Friday, 9 May 2008


No need to park your car
Before withdrawing your money
There is now a drive through ATM
For people in a hurry

Mr ATM drives up to the cash machine And before putting his card in
Winds down his window Then types in his PIN
Enters the cash amount required
Retrieves card, receipt and cashWinds up his window Then off he can dash
That’s simple enough I think
They’ve made it as easy as they can
The procedure isn’t hard
Though clearly designed for a man
Unfortunately the machines
Are not exclusively for men
And that is the only problem
With a drive through ATM

Mrs ATM drives up to the cash machine Stops then reverses the car
Then drives forward once more
Because she backed up too far
With the car window now aligned
With that of the ATM
She applies the parking brake
And is ready to begin
She grabs her handbag
And tips out everything
Onto the passenger seat
To find her card holder thing
She tells her best friend
She will call her back later
Then hangs up the phone
And finds her debit card holder
She tries to insert card
Then winds down her window
She tries to insert card
Then leans out through the window
Because of the great distance
Separating the two of them
She opens the car door
So she can reach the ATM
She inserts her card The machine makes a bleeping sound
She re-inserts her card
The right way roundShe rummages in her bag
To find her PIN
And finds her diary
That has the number written in
At last she is ready
And she enters her PIN
Then she press’s cancel
And enters the correct PIN
She enters the cash amount required
Retrieved her cash and receipt
Then checked the state of her hair
When sitting back in her seat
She empties her handbag again
And with her purse located
She places the cash inside
And the debit amount is duly recorded
She checks her makeup in the mirror
Then drives forward about a yard Before reversing back to cash machine Where she retrieves her card She empties her handbag again
And locates the card holder
Then places her card into it And checks her hair in the mirror
She redials her friend on her mobile
And gives the irate male driver
A really dirty look
For impatiently waiting behind her She pulls away from the ATM
Stops and restarts the stalled engine
Then drives for five miles Before finally releasing the hand brake again

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