FAMILY HUMOUR

THE LOST WEEKEND

Oh what calamity did befall?
What an embarrassment for us all
We over imbibed on Saturday night
And awoke on Sunday none to bright
On the porch the paper lay unread
We couldn’t face it and went back to bed
So next morning which was Monday
We found the paper and thought it was Sunday
So we had a relaxing fun day
Not realising it was really Monday
On Tuesday when I returned to work
I really felt a proper berk
My boss had a true blue fit
And saw no humour at all in it
And verbally assailed me with his rancour
Then he called me a total fool

MY DEAR OLD MOTHER

My dear old mother
Recently passed away
But it came to my attention
Only the other day
That she was in fact killed
By a “Mrs A”

VEGETUS # 3

My son has announced
His intent to take the pledge
To give up eating meat
He has given to allege
But I don’t know what he’ll eat
As he doesn’t eat veg

PEARL’S A SINGER

Pearl's a singer,
She stands up,
When she plays the piano
In a night club

Pearl has a sister,
She really pongs
And that’s why she’s lonely
Her job was entertaining folks,
Singing songs and telling jokes
In a nightclub

Shirl’s her sister, and they say,
That she once was a winner, now she’s hopeless
Shirls's a minger, and they say,
That she once had a shower
They said it was about a year a go
When she succumbed to the B.O.
It was rancid

Shirl’s a minger
She stands out
Coz she won’t lose the BO
In a bath tub