of course, what a stupid question” I replied above a whisper
“You’re a dirty bastard,” she said laughing
Then she put her hand on my lap and started stroking my sleeping soldier who was already half awake.
“Already?” she asked wide-eyed
I shrugged nonchalantly, and she continued stroking.
A few minutes later Amy, the girl with the big tits and the small bra, turned round and spoke.
“Here George look at this”
Georgia leant over the sofa between Amy and the scraggy titted girl looking at something on Amy’s Blackberry.
They were all three of them laughing as I slid my hand up Georgie’s skirt and she didn’t bat an eye lid, not even when I pulled her knickers off her buttocks and half way down her thighs, nor again when I fondled her cheeks.
Only a few moments after my fingers parted her lips did she call a halt to my mischief and sit back down.
Then she smiled a saucy smile at me and took her knickers all the way off before stuffing them in my trouser pocket.
“I don’t think I’m going to be needing them” she said and placed my hand between her knees.
We were seated in the perfect place for our purposes. We could see everyone else but they couldn’t see anything of us below the chest, unless they were stood directly facing us and if anyone did that we would stop.
While my hand slid purposefully between her thighs, hers had now returned to my growing erection and she stroked my cock through my shorts.
As my hand neared its destination I felt the hair of her bush brushing the skin on the back of my hand.
Then my fingers homed in on her pussy, when she was standing bent over the sofa she was deliciously moist too my touch but when I returned to the seat of her moistness I found her creamily wet and she let out a little gasp as my finger went in her. No one heard it; it was still far too noisy in the room.
But I couldn’t take her too far because even with the decibel level as high as it was in that place, they would certainly here miss Gregory come.

It was just when I was getting her well lathered up that the lights suddenly went on and the music stopped and some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to raise a toast to there new abode.
Georgia tutted and pulled me out of her and closed her thighs tight.
“Cheers” she said smiling falsely.
The moment the chinking of glasses was over Georgia was on her feet saying
"Come and give me a hand with those boxes then"
Now its all very well when you’re a woman and the fun has to stop, because when leaving the room she merely has to contend with sticky thighs.
I had my shorts filled with a huge boner, standing up was difficult and painful and so was walking, but the main problem was concealment.
Behind the sofa it went unseen in a crowded room it was almost another person.
I tapped Georgia on the shoulder
"What?" she said impatiently
I indicated my predicament with my eyes and she looked down and smiled.
She then picked up our empty pizza box and put it in front of my bulging shorts.
"Can we go now?" she said sarcastically
I nodded and then gingerly followed her out of the room.
Once in the hallway I dispensed with the pizza box and pursued her up the stairs she was unhindered by a swollen organ so was taking the stairs two at a time, my progress was a good deal slower and when I reached her room she was removing her bra through her shirt sleeve, I loved it when women did that, having already removed her skirt and
She was standing in the room her nipples pushing proudly through the fabric of her top and her lush brown bush clearly on display.
“Come here” she beckoned “let me make you more comfortable”
Making me more comfortable involved her undoing my shorts and yanking my cock out and playing with it.
“You’re very eager miss Gregory” I said and kissed her
“I’m not going to see you until Sunday” she said
“Its only two days” I was playing with her tits now teasing her nipple through the fabric
“Exactly that’s why I need it now”
“What are you going to do when Uni starts?” I asked
“You’re not the only one with a wankbank you know” she said
If I hadn’t been rock hard by then that would have done it.
“I want you so bad” Georgia begged as she pulled of my shirt.
“There’s no room on the bed” I pointed out
“You didn’t need a bed the first time you forced yourself on me”
“I don’t remember needing to be particularly forceful,” I reminded her
“Oh Simon Please, don’t stop” I mimicked
“Just shut up and fuck me”
I looked around the room and there really wasn’t anywhere.
We looked at each other
“Bathroom” we said in unison
We quietly open the door and crossed the landing Georgia first, wearing her blue top, ankle socks and showing off her very hairy bush
I followed wearing sports socks but my cock beat me there by a short head.
Once inside I bolted the door and sat her on the shelf and positioned her just the way I did the first time I penetrated her tight cunny.
I pulled her top off over her head and played with her tits as she steered my cock towards her pussy and rubbed my knob between her wet lips then she left it poised, I twitched my shaft and my head danced lightly around her hole, the she grasped my buttocks digging her nails into the flesh and pulled me into her
“Oh Simon” she moaned
Being inside her was like wearing a liquid velvet sheath
She was so hot and she was so creamy it was like bathing my shaft in warm treacle.
As I pumped into her she let out deep rasping moans
“Simon, Simon” she panted
Then her breaths became coarser and her moans deeper
Her thighs were holding my hips like a vice and her ankles were crossed beneath my buttocks and holding my inside her.
I could only give her short measured stroked but with each one
“Oh”
Another
“Oh”
Another
“Oh”
Again
“Ohh”
Again
“Ohhh”
Just one more stroke
“Ohhhhhhhhh” and she came and I followed
Then she kissed me
“God Simon it just keeps getting better”
“It was ok then?” I panted
“You know damn well it was cocky”
We stayed conjoined for a few minutes as she milked every last drop from me.
Before we had to cross the landing back to the room almost naked looking quite rightly like we’d been shagging in the bathroom.
Luckily no one saw us but we were definitely overheard judging my some of the looks we got as we were leaving.

When I got back to the Gregory’s it was quite late so I was planning to just park the car and pop the keys through the letter box.
But just as I was about to post the keys through the door opened, it was Geoffrey.
“Ah Hello Simon I thought I heard the car door” he said
“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said apologetically
“No I hadn’t turned in yet come in for a nightcap and tell us the tale”
So I spent the next half an hour telling him about the house and her friends, which was a quite uncomfortable experience for me, on one hand because I didn’t know how much Georgia would want me to tell them about her student life while on the other because inside my sticky underwear some of my pubic hair was stuck to my thigh.







An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 15) See Emily Play

had been a most unproductive Friday and I was not in the best of moods.
I had been on the phone all morning, not one of my favourite activities, firstly I had a very long winded call from my agent about a literary dinner in Swindon, which was now only a few days away, he thought I should attend as I was nominated in two categories, I had decided just to ignore it as it was in Swindon.
I wasn’t keen at all and I normally only accepted those kinds of invitations in order to facilitate a night of carnal debauchery with Claire Andrews, also known as Dr Lazarus.
So I declined, my agent insisted, I declined again, he insisted again, I declined more emphatically, he insisted more forcefully,
Eventually and with great reluctance I agreed if for no other reason than to get him off the phone.
I then called Claire to see if she was available to disgrace her self in my company once again this time in Swindon.
At first she was up for it but as it was only a few days away so she had to decline, basically in Rugby parlance she had to "declare a blood injury" so that was that.
Then I called my cousin Molly, always good company and always a good shag,
Strike two, she was on nights for the next week.
Georgia was working that night; Pandora had to look after the kids and so on and so fourth.
So not only did I have to go to Swindon and rub shoulders with a bunch of self obsessed writers I now had to stay over night without one of my favourite bed warmers.

So it was late afternoon when I decided it was time to shower and get ready for my date with Georgia, well I say date it was more of a mission.
She would be returning to University at Roehampton in a few weeks time for her final year.
And Georgia and a bunch of friends had rented an old Victorian house and I was helping her move her stuff in.
Under normal circumstances they would have moved in at the beginning of July but the week before their tenancy began the water tank in the loft sprang a leak and brought down the ceiling and made quite a mess.
So the occupancy had been delayed while the repairs were being done, now that they were complete the whole group were moving their stuff in.
They did have the option to renew their tenancy in the house they were in the previous year but it had turned out to be a bit of a slum.
I was going to walk up to Georgia’s when she finished work so we could load all her stuff into the Gregory’s Peugeot estate.
We would then unload her stuff into her room, have a take away with her friends then I would leave her up there to unpack her stuff and drive the car back to Bushy Down and then she would come back by train on Sunday morning.
All of her friends were staying in the house until term began but Georgia needed to work at the club until the very last minute to earn as much cash as possible.
I had no idea what to wear to sit and socialize with students a decade younger than I.
I was still pondering this conundrum when there was a knock on the French window.

When I looked I couldn’t see anyone at first but on closer perusal I could see it was Emily Gomez.
Emily was wearing knee length blue shorts, tight like leggings and a kind of short floral summer dress, scooped down at the front, fitted at the waist and just about long enough to cover her bum.
“Hello hon” I said opening the door
“Where’s your buddy?”
Her “buddy” was Jenny Smithson her best friend.
Inseparable since kindergarten, a perfect friendship, they complimented each other.
Although there were similarities, they were both beauties for a start, their likes and dislikes, sense of humour but really as individuals they couldn’t be more different.
Emily was dark and dusky and had no fear Jenny was pale and freckly and would tremble in shadows.
Emily was an extrovert, precocious, a real Lolita.
She's very confident, self-assured, and pretty and she knew it though not in a cocky way.
Jenny on the other hand, though also very pretty, was unsure of it.
She was shy and socially awkward and lacked self-confidence
Being with Emily made Jenny feel more confident, daring to do things she would never do alone, she lived her life on Emily’s coat tails and without Emily she floundered.
“She’s at the dentist,” Emily answered
“Have you come to play”? I asked hopefully
“No such luck” Came the reply
I looked at quizzically
“I’m on the blob,” she said
“So no I’m not here so that you can further sully my beautiful young form”
“That’s a shame” I said “I’m pretty good at sullying”
“Yes you are,” she said wistfully
“So what’s up then?” I asked
“We have the builders in at home and mum doesn’t want me alone in the house with the rough workmen in case I get tainted or have my innocence blemished”
“And she sent you here?”
“Yes ironic isn’t it?” she laughed
What was ironic was that her parents had the builders in and she had the decorators.
It was only a few weeks earlier that I took Emily’s innocence and I had been tainting her on a fairly regular basis ever since.
“Mum said I should come here and she’ll pick me up”
“No problem” I said
“Its only for today, we’re off to Mauritius tomorrow for three weeks”
She said with slightly less enthusiasm that you would expect.
“That’s lovely isn’t it”? I offered
“Yes but I’ll miss all the fun” she said
“Fun” was Emily’s euphemism for cock
Because she was a foot shorter than me I could easily look down her top at her beautiful brown muffins and I longed to play with her chocolate teats.
“Jenny will be lost while you’re away,” I said
“You could keep her entertained,” she suggested
“Alas I think she’s too shy for that” I said regretfully
“She wants too,” Emily said indiscreetly
I thought to myself I would quite like too as well.
Then as if to change the subject she asked
“Could I have a drink?”
“Of course help yourself” I replied, “You know where the glasses are”
The glasses were in the top cupboard and being only five foot one she had to stand on tiptoe to reach and the act of stretching up her arm raised the hem of her skirt to expose the curves of her perfect little cheeks in her skin tight shorts.
When she had retrieved a glass she turned and looked at me.
"Were you staring at my bum?" she asked accusingly
"Of course"
"You’re a terrible letch,” she said
“No I’m actually a very good letch” I corrected her "don’t you like me looking?"
“Of course I do” she said and blushed and then she walked across the kitchen and said before she kissed me
“I like you touching too”
I took the opportunity to grab her tight little arse and cupped a delicious cheek in each hand.
The kiss lasted about a minute and when our lips parted she said
"Shame about the fun"
I was thinking the same thing and at that moment I cursed her curse as my cock swelled in my pants.
I thought that was a good time to leave
“Make yourself a sandwich” I said “I need to jump in the shower”
I had a lovely hot shower in the en suite although a cold one might have been more appropriate as I was sporting a huge erection.
Once out of the shower I realized I only had a hand towel “That’s barely big enough to dry my balls” I thought.
So I dabbed my face dry with it and walked off across the landing to get a bath towel from the airing cupboard, which was just inside the door of the main bathroom.
I walked across the landing and opened the bathroom door stepped through and opened the airing cupboard.
I took out a large fluffy bath towel off the top shelf and closed the door that was when I realized Emily was sat on the toilet.
Leggings and knickers round her knees and Dress hoisted up around her middle her thick black bush clearly visible.
"I'm so sorry Em" I said in a fluster "I just didn’t think"
"I am so, so sorry"
Then I hurried out of the door and back to the sanctuary of my room where I could hide my embarrassment,
I went back into the en suite and dried myself thoroughly and I was surprised to find I still had a substantial stalk on.
When I walked back into my bedroom I found Emily sitting on my bed.
I jumped when I saw her there and I flustered again.
"I really am sorry hon"
"Its ok” she said “I’m not cross, you’ve seen everything I’ve got already"
“That’s not the point” I said
I noticed her eyes were fixed on my cock and wondered what was going through her mind.
Maybe she wanted me to do her in the bathroom while she was blobby.
I hoped she didn’t want anal.
"Is your cock always hard?"
"No only when" and I nearly said when only there was a woman close by but stopped myself just in time. "You’re around"
"It doesn’t do that just for me" and she laughed
“So why is it hard now?” She asked curiously still staring at my erection.
“Dirty thoughts” I said
“Really? What were you thinking about?”
“You of course” I said “I was thinking about making love to you in that bed when you were naked, wriggling and squirming beneath me”
Then she reached out and grabbed hold of it and pulled me towards her then for the first time she took her eyes off my cock and looked at my face as she played with me.
I closed my eyes as she gently tugged on me and then I felt delicate soft kisses on my sensitive knob.
This was a surprise; I hadn’t introduced her to this yet as part of her sexual education.
Then her tongue flicked around my helmet in quick feather light licks.
And all at once in one smooth slurping instant I was in her mouth.
I could feel Emily’s fingers still caressing my shaft lightly and
I looked down just as my glistening wet knob reappeared accompanied by a sucking sound, she looked up and smiled wickedly.
And then she devoured me again with her hot mouth
I could see the bulge of my cock in her cheek as she sucked on me.
Her fingers tightened their grip on my shaft as her demerara lips were slurping around my cock.
“Oh that’s so nice Honey,” I gasped
“Wham whi whoing whit whighk?” Emily mumbled inaudibly
Which I interpreted to mean were her efforts to my satisfaction
“Oh yes Honey”
I would normally at his point be considering the next chapter of the story.
“It’s a shame she’s on the blob” I thought, I could fuck her up the arse but I hadn’t introduced her to that kind of sex and it’s really not my kind of thing anyway.
It would have to either be a titwank or as I was already in her mouth let her suck me off.
I was fast approaching the point of no return and I could tell by the lip smacking and slurping that she had already decided what she wanted to do.
One hand was on the back of her head; fingers threaded amongst her thick black curls while the other caressed her bulging cheek.
Her fingers were gripped tight around the base of my shaft and tugging on me furiously.
Then Emily took one final pause for air before my saliva soaked cock slipped comfortably between her dark lips again.
Her mouth sealed tight around my throbbing cock and snorting through her nose, her mouth joined the busy little fingers in the rhythmic wanking.
I was so close now and Emily could sense it and she was going at me like fury,
So close, so close
“Oh Emily”
My buttocks clenched tight
Closer, closer
“Emily, Emily”
And then my hands are pulling her head onto me as I shoot and her eager lips sucked me dry.
Just then the doorbell rang.
Emily was still grasping me and sucking and licking at the last of my seed.
Then her lips smacked one last time as her lips released my shaft.
“Was that ok”? She asked and kissed my helmet
“Oh yes baby” I said and I kissed her forehead
“And when you get back from Mauritius I am going to give you so much fun your toes will curl”
“Goody” she said with what could only be described as a leer
The doorbell rang again.
I quickly put some clothes on with Emily watching my every move and looking very pleased with herself, which she deserved to do, it wasn’t the best blowjob I’d ever had, but jeez it was close enough.
I grabbed her hand and went downstairs to open the door.
I sent Emily too the kitchen and I opened the door.
“Hello Mrs. Gomez” I said warmly “Emily is in the kitchen”
“Hello Simon, Thank you so much for doing this, she just wouldn’t have been safe with those builders,” she babbled her way through the kitchen door “you know how na├»ve she is”
Emily was sat at the table an empty plate in from of her and that was when I noticed she had a small dribble of my gentleman’s relish in the corner of her mouth.
“For goodness sake Emily, wipe that salad dressing off your lip darling”
Then to me she said
“I do apologize Simon she has such terrible manners”
Then I said, “I know she talks with her mouth full too”
Emily went bright red as she wiped my cum off her mouth with a tissue.
Mrs. Gomez excused herself and said she would wait in the car.
“You could have told me,” Emily said just as the door closed laughed and punched me.
I made sure that Emily sluiced with mouthwash before I let leave the house.
I didn’t want her going home with penis breath.
Also I wanted to give her a proper goodbye kiss before she went on holiday.
Then I had another shower.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 14) What Maisie Knew

The morning after Georgia’s in car entertainment she had to be up early for work so after briefly spooning her I gave her the benefit of my early riser then she left me in bed, showered and went to work.
My work involved keeping my publisher steadily supplied with bawdy chapters, fortunately I was ahead of the game, so I went back to sleep.
I woke up suitably refreshed at 2.30pm, very decadent I know but there you have it.
I got up from my pit and walked over to the window where I threw open the curtains to let some light in.
However it was such a dark dismal afternoon it made little difference, the rain was absolutely lashing down.
I went and showered then threw on my towelling robe and went downstairs for breakfast well perhaps not breakfast, not even lunch let’s be generous and call it a late lunch.
When I got downstairs I turned on the kitchen light, picked up the kettle and walked to the sink to fill it.
As I looked out through the rain spattered window I could see a figure moving about in the garden.
I couldn’t make out who it was at first, and then I recognized the gawky gangling gate of Maisie Stewart.
I finished filling the kettle and put it back on the counter and flicked the switch.
Then I went to the back door and opened it.
“MAISIE” I shouted
At first she carried on picking up the weeds she had collected.
“MAISIE” I shouted again
This time she stood up and looked in my direction and waved.
She looked like a drowned rat her hair was plastered to her face and her short waterproof coat just served to divert the expelled water down to her dungarees, which were soaked up to the thighs.
“COME HERE” I called to her accompanied by a gesture.
She stopped what she was doing and trotted up the path to the back door.
“Hi Simon” she said her rain soaked face smiling, and then she shivered.
“Come inside, you’ll catch your death”
“Ok” she said, “have you got the kettle on?” She asked as she stepped onto the mat
“What on earth are you doing working in this weather?” I said crossly
“Where’s Frankie? I can’t believe she’s making you work in this”
“Frankie finished for the day” Maisie said “she said it was too wet, and that I should go home”
“So why didn’t you, you silly girl?” I asked squeezing her dungarees until water dripped out.
“I didn’t want to go home”
I realised then just how bad her home life must be if she would rather be outside working on a day like this.
“Right in there” I said and marched her into the utility “no more work today”
I told her to get her coat and boots off and put them on the drainer then I opened the tumble dryer.
I took out the dry towels and a bathrobe; it was the spare one that I kept for my female “guests”
It had been washed and dried because Molly got it more than a little bit spunky on her last visit.
I handed Maisie the clean robe and said
“Take off everything you have on that’s wet, pants as well if necessary, and put them in the tumble dryer then put on the robe and come into the kitchen Ok?”
Maisie nodded. Then I went out and shut the door behind me.
By the time she emerged from the utility I had made soup for us both and taken it through to the lounge where we ate it with bread rolls off trays on our laps.
As we were eating I asked her
“Why didn’t you just shelter in the garage if you didn’t want to go home?”
“I didn’t want to” she said meekly “in case you thought I was trying to steal from you again, after everything you’ve done and all”
“Well just so we’re clear in future you can go in there whenever you want”
“Thanks” she said and shivered
“Talking about jobs, I bumped into India Carrington at the Summer Ball, and she’s asked if you were available”.
“Is she the snooty cow with the horse”? She asked
“Yes” I said “I don’t know what work she has it might be shovelling muck”
“Oh I don’t mind what I do” Maisie said
“Good for you, now go and have a shower and get warmed up, you must be chilled to the bone”
“Simon?”
“Yes”
“Would you mind very much if..”?
“If what?”
“If I had a bath instead, we only have a shower at home”
“Of course you can” I said and smiled
I took her upstairs and showed her to the en suite bathroom in my bedroom, as it had a larger tub and would better accommodate her long gangly legs.
I showed her where the bubble bath and lotions and potions were and I gave her some fresh towels and left her to it.
“Enjoy” I said, “Soak for as long as you like”
“Thanks Simon, for everything”
“What do you mean?”
“Getting me all the jobs and everything, recommending me”
“I believed in you that was all” I said, “You did the rest”
I smiled and closed the door, what she didn’t realise was that my actions in helping her were driven by guilt.
I went down stairs and went to my study and decided to write for a while even though I had met my commitment for the month.
After about half an hour I went into the utility room and checked the contents of the tumble drier.
I had no idea what was in there as Maisie had already loaded it then I merely switched it on.
So firstly I took everything out, socks (still a bit damp) dungarees (still wet) tee-shirt (dry) Knickers, big and blue (dry) and that was it no bra, maybe she kept it on, unlikely I thought more likely she was just copying Frankie as she had the rest of her outfit.
I put the dungarees and socks back in and closed the door to finish them off.
I then took the tee-shirt and the big knickers into the lounge. I had already put her wet boots and jacket by the wood burner to dry and they were steaming happily.
I then draped her tee shirt over the clothes airer in front of the stove, it was dry, and I just wanted her to be able to slip into something warm when she got out of the bath.
Then I prepared to do the same thing with her pants but as I handled the big blue cotton knickers I got that tell tale stir, I was going to say in my own pants but as I wasn’t wearing any so it wasn’t appropriate, neither was the stirring or the accompanying thought that it was I who wanted to slip into something warm.
I dismissed the thought at once, it could never happen, it must never happen.
I had given my best effort, ever since that day I caught her in my garage and came within a hairs breadth of raping her, of helping her and I had helped her, and I planned to carry on helping her.
It was driven by guilt of course, for what I could have done to her but I had no ulterior motive and had, correction have no plans to help myself.
I could have taken her that night by force but I didn’t, I could have had her later that night with her consent but didn’t, even though she offered it to me on a plate.
Despite my countless character flaws and lack of morals I have done the right thing by this girl and now my cock was stirring.
I draped the big blue knickers on the dryer next to the tee-shirt and went back to my study.
It was about half an hour later when she finally came downstairs
“Simon” she called
“I’m in the study,” I answered
The door opened and her mousy mopped head appeared around the door, her face was all pink and shiny.
“I accidently dunked the bath robe in the bath” Maisie said with a giggle “so I borrowed one of your shirts is that ok?”
She stepped from behind the door wearing one of my denim shirts like a dress, she had the sleeves rolled half way up her spindly arms and the shirt tails almost reached her knees, her legs and arms were also pink from her hot bath.
In my shirt she looked even more of a tomboy and with her damp pixie cut hair quite delicious.
I tried to push thoughts of her pinkness from my mind with great difficulty.
“Your tee-shirt and panties are on the dryer in the lounge” I told her
“The rest is still in the dryer”
Then inexplicably I said
“Big knickers?” I said “very sexy”
She thought I was joking
Maisie pink cheeks went red
“Frankie recommended big knickers for freedom of movement” she said before adding
“And because she says you’re a sex maniac”
“That’s a foul slur on my good name” I said indignantly
“That’s not what I’ve heard, you have quite a reputation,” she said
“Anything in a skirt apparently”
I was about to say something wittily diverting when she said
“Except me”
I was about to protest but I did treat her differently to Emily and Jenny
It was wrong with them but I’d already had Emily and Jenny would very soon follow.
“Why don’t you want me?” she said sadly
“I didn’t say I didn’t want you Maisie,” I said “I’ve never said I didn’t want you”
“Then why haven’t you…”?
“That night in the garage I was an inch away from taking you against your will and that’s rape in anybodies language”
“But afterwards when I wanted you to, you wouldn’t” she said tearfully
“Even under those circumstances it would have been wrong”
She turned away crying, I went to hug her and she buried her face in my chest
Then through the tears she asked
“You wanted me though?”
“Yes” I answered her truthfully
“You just didn’t want to take advantage of me?
“That’s right,” I answered truthfully again
“But I want you too take advantage of me” she announced
And she kissed me on the mouth at first I resisted but my doubts melted away and it was so nice it was like tasting forbidden fruit.
Her gangly arms wrapped serpent like around my neck
After a minute or so I fondled at her tit through the denim of the shirt and she adjusted her body position so I could get both of them in hand.
Then I undid a couple of poppers on my denim shirt and slid my hand inside onto her soft belly and impatiently slid it up to cup her small pliant titty and toyed with her rapidly erecting nipple.
The kissing was becoming intense so with my right hand occupied with her titty my right grabbed a handful of shirt and pulled it upwards until my hand was touching her firm round buttocks and her breathing was deepening with every snorting exhale through her nose.
Then my hands moved around onto her hip pausing briefly before descending through her thick mop of freshly bathed mousy pubic hair and between her tender lips
The moment my finger touched her pussy she broke away from my mouth as was moaning loudly in my ear as I stroked her through the juice.
Maisie desperately clung onto me as I fingered at her and then she lifted one leg off the floor as my attentions became more intense and with the knee bent she drew her long leg up until her thigh was almost perpendicular and l made her come.
We stood there for a few moments a strange three legged beast and I suddenly thought I was barely even hard, normally under those circumstances my cock would be bursting out of my robe hard enough to break her pelvis.
This was when I broke away from her
“This isn’t right,” I said
“What’s the matter?” she begged
“I can’t do it,” I told her
“Why?” she said with tears welling up
“You know why”
“No that’s not the reason it’s because I’m ugly and worthless”
And she turned her back on me and she cried again.
I put my hand on her shoulder.
“You don’t understand,” I said walking to my desk chair
“It’s because I want you too much”
I sat down staring at the computer screen as if it held the answer to our conundrum.
“I can’t make love to you no matter how much I want to”
“But I can make love to you” she suggested
And she was sitting on my desk wiping away a tear.
“Let me make love to you Simon” she pleaded
Then Maisie leant forward, pausing briefly, allowing me to see her tits hanging inside the denim and then she kissed me slow and tender.
I felt a tug about my waist as she attempted to undo the belt of my robe. First pulling at the wrong loose end she gave a little chuckle as she kissed me then she yanked on the other end and I was undone.
She threw to one side first one half and then the other until my cock was exposed though still reluctant to join in.
Her small, slightly calloused hands were unperturbed and tugged and pulled on my semi until it finally decided to attend.
Once I had reached full erection and she had roughly exposed my bell.
She sat back on the desk and admired her handiwork.
As she sat on my desk I stroked her outer thighs as I looked forward to her sliding onto my cock as I sat in my chair.
But at the point of potential penetration a look of doubtfulness crossed her face and she said
“I don’t know what to do”
I just squeezed her thighs and answered
”Don’t worry honey, we can stop, we don’t have to do this now there will be other times”
“No Simon, you don’t understand” Maisie said
“I want to do it, but I don’t know what to do”
“Is this your first time honey?”
She nodded shyly.
Now over the past few months I had turned into something of the resident cherry popper in the village.
Which to be quite honest I didn’t mind and nor did Georgia, India or Emily.
I know some men do and they like their partner to be well versed in the sexual arts and be as skilled as a courtesan and I’ll take them like that as well.
But equally I rather enjoy driving something with very low mileage or even straight from the showroom.
“Good” I told her and she smiled
“Now I’ll show you what to do ok?”
She nodded again more confidently this time.
I told her to brace herself and lower herself onto me.
So she placed one hand on the desk and the other on the back of my chair.
She was biting her lip and frowning a little with concentration as she lowered herself towards my purple waiting head
I gripped my shaft and held it steady
I felt my helmet touching her creamy lips and Maisie's whole body trembled as her lips enveloped my knob and she grimaced as it entered her, then she stopped,
I still had one hand on my cock while the other was on her hip
There was panic on Maisie's face and she didn’t know what to do next.
“Ease yourself up honey” I said making eye contact “then down again slowly, this time a little further
My right hand was now on her buttock
She followed my instruction and down she came another inch and she let out a nervous laugh but her expression was less concerned
“And again Hon”
Up again and down now she had another inch of me in her
This time no nervous laugh but a soft short moan
Both hands were on the chair back now and both mine were on her arse
Up again and down, another two inches
And a longer moan
Her eyes were shut as she rose again and they opened wide as she slid all the way down my shaft
“Ohhhhh” she moaned at the deepest penetration
Then her gangly arms wrapped round my neck and she kissed me
“Good girl” I said
“See you could do it”
Maisie kissed my neck and began rising and falling on my shaft again and again until she jerked to a conclusion.
“Good girl” I told her kissing her shoulder
Maisie had made love to me and it was very nice but I hadn’t come yet and I had more to give her and I would because I could have her now.
“That was amazing Maisie” I lied
Maisie was very satisfied with her performance and her orgasm but she had no benchmark.
So popping her own cherry was only the beginning and I took her into the lounge and made her come again and again before she felt me explode inside her.
After I had sullied and soiled her I soaked in the tub with her before sullying her afresh before she had to be at the village shop for work.
I would sully her again another day.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 13) The Estate Of Georgia

Despite the fact I was raised as a Christian by practising Christian parents who were and indeed still are very active in their church I had never been a particularly spiritual person, not surprising you may say given my positively loose morals.
I do however believe in a power greater than myself and I am not uncomfortable calling him God
The church however has always been a different matter and I have always been dismissive about those interfering Christian do-gooders doing good works and muttering on about their relationship with God.
I never had a relationship with God other than the fact I know he exists and he knows I exist and we have always left it at that.
I had not been a regular visitor to his house since I was sixteen when I was given the option to follow my own path; my parents thought optimistically I would choose to continue on the path they had led me along but they were disappointed.
So my interactions with the church were restricted to hatches matches and dispatches and the odd Christmas carol service, that was of course until I moved to Bushy Down.
I’m still not sure what prompted me to attend St Lucy’s back in February, it may have been to mourn dear Uncle John, and it might have been the despair at my writer’s block or perhaps just a need to reset my compass.
Whatever the reason was it reawakened something in me and every five or six weeks I would find myself standing at the back of St Lucy’s yodelling out “how great thou art”.
This news of my redemption somehow reached my mothers ears sometime in July and I became a little less of a pariah.
So when in August I took Georgia up to London for the weekend to visit my parents to introduce my girlfriend to the family I was treated as the prodigal son.
There was no fatted calf but as it was my favourite there was a very nice meat loaf.
You probably think, given my obvious philandering bent, it a rather old fashioned convention introducing my girlfriend to the family but I thought it was important.
You will doubtless also suggest that someone with the morals of an alley cat like myself has no place leading on a girl like Georgia Gregory.
Well the truth is I love her; mind you I also love every woman I sleep with when I’m with them,
But Georgia is the only one I love when we are apart.
So hence the long weekend visit to the parents, a trip I don’t take often or lightly.
It all went off quite well really all things considered the family all loved Georgia to bits, not that I thought for a moment they wouldn’t, even cousin Molly popped in on Sunday afternoon and the two of them got on like a house on fire.
The only downside to the whole weekend was my mother’s insistence that we sleep in separate rooms.
If not for the fact my mother was a good Christian woman then for the simple reason that as a writer of pornography, even if its disguised as adult literature, I could not be relied upon not to disgrace and degrade Georgia under their roof.
The result of this enforced separation and the fact that we didn’t have a moment to ourselves for two days, was that by the time we left on Sunday evening we were both horny as hell.
According to the satnav the time from Muswell Hill to Kiddingstone was forty-seven minutes on that Sunday night driving the Gregory’s Peugeot estate I would have done it in thirty-five.
But when we were about ten minutes from home Georgia said urgently pointing
“Pull in here”
She was pointing at a little lay-by set back from the road.
“Why?”
“Quick I need to pee”
So I pulled off the road as instructed and came to a halt.
Georgie got out and headed to the nearest bush, so I got out to stretch my legs and I could hear her pissing behind a bush, I walked a little closer, and it was really loud like a horse.
Just then a car went past on the other side of the road and for a split second I could actually see her peeing.
Why did I think that so exciting? God I was getting a semi on.
I never used to get aroused by such things; it must have been the incident with Camilla the squirting lawyer that had affected me.
Georgia finished and stood up so I went back to the car.
When she got in the passenger seat she was holding her knickers and tights in her hand,
“What did you take those off for?” I asked
“Why do you think?” she answered
“Did you pee on them?”
”No I didn’t,” she said indignantly
“So we can have sex” she corrected me
Then she kissed me and put her hand on my semi.
“God it doesn’t take much for you does it?”
Georgia unzipped my fly and yanked my cock out
Then she went down on me and sucked me hard
When she came up for air I asked
“Remind me why we’re having sex in the car when we can do it at mine in less than ten minutes”
“Because I’m horny now” she said wriggling out of her dress
“No self control” I told her
“That’s rich” she retorted pulling off her sweater
“I was a virgin until I met you”
“God I’ve created a monster,” I said sucking her tits while slipping her two fingers.
That did it for her, not only could she not wait until we got home for a good fuck but she couldn’t wait for the foreplay.
She clambered up the seat as a shortcut to the back seat
"Don’t be daft,” I said, “get out and use the back door,
“I’m naked” she said
“Its dark no one will see” I told her
“Sod that, I’m climbing over” she persisted
“Why?”
“I cant wait” she said “I want it now, get your arse in the back seat”
In her haste to get into the back seat before me she managed to get her left foot stuck between the driver’s seat and the centre console.
It was stuck fast
“I said “get out and walk round” but horny Georgie knew better” I said rubbing it in
“Just get it out Simon”
“Ok just try to relax,” I said
“Very funny”
Well I tried my best to free her foot but it wouldn’t budge, then I slipped myself and ended up with my face two inches from her hot cunny so obviously I noshed it
Her initial protests were quickly replaced by whorish moans
As I frigged her hole with two fingers and lapped up the resulting juice with my tongue
“Fuck me Simon Fuck Me,” she screamed
That was going to be easier said than done I thought.
Then I had an idea
“Hold on while I move the seat”
I reached down and grabbed the handle, yanking it up as I pushed the seat and Georgia shot back about eight inches,
I couldn’t move the driver’s seat because of her trapped foot
But moving the passenger seat afforded me just enough space to be able to get my head and shoulders through the sunroof and with my feet in the passenger foot well I slid my cock into her burning pussy.
All I could do was put my hands on her hips to steady her and just fuck her hard and fast, which I did and we both came in a matter of minutes.
I withdrew from her and slithered back down into the car, I couldn’t resist a quick suck on her cunny lips before I opened the car door and went into the back seat.
I found Georgia half in the back looking like she’d been dragged backwards through a hedge.
Her hair was a mess and her tits were just dangling there
“Hi” I said, “How are you doing?”
“Wow” she said, “That was amazing”
And laughed so I leant forward and kissed her.
“Lets get you unstuck” I said “then I’ll take you home and finish the job”
It took about thirty seconds to free her foot it seems that once Georgia had cum her lot she relaxed and her foot pretty much freed itself.
“Done” I said sitting in the middle of the back seat.
She kind of slithered into the back of the car like a snake and latched straight onto my serpent
“I thought we’d finish at home”
She stopped sucking for a second to say
“I’m going to finish you here”
Then she slurped on me again.
I finally got her into my bed at 3.00am.
The next morning Georgia had to be up early for work so after briefly spooning her I gave her the benefit of my early riser then she left me in bed, showered and went to work.

A Humourous Selection # 15

FEMININE CONUNDRUM # 1

I will never understand women
How is it they can pour wax, molten
Onto their naked flesh and then to boot
Rip it off pulling out the hair by the root
And yet can by completely terrified by
A spider that’s even smaller than a fly

I REALLY NEED TO MODERATE # 3

I really need to moderate
The way I live my life
Last night I drank so much
I turned into my wife

I failed to grasp simple logic
And became overly emotional
Then I talked incessantly
And made no sense at all

DO AS I SAY

My wife said, “Take off all my clothes
And throw them on the floor”
I was taken aback to be honest
Then she said “and don’t wear them anymore”

BLONDICIDE

Bimbette was found in her cell
Hanging by the ankles from a beam
She claims it was a suicide attempt
This is normal for her it would seem

When she was told that to kill herself
The rope would need to be around her throat
She said that she had tried that first
But she stopped when she started to choke

TOOTING

Come and hear grandpa play
His tuneful little flageolet
Come hear the Zufolo toot
And listen to his fipple flute

BLONDE SHOWER

Bimbette was in the shower
And spent all day in the en suite
Because it said on the shampoo bottle
“Lather, Rinse, Repeat”


FAST CARS

Cars keep getting faster and faster
Hurtling from disaster to disaster
We should slow them down again
To the speed of the drivers brain

BUFF

You’re really buff
You’re a bit of fluff
You’re a bit of stuff
Are you buff in the buff?

WENDY FOY

Sweet Wendy Foy
Fancied trendy Roy
Roy was a friendly boy
Who used Wendy Foy
Like a bendy toy
She enjoyed un-bendy Roy
And his trendy toy
That gave Wendy Joy

The Love Selection # 9

I STILL CLING TO YOU

I still cling to you
For fear of drowning
In your arms
I feel secure
But it’s an illusion
Its false security
Despite your deceit
And betrayals
I still cling to you
Instead of swimming free
Not for fear of drowning
But fear of being alone

LOVE APPEARED LIKE AN EMERGING FLOWER

Love appeared like an emerging flower
Blooming like a flush on a maidens cheek
Spreading out like the wings of a bird
And taking flight upon romantic winds
Traversing the immense poetic globe
Reaching every corner of the world
Before returning to its love struck source
For there is no greater extent
To which a love can aspire
Than all around the world and back again

MANY THINGS BREAK MY HEART IN TWO

Many things break my heart in two
But the hardest thing to see
Is you softly speaking words of love
To a man who isn’t me

THERE IS BEAUTY IN THE WORLD

There is beauty in the world
Not the fake painted on kind
True beauty doesn’t wear
The artificial gloss of glamour
Or the mask of vanity
True natural beauty
Is hidden in a maiden fair
Who lives blissfully unaware
Of her great gift
Because the greatest beauty of all
Resides within

I HAD HIGH HOPES OF YOU

I had high hopes of you
But you let me down
You turned out to be inconsistent
Shifting like the desert dunes
And I can see clearly that you’re
Undependable and feckless
With feet of clay
I wasted too much time
Trying to get you to commit
I can only liken it
Too trying to nail jelly to a tree.

IN EVERY CORNER OF MY MIND

In every corner of my mind
An endless moment lives
Burnt into my memory
Glowing like an ember
That won’t die
tormenting and taunting
A loop of reminiscence
Constantly reminding me
Of the fateful moment
That I let you go

GRIEF HITS LIKE AN IRON FIST

Grief hits like an iron fist
Cloaked in a velvet glove
But grief is the ultimate price
We all have to pay for love

THE WORLD IS A COLD AND EMPTY PLACE

The world is a cold and empty place
Devoid of beauty
When you fall out of love
Colder and emptier still
When someone else
Falls out of love with you

FALLING IN LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

Falling in love
Is a beautiful thing
And love does make
The world go round
Being in love
Is a beautiful thing
As long as the world
Keeps turning
Fall out of love
And the world stops
There is no beauty in

I WALKED HAND IN HAND WITH YOU

I walked hand in hand with you
Down a country lane just we two
In a land of a green and pleasant hue
Over a bridge where the kingfisher flew
Through woods full of telltale bells of blue
Across a field wet with morning dew
Climbed a hill amidst lamb and ewe
To a perfect spot with an unspoilt view
Where we could be alone just we two
Hold each other’s hand and bill and coo

A Humorous Selection # 14



CALL CENTER MODE ONCE MORE

One day Bimbette was having trouble
With her computer,
So she decided to try the call center
At a time that would suit her

"Hello how can I help you?"
Said the tech support guy
“What kind of computer do you have?
“A white one” was her reply

HOW DO YOU WANT IT CUT?

Bimbette ordered herself
A small pizza to go
“How do you want it cut”?
The guy asked, then
“Do you want it cut?
Into ten slices or eight”
“Oh just eight
I’m not hungry enough for ten”

WHEN THE MONTH GOES ROUND

When the month goes round
Beware what ever you do
My wife not only has PMS
She has GPS too
Which means she’s a crabby bitch
And she can find you

VAGUE INTEREST

When first I saw her
I thought her vaguely fascinating
But on further study
She was only fascinatingly vague

ON ALERT

I hate living under the threat
Of terrorism every day
I can remember when if you saw
An unattended bag on the railway
You would say to yourself
I’m going to have that away

THE SAME OLD COIFFURE

Sally always had
The same old coiffure
And thought that
Her marriage was secure
But her husband chose
A new style of hair
And she found one day
He was no longer there

I REALLY NEED TO MODERATE # 1

I really need to moderate
The way I live my life
Last night I drank so much
I turned into my wife

I argued over nothing at all
Behaved like a holy terror
And I refused to apologise
When I was obviously in error

COUNTRY WATCH

I went to the countryside
And you know when I looked
I could see animals roaming about
That were totally uncooked
I REALLY NEED TO MODERATE # 2

I really need to moderate
The way I live my life
Last night I drank so much
I turned into my wife

I lost the ability to rationalise
I couldn’t think logically
And couldn’t grasp the offside law
Then I had to sit down to pee

F.L.O.

The police knocked at my door
And gave me the fright of my life
First they asked me my name
Then showed me a picture of the wife

“I’m afraid it looks like she’s been
Hit by a bus,” the officer said to me
I nodded and said in reply “I know
But she has a lovely personality”

Monday, 16 July 2012

The Love Selection # 3

LOVE IS LAYERED

Love is layered,
Sedimentary
Each layer secured
By the one above
Love is not shallow
Love is deep
And does not lay
Beneath a fragile crust

GOOD OLD JOHN

Good old John
You were always there
Nothing too much trouble
Always on hand to advise
To give a helping hand

Good old John
Steady dependable John
Unselfish, good egg John
Smiling humble John
Ever reliable

Good old John
I see you now in hindsight
Waiting in the wings
Holding a watching brief
Biding your time

Good old John
Simple undermining John
Conniving deceitful John
Smiling conspiring John
My wife’s friend John

Good old John
There you were
Pouring poison in her ear
Drip, drip, drip
But she saw through you
Good old John

BENEATH THE SUN ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT # 1

Beneath the sun on the Isle of Wight
Amidst the fun at Blackgang chine
I spotted her amongst the crowd
And vowed that I would make her mine

TO BE A SPECIAL LOVE

To be a special love
It should fit like a glove
But what I cannot tell
Is does the glove fit her as well?
It too must be a perfect fit
That is it, and all about it
To be a very special love
It should fit her like a glove
One ill fitted hand
And the love will never stand
Both should set foursquare
To be a perfect pair

A LONG AGO WORLD

A long ago world
In Days of innocence
And a wondrous summer
We stood on the cusp
Of loves first awakening

When Feeling awkward and gawky
We took our first faltering steps
In the realm of love
Wearing swim shorts
And self conscious blushes

It was a guiltless time
When holding hands
Was a physical pleasure
And stolen kisses
Seemed to last forever

If I had the presence of mind
I would have bottled that summer
And when I felt
Tarnished by the world
I would take a long sip
And be refreshed

BENEATH THE SUN ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT # 2

Beneath the sun on the Isle of Wight
I first laid eyes on the lovely Gill
And on that sweet summers day
I lost my heart forever at Robin Hill

THE NEWS CAME

The news came,
As bad news does
Out of the blue
At break neck speed
And hit me like a train
With deaths hateful sting
Numbing me to the core
Leaving me speechless
And too arid to cry
Before the pain burst through
Bringing forth the bitter tears loves
Despair washed over me
Until I was drowning in sadness
I sank in its frigid waters
To the depths of my soul
So bitter was the news
The loss so acute
I was broken in two
Lying beaten
On the ground
I could feel no worse
I could sink no lower
Then like kicking an injured dog
Remorse hit me
Like a tidal wave
Knocking me off my feet
Why didn’t I tell him?
Why didn’t I say?
I love you too

IT HAPPENS AGAIN AND AGAIN # 1

It happens again and again
A simple smile and I dare to dream
That this might be the one
But alas no it’s a familiar theme

AMBER EYES

She had amber eyes
Which marked her out
Such a rare and beautiful hue
You might say it made her special
And special she was
This girl with amber eyes
But not for the rarity of the hue
But for an even rarer quality
This girl with amber eyes
Was so special because
She was beautiful inside and out

I WOULD CROSS AN ARID DESERT PLAIN

I would cross an arid desert plain
Sail upon a sea of hurt and pain
Traverse landscapes bleak and bare
Climb great mountains of despair
Navigate thru skies black with thunder
And lightning bolts to strike asunder
This and so much more I will gladly do
Just to spend some time with you


ARE YOU WEARING?

ARE YOU WEARING LEG WARMERS? # 1

Are you wearing leg warmers?
It should be one of those nostalgic sights
But if memory serves and I’m not mistaken
They’re not supposed to go under your tights

ARE YOU WEARING A SPORRAN ONCE AGAIN?

Are you wearing a sporran once again?
Well its not that easy to hide
But I feel I should point out
You wear it on the outside

ARE YOU WEARING A PURPLE BONNET?

Are you wearing a purple bonnet?
And a pink scarf about your neck
Well I don’t know how to tell you
But you really look like a prick

ARE YOU WEARING LEG WARMERS? # 2

Are you wearing leg warmers?
It’s a fashion statement well made
But if memory serves me well
Not for this particular decade

ARE YOU WEARING SCRUBS?

Are you wearing scrubs?
It’s not a sexy look
It’s something and nothing
In my book

Even though you’re fit.
I don’t care if you’re
Naked underneath
I don’t care if you’re

Extremely slutty
You have scrubs on.
I like the nurse’s uniform
Of Pristine cotton

And starched white apron
A silly hat
And Black stockings
Scrubs leave me flat

But the uniform
Is a different issue
That gets me going… oops
Have you got a tissue?

ARE YOU WEARING A SPORRAN AGAIN?

Are you wearing a sporran again?
Wow that really is a beut
It’s an unusual choice though
A sporran with a safari suit

ARE YOU WEARING LEG WARMERS? # 3

Are you wearing leg warmers?
Not the most cutting edge look of yours
But what goes around comes around
Or has the elastic has gone in you drawers

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 277

Is John Smith within?
Yes there was one to begin
Followed by many more Smiths
And now I’m quite pithed

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 278

This is the way the ladies ride
yes, yes, yes. oh yes

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 279

This is the way the gentlemen ride
Gallop-a-trot,
Gallop-a-trot!
This is the way the gentlemen ride
Get out of the way you oiks


21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 280

This is the way the farmers ride
Hobbledy-hoy!
Hobbledy-hoy!
This is the way the farmers ride
Get off my land you rambling bastards

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 281

Hush baby, my doll,
I pray at this juncture
My sweet baby doll
Hasn’t got a puncture

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 282

Four and Twenty tailors
Went to kill a snail;
But natural England
Had them sent to jail

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 283

If clouds or mists do dark the sky
And they make you feel glummer
Don’t let them get you down
It’s just the English summer

A Humourous Selection # 13

I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT IT QUITE IRONIC

I’ve always thought it quite ironic
That along with the malcontents
The favoured tipple of choice
For the homeless is Tenants

I’VE GOT TO DRIVE MYSELF TO BLACKPOOL

I’ve got to drive myself to Blackpool
And I’ve not long passed my test
Now I have to navigate my way around
The cobbled motorways of the northwest

DREADLOCKS AND YOUR WHITE

Dreadlocks and your white
Interesting look but with a snag
It makes your head look like
An exploded Hoover bag

I HAVE SIX POINTS ON MY LICENCE

I have six points on my licence
I’ve been done for speeding before
but today I was cautioned to slow down
By my doctor and not by the law

MY REGIMEN IS NON-STOP

My regimen is non-stop
I have so many pills to pop
If I desist I’m for the chop
They’re for life I cannot stop

IT’S NOT THE SAINTED CORPS

It’s not the sainted corps
Of unacquainted bores
Hunting painted whores
To perform their tainted chores

MY WIFE AND I ARE VOYEURS

My wife and I are voyeurs
We like to watch then get at it
But the weathers gas been so bad
We haven’t been out to watch it
So at home we checked the listings
And a program left us all agog
But we were really disappointed
When we switched on for Watch Dog

I KEEP GETTING EMAILS

I keep getting emails
About penis extensions
But they’re not for me
Those kinds of inventions
Some may think that the lily
Is in need of some gilding
But no they’re not for me
As I live in a listed building

I LOST MY VIRGINITY DURING EXAMS

I lost my virginity during exams
I don’t think it at all immoral
I will never forget the experience
It was one hell of a French oral

A LIFESAVING TOOL

She bought a lifesaving tool for her car
Which for her was quite astute
It’s designed to cut through your seat belt
In the event of it trapping you on route
Particularly in the aftermath of a Crash
Unfortunately Bimbette keeps hers in the boot

CALL CENTER MODE ONCE AGAIN

One day Bimbette was having trouble
With her computer,
So she decided to try the call center
At a time that would suit her

"Hello how can I help you?"
The tech support guy said
“I have a huge problem”
She replied scratching her head

That’s why I decided
To phone up the engineers
Coz Every time I move the mouse
My screen saver disappears”

Friday, 13 July 2012

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 12) The Summer Ball part two

So I found that I was sitting next to Pandora at the Summer Ball, God had been very kind I thought
“Well that’s probably the best table in the room” I said
“I agree” Judith said proudly
“So who do you think we need to thank?” I asked her
“Pandora of course” Judith scoffed “She always does the tables”
Then she stuck her arm through mine and said
“You may escort me to my table good sir”
“My pleasure madam” I liked Judith but my pleasure for the evening was wearing a powder blue dress and she had arranged it so she would be sitting next to me.
Well Judith and I were right about it being the best table in the room
Georgia’s parents and their friends the Collins’s kept up an almost constant banter, going all night to the point that by midnight my sides ached.
Judith and Victoria were getting very merry indeed
While Pandora and I were almost totally sober.
Pandy was being very provocative, Every opportunity she got she was squeezing my thigh or brushing my leg with hers even at one point holding my hand under the table, so we were both enjoying it very much.
The only people from our table who didn’t seem to enjoy it were Pandora’s husband Graham who won the big prize in the men’s Golf tournament and Laurence Hunt who won a minor prize.
They seemed totally bored with the whole affair other than the prize giving.
Graham complained about everything and Laurence refused to join in and communicated in monosyllables.
Judith was not at all pleased with him and made no secret of it.
Laurence soon deserted Judith to go and celebrate Grahams victory with him in the member’s bar.
As a result Judith got shit-faced drunk, quite untypical behaviour and Victoria, in order to give moral support got ratted as well.
So by 12.15am Judith was in trouble, she had gone to the loo sometime earlier and was found in the ladies and could barely walk.
We sent word to the member’s bar for Laurence to come but he just brushed it off and continued in the same vein.
So we resolved to take her home, Victoria volunteered but could hardly stand herself so I suggested to Pandy that as they both lived just the other side of the 18th Fairway I could take them home on a Golf buggy
“You cant do it on your own” she said “I’d better come too”
So as discreetly as possible and with the aid of Georgia and another waitress we snook them out the back door nearest to where the buggies were parked.
We put Victoria in the front and I told Pandora to get in the drivers seat
We then put Judith behind her and I sat behind Victoria so I was in a position to prevent either of them from falling off.
“Ok let’s go,” I said
“Simon? I’ve never driven one of these before”
“Ok turn the key”
“Check” Pandy said in a deep simulated pilot’s voice
“Now select forward”
“Check”
“Hand brake off”
“Check”
“Depress accelerator”
“Cheeeeeck” she shouted as we shot forward
“This is great,” she said
I was so concentrated on preventing the ladies from falling off I was nearly ejected myself.
“Steady Jensen” I said
“Sorry”
About half way along that part of the 18th fairway there was a wide opening that allowed egress through the woods, which eventually arrived at the end of an old cart lane.
This in turn led between two cottages; one of them was being Judith’s.
We had to go that way because the woods were too thick to fit the buggy through anywhere else.
“Head towards the lane Pand” I said “and put your lights on”
“I have lights?” Pandy replied, “cool”
“Where’s the switch?”
“Next to the key” I said
“Got it”
It was a bright moonlit night so out in the open we could manage without lights, but once amongst the trees it would be a different story.
Pandora drove through the trees and stopped in the lane at the back of the Hunt’s home.
“You hold onto Victoria and I’ll take Judith in,” I told Pandora
“Ok”
I didn’t want to take her to the front door in case any of the neighbours saw her in her condition as I said this was untypical behaviour.
Now Judith wasn’t a big woman but she didn’t make life easy for me, she kept going limp so I had to keep grappling with her, I did get a good hold of her tits in one incident, and very nice they were too, and her arse wasn’t bad either,
All of this was taking me longer than I anticipated getting her to the back door.
So in the end I picked her up and carried her.
The lights were still on downstairs so I put her down and I pinned Judith between the wall and me while I knocked on the glass.
It was only a moment or two before the outside light went on and the door opened soon after.
It was one of her teenage sons, Callum,
“I’m sorry Callum she’s had a bit too much to drink”
“Who is it Cal?” Came another voice, this time it was David the oldest boy
“Its mum” Callum answered “come and help”
“Where’s my dad?” David asked
“We sent someone to find him…” I couldn’t think what else to say
“But he didn’t want to leave his cronies” David finished
I nodded
“Well thanks Mr Fisher we appreciate it,” said Callum
“Not a problem really and call me Simon” I said, “She’s one of the angels you know?”
He nodded proudly
“Thanks Simon” said David and shook my hand
When I got back to the buggy Pandora was struggling to restrain Victoria.
“She keeps saying she wants to go in the woods to find her lover”
“Simon there you are” Victoria slurred
“Ok back in the buggy and I’ll take you home”
“Yes Simon you can take me anywhere any time” she slurred again.
Pandora steered the buggy along the wooded track and headed towards the back of Victoria’s cottage.
Pandora turned the lights off and I picked Victoria up in a fireman’s lift there was nothing of her she was a small slim
Woman.
Pandora opened the gate and led the way down the path.
“Where’s the key?” Pandora asked
“Its under the Panda statue”
“How do you know?” Pandora asked
I had seen Victoria retrieve it the night I shagged her in the woods.
“Don’t ask,” I said
Pandy unlocked the door, stepped in and turned the light on.
“Take her straight to bed” Pandy ordered
“Ok”
Once we found the right room I laid her on the bed
“Lets take her dress off,” she said
“How about we leave her as she is and we take your dress off,” I suggested
“Down boy” she said smiling “you’re time will come, now help me with her dress”
I sat Victoria up again so Pandora could unhook and unzip then between us we pulled the whole thing off over her head.
Now she was just in het under things Pandy started pulling her tight off as I watched
It was the first time I’d seen her small slim body.
I was intimately familiar with Victoria’s fifty something body but it was dark and everything was by touch.
But only by touch, I think Pandora noticed my appraising eye and said
“I’ve got it from here thank you”
So I left her too it and went down to the kitchen.
I was sweating a bit now so I undid my
Bow tie and tucked it in my jacket pocked then I attended to the top buttons on my dress shirt.
She turned off the light and as we opened the back door and Pandy shivered so I chivalrously gave her my jacked, which reached down to her knees.
She kissed me gently, just once, then again more hotly.
I took my opportunity during the passionate kiss and grappled up her skirt and found her stocking and suspenders.
“Wait until you're invited” playfully slapping me.
She roughly rolled up the sleeves
And then held my hand as we walked back to the buggy.
“Stockings and suspenders eh” I said
“Yes I wore them specially for someone”
We got in and drove up the track. We’d gone about a hundred yards before we realised she didn’t have the lights on
“Put the lights on” I said
“I can see fine” she replied
“I’m like a cat” and made a little clawing gesture accompanied by a growl.
Then we emerged onto the fairway and she headed in entirely the wrong direction
From the club
“Where are we going?” I asked
“We’re going for a ride in the moonlight”
Pandora said “very romantic”.
“Yes but where are we going?”
“Well according to what you told Judith
We’re going to your favourite hole” Pandy answered
We finished up by the 17th green and she parked the buggy right on the tree line.
Close to the entrance to the clearing where we had enjoyed our first coupling.
“I desperately need a wee” she said and tottered off on her heels into the clearing where I had taken from behind over a fallen tree.

I could hear her peeing in the undergrowth, a prolonged jet hitting the hard dry ground, which I found was strangely alluring, and I found myself thinking that I would like to see it as well as hear it.
“Anything I can help you with in there?” I officered
“No thank you I can manage”
When Pandy came out from the woods she was carrying her shoes in one hand, her powder blue dress was draped over her arm and she was carrying some indeterminate folded items in the other hand.
She put her shoes and clothing at the back of the buggy where the clubs normally go and Pandora came and stood in front of me.
To my complete and utter delight Pandora stood before me in the moonlight wearing only stockings and suspenders, my dinner jacket and my bow tie, God that made me so hard.
“Why didn’t you want me to undress you in the woods?”
“Because it wasn’t all me under that dress” Pandora said
“There were garments and devices to make me look my best”
“You look perfect to me right now
“Then you had better have me right now”
Pandora unbuttoned my dinner jacket and let it slip off het to the floor
I instantly appraised her standing before me naked except for a bow tie around her neck
A suspender belt which framed perfectly her neat pubic triangle and dark blue stockings on her fine legs.
She looked fabulous with the moonlight shining on her forty-year-old breasts her nipples stiff in the cool night air.
“Wow” I said
She suddenly became self-conscious under my gaze and threw herself into me, her mouth sought out mine and found it, her tongue darting and probing my oral cavity.
While my hands caressed her back, her small soft hands busied themselves with my trousers, or the removal of,
She’d already dispensed with the cummerbund and had quickly undone the hook on my trousers and tugged sharply on the zip then her hands were down the back of my pants pulling them off my buttocks.
She pushed me back against the buggy and roughly yanked my pants and trousers down my legs and off my feet
Then she was back kissing me on the mouth and fumbling with my shirt buttons
She managed one of them then lost patience
“Take it off,” she ordered
Then in an instant she was on her knees and her lips were around my cock
“Oh yes mistress” I gasped out as I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it somewhere, anywhere.
I looked down at her blonde haired head moving expertly on my shaft while she played with my balls.
I thought I was going to explode in her mouth any second but then her lips were kissing their way up my body
Until her smiling face was only inches from mine, and she kissed me again.
I became aware of being manipulated as we kissed like we were in a slow dance on the dance floor and I just went with her
When we had turned 180 degrees and her back was against the buggy she slid her fine buttocks onto the seat and opened her thighs
She kissed be deeply running her fingers through my hair then I felt downward pressure from her hands as she pushed my head down to her waiting cunny I was ready to fuck her but she wanted head first so I obliged her and went down between her stockinged thighs to sup on her hot gash,
I worked the creamy wet flesh with my tongue, my nose, my chin and she wriggled and squirmed, moaning and gasping as I sucked at her lips and licked her cunny until she could wait no longer.
“Now Simon” she screamed
Oh Simon do me now”
So I raised my head from my task, my face wet with her juice and found her laying stretched out across the front seats of the buggy, with one hand gripping the steering wheel and the other playing with her nipple.
Her legs were spread wide and she was open and her juicy quim was at the perfect height to receive me.
I gave her two inches and she sucked in air through her teeth
”I want it all” she said, “give me all of it”
And with her legs around me and crossed at the ankles
She pulled me all the way in.
“Ahhhhh” she said as she received all of me
The same with the next stroke and the next
I gave her three more full lengths and she came
Then she panted a few times through gritted teeth
And she was really making my balls wet
Then she came three times in quick succession making the same delicious sound.
“Ah”
“Ah”
“Ah”
“Ohhhhh”
It thought to myself as I pumped her pussy how much I loved making women moan.
I knew I couldn’t hold off much longer, I was very close
Pandy’s next big orgasm would be the finale
I had a great rhythm going her legs she was gripping me hard and I was playing with her tits as I banged her and banged her
“Orrrrw” she uttered with every hard stroke
“Orrrrw”
Then as the strokes shortened it changed to
“Oh”
“Oh”
Until we reached that perfect point of climax when we both came together
“OORRRRR” she screamed at the top of her lungs
I pulled out of her and she let out a sigh of satisfaction
Then I bent down and kissed her quivering belly then lay my face against it.
She sighed again and I felt her muscles contract and I stood up just in time to see a little dribble of my cum escape from her hole.
Pandora lay there for about twenty minutes I threw my jacket across her and the only sounds coming from her were her sighs and a series of soft whispers from her fanny.

I had redressed my self and was sitting on the back seat watching her rerunning the night’s events in my head subconsciously selecting moments for the wank bank.
Apart from the obvious inclusions there was also the sound of Pandy peeing in the woods, her screaming orgasm, the dribble on her lip and her fanny farting would all make it in.
As Pandy stirred I wondered if she had a wank bank and what moments would be in it.

“Turn your back,” she said
“Why?” I asked
“So I can get dressed”
“But I’ve already seen everything”
“That was when we were making love” she corrected me
“This is different”
“Ok” I said and turned my back to her
“And no peeking”
“Ok”
I thought it was rather cute that even after what we had just done she was still acting shy, that’s a point scorer.
“Now you can look,” she said
When I turned around she was wearing the powder blue dress and judging by what I could hear as she was dressing her silk knickers as well.

We got back on the buggy, with Pandora in the driving seat again. Before we set off she turned to me smiled and kissed me I immediately responded to it by slipping my tongue between her slightly parted lips Pandora warmed to this and responded in kind for a full minute before stopping abruptly.
“That’s quite enough of that” she said sharply
“But you were enjoying it too”
“That’s not the point it’s too late”
“It’s never too late” I said nibbling her ear and sliding my right hand along her stockinged thigh seeking out the flesh above.
She clamped her thighs together and pushed down on the accelerator.
But this was not easily done and was finding it difficult to apply full pressure on the accelerator as well as keeping her thighs tight closed,
She released her grip on my hand for a split second and the buggy inched forward and my hand passed her stocking top, she clamped again.
She released her grip again, briefly, the buggy inched forward again and my hand was inside her silk panties.
She opened her thighs and depressed the accelerator and we trundled forward as my finger parted her lips.
The buggy was making some progress and Pandora was biting her lip though not in concentration I had found her sweet spot and she was creaming my fingers.
She carried on driving and biting her lip and I carried on stroking and creaming her lips all of a sudden she stopped the buggy.
“You bastard” she said and kissed me while she unzipped my fly.
I was still stroking her creamy pussy as she pulled my cock out and her busy little fingers roughly tugged on my shaft
After a minute of two of this frenetic fondling Pandora slid over to my side of the buggy with her back to me, which left me to conclude that Pandy wanted rear entry.
So ever ready to oblige I got out of the buggy and dropped my trousers.
Pandora then slid right across the seat I pulled up the back of her dress and exposed a round silk clad arse.
I got my fingers under the waistband and prepared to pull them off her buttocks.
“No leave my knickers on darling” she pleaded “go up my leg again, like before, I really loved that”
So I hooked my thumb inside the leg of her knickers and pulled the silk panties to one side to expose her moist cunny.
I slid my stiff shaft between her eager lips and as I went in up to my balls, breath left her like air escaping through a valve and the harder I pumped the courser the breath.
Only one thing was missing for me so I unzipped the back of her dress.
Pandora turned her head and gave me a smile and rose up onto her elbows so I could cup her globes as i was in and out of her.
Pandy was almost spent and all she could do was emit low rasping moans in response to my penetrations but I drove on and on.
And as she went rigid beneath my loins she rallied all her remaining strength she screamed into the night.
“OORRRRR” and then a second later as my cock twitched and pulsed inside her welcoming minge.
“OHHHHH”
Then she collapsed forward, totally and literally shagged.
With my hands on her hips I stayed in her a moment longer while I admired the spent sensual being impaled on my cock.
I don’t know what it is but there is something very powerful about being inside a woman from behind.

After she had redressed herself, i.e. rearranged her silk drawers and hidden away her magnificent tits I said
“Well good night then”
“What?” she said with panic in her voice “Don’t leave me”
I smiled at her
“You bastard” she said and slapped me
“Do you really think I would just leave you here?”
“No” she said hugging me “But you’re still a bastard”
Pandora lived at the other end of the village, her rather grand house backed onto the 3rd green.
So we trundled across the course in the buggy, me driving this time Pandora next to me with her arm through mine, wearing my jacket again.
We stopped right in the trees by the third green and I walked her through the woods to her back gate we paused in the darkness and kissed a long sensual kiss.
“You’re not going to avoid me again are you?”
“No, never again”
Suddenly she panicked
“I can’t go home carrying my under things” she said
So she stuffed them in my dinner jacket pocket
“I will collect them from you tomorrow, no peeking”
I stood looking at her smiling
“What’s the matter?”
“My jacket?” I said
“Oh yes, silly me”
She took off the jacket and gave me one final kiss and she was gone I watched her safely to her back door and then got back on the buggy.
“Well” I thought to myself “that’s your first Summer Ball”
And Pandora was a truly great Summer Ball come to think of it she’d be great any time of year.

Late on Sunday afternoon Pandora was just leaving through the front door of my cottage, carrying her unmentionables in a carrier bag, as Georgia was coming up the path
A couple of minutes earlier and she’d have caught us snogging in the porch
I did peek at the items in Pandora’s bag, one was a body shaper and the others were sticky breast lifts.
“Hello Georgia” she said hoarsely
“Oh dear Pandora, your voice sounds awful”
“It must have been the night air,” she said
Screaming orgasms in the night air more like I thought.
“Bye you two,” she hoarsely called trotting down the path “and thanks for last night Simon”
“What was that all about?” Georgia said
“Oh helping to get the old lushes home last night,” I said smiling.
“Come on in and I’ll tell you all about it”
And you can also have the benefit of the erection Pandora just gave me.

An Antidote To Writers Block (Part 11) The Summer Ball part one

It was the morning of the Summer Ball the “jewel in the crown” event on the Bushy Down Golf club calendar.
The day begins at first light when the Summer Ball tees off.
Then after a full mornings play, preceding a sit down lunch the tournament concludes in the afternoon.
The Golf is normally concluded by 5.00pm and the Ball proper commences at 8.00pm with a sumptuous meal prize giving and dancing.
They certainly had a glorious day for it, I had no plans to participate in the Golf, competitions aren’t my thing.
What I had planned to do was sleep late and then spend the rest of the day writing.
I thought I had gathered some valuable material the day before deflowering the former flirty virgin Emily Gomez.
I felt I could easily achieve 20,000 words on her delicious delights alone.
However I was awoken earlier than planned, much earlier infact, by a rattling of crockery from the kitchen and the sound of water running, a kettle filling probably.
I looked at the clock and it was 6.05am and I had an unexpected houseguest, I had no idea who it was and frankly it could have been anyone.
I got out of bed with a bit of a semi on, thanks to a vivid dream about Emily kneeling on my chair in the study.
I decided on a shower before meeting my guest.
After showering I just threw on my robe and wandered downstairs as I approached the kitchen I suddenly hesitated as I caught sight of Cousin Molly sitting on the kitchen counter completely naked and fingering herself.
I didn’t want to embarrass her so I did the gentlemanly thing and watched her through the crack in the door.
The semi I had from my dream of Emily had turned to a full on boner.
Molly wasn’t phased or embarrassed as I walked into the kitchen, nor did she stop what she was doing.
“What are you up to then?” I said walking up to her and kissing her full on the mouth. “Apart from the obvious”
Molly was still fingering her crack so with her free hand she reached inside my robe and grabbed my swollen cock
“How long have you been watching?” she asked between kisses
“Long enough” I replied
“Oh yes it is” she purred and pulled it towards her pussy
But I wasn’t ready to go in her just yet so I knelt before her shaven pussy and noshed on her juicy cunt, after her delicious self abuse it didn’t take long for me to take her to climax and I was soon stood in front of her again and this time I let her plug my cock into her cunny and with her legs hooked behind my arse and her arms locked around my neck I fucked her hard, which is what she wanted, a good hard fucking.
Just at the point we both came the Microwave pinged and Molly’s breakfast was ready.

We sat at the kitchen table, both naked, drinking coffee,
“What are you doing here any way?” I said
“I was on my way to Mum and Dads for the weekend when I got really horny and I thought who do I know around here that can scratch my itch?”
I nodded
“But no one was home so I came hear” then Molly laughed; in fact she laughed so hard she spilled some coffee.
“You don’t want seconds before you go then?”
She stopped laughing took me by the hand and led me upstairs to bed were we had a much more leisurely fuck.
Molly was back on the road to her parents by 9.00am and I went back to sleep and didn’t wake again until after one.
I had my second shower of the day then wandered over to the club for a spot of lunch.
It was 2.30pm by the time I got over there and lunch had finished serving so I thought I’d ask if they could knock me up a sandwich.
I could see Georgia as I walked to the bar and I thought she’d seen me but she just kept walking, they were quite busy and I was at the bar for 5 minutes or more and I wasn’t even close to being served.
Suddenly Georgia was stood next to me.
“Hi honey” I said “Shouldn’t you be serving
“It’s my break,” she answered curtly
“I’m only after a sandwich,” I said hopefully
“Come with me” Georgia said and strode off
“Great” I thought and followed her
She led me down a corridor, through a door that said staff only, down another corridor finally arriving at another door.
“In here” she said
“She’s in a funny mood,” I thought but at least I’d get my sandwich.
As the door closed the light went on to reveal it was a storage cupboard, and all at once Georgia was all over me,
She already had her white shirt opened and she put my hands on her tits, and she had no bra on, why wasn’t she wearing a bra?
Then her tongue was straight down my throat and she was using both of her hands to extricate my prick from my trousers.
“Blimey Georgia” I said after breaking away from her mouth “What’s got into you?”
“You in a minute I hope” She kissed me hard on the mouth again
“Why now”? I asked escaping her lips again
“Because I’m so horny,” she said planting another kiss on my mouth,
“And where’s your bra” I asked indignantly
“In my handbag” she answered curtly
“Bloody hell what is in the air around here today that’s making everybody horny” I thought as Georgia had finally debagged me and released my cock.
Then she was on her knees and took me in her mouth, she normally needed encouragement to do that.
I was hoping, I thought, as Georgia got busy on me, to get in someone’s pants at the Ball tonight but if all the women are as hot to trot as Molly and Georgia have been I would need a bottle of Dr Claire’s Lazarus pills.
Georgia had sucked me up good and proper so I pushed her head back to allow me to withdraw from her mouth, she scrambled to her feet and after wiping her dribbling lips on her arm she kissed me again
I pushed her back against the door and yanked her skirt up her thighs so I could get my hands under her hem.
Gripping the hem in both hands I pulled it sharply upwards so the entire skirt was now around her waist I then turned my attention to her knickers, but she wasn’t wearing any.
“Where are your knickers”? I asked more than a little surprised
“In my handbag”
“Ask a stupid question,” I thought
Her arms were wrapped tightly around my neck and she was panting loudly in my ear so I reached around and got a firm grip on each buttock and lifted her up so her obviously syrupy fanny was at a height to receive me,
Once achieved I slid effortlessly into her hot cunny
“Ohhhhh god” she uttered
Georgia’s legs locked around my middle and I banged her against the door.
I had one hand on her hip and with the other I gripped the coat hook behind the door
I banged her again and again
Her bum cheeks slapping against the veneer
With each early stroke I put into her she responded with a long satisfied
“Mmmm”
As the rhythm increased and the stokes shortened she could only manage
“Oh”
“Oh”
“Oh”
“Oh”
“Oh”
Finishing with an “OH GOD YES” As I emptied my sac into her.
We stayed in that position for about a minute panting hard then she said.
“I really needed that”
“It was ok then?” I asked
“Oh yes, very acceptable”
“Good” I said sincerely “Can I have a sandwich now?”
“Definitely” she said smiling
We quickly made ourselves decent and exited the cupboard and retraced our steps down the corridor.
When we reached the staff only door Georgia kissed me and said
“I’ll meet you in the bar”
And I went through the door; I’d only taken a few steps along the next corridor when I was halted by the formidable Miss Snipe.
“This corridor is staff only Mr. Fisher”
“Yes thank you Miss Snipe I realise that now” I said “I got confused and took a wrong turn, it must be the heat”
But there was no fooling Agnes Snipe she knew I’d been up to no good she just didn’t know what or with whom.
“Will we be having the pleasure of your company tonight Agnes?”
“I will be seeing that standards are maintained and that individuals know their boundaries”
“I will look forward to seeing you” and walked passed her down the corridor and back to the bar.
I thought that whatever it was going around getting the ladies moist it certainly didn’t appear to have put any pep in Agnes Snipes pants.

I was sat down in our usual quiet corner just a minute or so before Georgia arrived with a pint of beer and a tuna steak salad.
“There you are sir,” she said putting first the beer and then the plate on the table “your reward for services rendered”
“Thank you miss” I said pompously “and do you feel sufficiently rendered”
“I believe so” Georgia replied “at least until tomorrow when I will expect you to render my arse off”
She gave a quick glance around her then lent down and kissed me tenderly.
“Well if that’s all sir? I do have other customers to service”
Then she turned away but returned in about 30 seconds
“I almost forgot” She gave another quick glance around her and then lifted the front of her skirt up exposing her white knickers.
“Just to reassure you,” Georgia said letting the skirt fall “I only take them off for you”
This was clearly meant as a light dig regarding my own philandering, which although she said she didn't mind, clearly did.

Before I returned home I decided I needed a little TLC so I went to the heath club, which adjoined the Golf club, I figured it would be quiet on Summer Ball day and I was right.
I signed up for a vitamin bath, sauna and a full body massage and I was so relaxed when I got home that I promptly fell asleep.

I didn’t wake up until 7.15pm which threw me into a blind panic I quickly got up and showered, for the umpteenth time that day and because of time constraints I did one of the things that I loathe, I shaved in the shower.
Oh well needs must I thought.
I dried, perfumed and powdered myself and changed quickly into my dinner suit complete with cummerbund and bow tie, I have to confess that with time against me I broke another of my own rules, I wore a clip on bow tie.
But I made it to the Ball with minutes to spare.
I would say that the sight of the array of stunningly turned out women that greeted me led me to believe that they allowed more than 40 minutes getting ready.
The first stunner I bumped into was Emily, the pretty young dusky maid I sullied only the day before, and she was with her best friend Jenny, a pale skinned redhead who I planned to sully very soon. They were both stunningly beautiful and wearing the expensive designer evening dresses they looked even more so.
“Hello Emily” I said, “you look beautiful”
I then leant in closer and said quietly
“Not as beautiful as yesterday though”
She blushed terribly and I turned my attention to her friend
“Hello Jenny, you’re looking stunning tonight” and by the way she coloured up so quickly I assumed Emily had told her of our encounter.
Emily recovered sufficiently to introduce me to her parents
Who seemed genuinely pleased to finally meet me.
I thought wryly that they wouldn’t be smiling quite so much if they’d seen my splitting Emily whiskers the afternoon before.
Then I was introduced to Jenny’s parents who seemed equally pleased to meet me, of course I hadn’t at that point caused any affront to the Smithson’s, but their time would come, as would Jenny’s.
I excused myself and made for the gents, this took me passed Agnes’s office just as I approached her door I caught sight of Miss Snipe with her dress pulled up almost to her waist whilst she adjusted her suspenders.
This revelation certainly moved Agnes up in my estimation not necessarily on the to-do list but… that was a definite point scorer.
Next I ran into Victoria Braithwaite who was looking very presentable, if in a rather retro fashion, but there was always more to Victoria than met the eye and I had not yet ruled out revisiting the surprising Miss Braithwaite hidden talents.
“Hello Simon” She said warmly “thank you so much for finding Maisie for me, she’s been an absolute godsend”
“I’m glad she’s been useful”
Just then Georgia arrived with a tray of drinks, Victoria took one and then I followed suit.
Just then Judith Hunt joined us, she was my next-door neighbour and all round good egg and she looked very shapely, I suspect a body shaper was being manfully employed but none the less she looked very nice.
“What are you two talking about?” she said
“I was just telling Simon what a little gem Maisie Stewart is”
At that moment Georgia whispered in my ear
“Just keep chatting up the oldies and you’ll stay out of mischief” and sniggered
I thought to myself you wouldn’t say that if you seen me nailing Victoria against a tree.
She stepped through the crowd to offer Judith and another guest a drink so I grabbed her arse and gave it a squeeze before I slid my fingers down the crease of her arse towards her box. And I felt her buttocks clench and then she moved quickly off to the next group.
Just then Dr Andrews and a rather plain looking bespectacled stick insect joined the group.
Judith ever the organiser handled the introductions
“I think you both know everyone” then doubting herself asked
“Have you met Simon Fisher?”
“Only in a professional capacity” she replied
“Hello please call me Claire” and she gave my hand a discrete squeeze before releasing it
Then she introduced her friend
“This is my colleague Olivia,” she said
I looked at Olivia and thought it’s a good job she wears glasses or you wouldn’t know which side the front was.
Then in answer to my next question
“Olivia is the practice manager” Said Claire and kind of nodded,
Then it dawned on me she’s the receptionist who said I write mucky books.
Claire could see the penny had dropped and smiled.
Well people came and went the group grew and shrank then grew again and when there were more people there that I didn’t know than I knew I decided to mingle.
I caught sight of an absolute beauty; she was a small young woman with short brown hair wearing a figure hugging knee length green silk dress,
It fitted her like a second skin and there was nothing between second and first.
No VPL in fact no visible lines at all.
As she walked her whole body moved like it was a liquid instead of a solid,
A figure of liquid silk, moving like risen bread dough being poured from a bowl.
I had no idea who she was and I only ever caught glimpses of her and I never did track her down again that night.
I hadn’t seen Pandora yet but I did see someone I recognised a little blonde in a long white dress, a highly unsuitable shade considering what she gets up to deep in the woods.
Stood next to her was the ever-dependable Judith
“Simon, Simon” she called
I went to join her
“Have you met the Carrington’s?”
“No I said, I don’t think I have had the pleasure” I looked straight at India when I said pleasure and she coloured up beautifully.
“This is Cecil” a rather arrogant looking man,
“Clemence” a clear indicator of what India will blossom into
“And their daughter India”
“Simon Fisher”
“Pleased to meet you all”
The small talk ebbed and flowed and I discovered that my initial assessment of Cecil rather missed the mark he wasn’t anywhere near as arrogant as his demeanour suggested
Clemence was as pleasant as she was beautiful and even India surprised me.
“Miss Braithwaite mentioned you knew someone hard working and conscientious who might be looking for some work”
“Yes I do, India, I’m not sure how much free time she has at the moment” I said “she’s in great demand, but I will certainly put her in touch”
It was just then I spotted Pandy in a powder blue dress heading towards the ladies so I made my excuses and left the Carrington’s but I did so safe in the knowledge that India was a land I might conquer again.
I positioned myself on the side of the room nearest to the ladies room that Pandora had frequented and drifted around on the fringes of groups not really following the conversation until she reappeared.
There she was
“Pandora! You’re looking very lovely tonight”
“Simon Darling” she said insincerely
Then she did that irritating air kiss either side of my face although on the second side instead of a kiss she said
“The answers no”
Then for general consumption she said
“I must get back still lots to do”
Well that seemed fairly definite, still plenty of other candidates for my lust.
I wandered over to the seating plan to find out who my dining companions were.
And guess who I found had got there before me? Judith Hunt
“Hello Judith we’re going to have to stop meeting like this you know”
“No chance of that I’m afraid” she said laughing “we’re on the same table”
“Really?” I said “how funny”
“Who else have we got?”
“Well there’s Laura and Geoffrey Gregory, (Georgia’s parents) Samantha and Owen Collins (friends of the Gregory’s) me and, Laurence” (Judith’s husband)
Victoria Braithwaite, you and not forgetting Pandora and Graham Parkinson-Brown”
So I was sitting next to Pandora, God had been kind
“Well that’s probably the best table in the room” I said
“I agree” Judith said proudly
“So who do you think we need to thank?” I asked her
“Pandora of course” Judith scoffed “She always does the tables”
Then she stuck her arm through mine and said
“You may escort me to my table good sir”
“My pleasure madam” I liked Judith but my pleasure for the evening was wearing a powder blue dress and she had arranged it so she would be sitting next to me.