ARE YOU WEARING PRIESTLY GARMENTS?
Are you wearing priestly garments?
How good you look in your vestments
Can you share any indiscretions?
That you hear during confessions
Oh what a shame you cannot share
I would like to be a fly in there
But what torture it must truly be
Having taken a vow of celibacy
And denying yourself the pleasures,
Of plundering earthly treasures
Only to sit each day in confessions
Listening to others sinful discretions
ARE YOU WEARING PROTECTION?
Are you wearing protection?
It may have been a wise selection
Not that I’m some kind of Lolita
It’s just that I’m a messy eater
ARE YOU WEARING A SOMBRERO?
Are you wearing a sombrero?
Have you been somewhere in the sun?
I was told you were in Cahoots
I didn’t believe it for a second hon.
I told them you can’t go there alone
You have to be there with someone.
ARE YOU WEARING A PITH HELMET
Are you wearing a pith helmet?
Oh the great white hunter yet
But that’s just a pose you strike
Great white tin opener more like
ARE YOU WEARING SUNNIES?
Are you wearing sunnie’s?
Oh dear you do look funny
I almost didn’t recognize you honey
You’re spending the week incognito?
Oh how lovely I’ve always wanted to go
But no one recognizes you though
ARE YOU WEARING A SCARY SCOWL?
Are you wearing a scary scowl?
And now you’re doing the growl
Am I supposed to throw in the towel?
You evil troll you cause me no fear
Back to your bridge do you hear
Your powers are useless here
ARE YOU WEARING CRUSHED VELVET?
Are you wearing crushed velvet?
Our curtains are a similar shade of anisette
I would like to be amidst the folds of velvet
Could I have a peak beneath the pelmet?
ARE YOU WEARING A GRIN?
Are you wearing a grin?
Oh you’re playing stupid agin
And why not you do always win
ARE YOU WEARING FRUIT?
Are you wearing fruit?
It doesn’t really suit
And there is a lesson
In there though my son
Never let 3 year old Joe?
Hold a ripe tomato
ARE YOU WEARING A SHORTY NIGHTIE?
Are you wearing a Shorty nightie?
No you don’t look at all flighty
You’re my goddess of love Aphrodite
And my desire for you is mighty
So lay back and think of blighty