Dear Santa Claus its that time once again
And not for the first time I have to complain
Last Christmas you once again failed miserably
In securing that one simple gift for me
Every Christmas I write and beg and plead
And I’ve been good, not perfect though I’ll concede
This is not the first complaint you’ve had from me
I’ve written since I was four and now I’m forty three
So once again I’m sending you my Christmas list
And ask you to fulfill my one and only wish
Please send me my own special red hot lover
Or at the very least my own significant other
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